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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you have half siblings do you ever speak to their Mum or Dad?

30 replies

twinkleunderthebridge · 17/10/2021 16:14

If you have older half siblings, do you ever speak to or come in to contact with their Mum or Dad who would be your parents ex often? Is it awkward or completely cool and fine.

OP posts:
CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 17/10/2021 16:18

I’ve met his mum once.

DH has much younger 1/2 siblings…. They’ve never met his mum but he also has no contact with his mum.

2lsinllama · 17/10/2021 16:20

DS (13) has three older half siblings, all of whom have recently got married and had children. He has been to a load of social occasions (weddings/christenings/birthdays) and will happily converse with their mum and her partner. As do I - we’ll never be best mates but we can be sociable for the sake of her children.
Did have one awkward moment when he was very little when he asked her if she was his step mum (as he knew I was step mum to his siblings!)

ohihateithere · 17/10/2021 16:26

I don't speak to my sisters mum anymore unless I go and pick my sister up. Just small talk really.

TheGoogleMum · 17/10/2021 16:26

I think its a little weird unless there's a specific need to speak to them?

TurnUpTurnip · 17/10/2021 22:05

I have a half sibling but we have different dads not mums and no I never spoken to their dad or even met him

MumDadBingoBLUEY · 17/10/2021 22:10

Other way round, but I have younger half siblings by both parents. None of them know my other parent, but I'm NC with my biological father and haven't seen him myself in 20 years, or, indeed, met the half siblings that share him as a father.

Cuddlyrottweiler · 17/10/2021 22:16

I have 4 half siblings. I speak to one of their parents. 2 don't speak to their other parent, although when they did I did see them a bit as we had some hobbies in common, I stopped seeing them when I stopped the hobby and sibling stopped seeing them some time after. The other sibling I don't see I wasn't close to growing up so I see sibling now but never met their parent.
The parent I do see was married to my parent in common with sibling, I grew up with them and still consider them family now they're divorced. None of my siblings have anything to do with my other parent.

Sometimeswinning · 17/10/2021 22:22

Small town so I know my half brother and sisters mum. She's great! I love her stories about my dad! She hates him but in a nice way if that makes any sense. She likes me thoughGrin

Pinkplums · 17/10/2021 22:31

My half siblings attend my children’s birthday parties where both my parents and my dads new partner all mix in together.

ExpatForLife · 17/10/2021 22:39

My older half brothers' dad and step-mum treat me like their own daughter. They are lovely. My family is a bit weird though.

underneaththeash · 17/10/2021 22:40

I didn't meet my half sibling until I was 19. I've met his mum once, she had severe mental health problems and killed herself a couple of years later.

TracyLords · 17/10/2021 22:43

Yes... often since I was a child. My
Dads first wife lived within a mile of us growing up. My half siblings came to us a few evenings every week, so she was very much a part of our lives. She would babysit my younger brother and I if my parents went out. My parents would babysit her son who
Is the same age as me.

My parents bought her a Christmas present wvery year: she still exchanges gifts and meets up with my mum for coffee despite my mum now been divorced from my dad 20 years.

I see her as another auntie: she was at my wedding

SophieHatterPendragon · 17/10/2021 22:44

I’ve met my older brother & sisters dad a couple of time when I was younger. One of his daughters with his new wife came to stay with us one summer (they had to go see dying relatives in America) as my mum said she was just as much their sister as I was so if she needed somewhere to stay she should come to us

SofiaAmes · 17/10/2021 22:46

If I understood your question correctly.... my DC's half-siblings talk to me all the time and I am the ex stepmom. I have a wonderful relationship with them and where possible with their mums. They and my DC's are all NC with their dad, my ex.
I am grateful to have them in my life.

Mummabug18 · 17/10/2021 23:05

Have never spoken to my half brother but have had conversations with his other half sister and his mum and still have contact with her to pass messages on (like that our fathers mother died this week who he had also never met).

Newchances · 17/10/2021 23:10

My dad has a few half siblings,I didn't even know they were half until recently as he always counted them as full,all have the same dad and all look alike

Cottagepieandpeas · 17/10/2021 23:17

My brother is actually my half brother. His dad is lovely and I have spent Christmas with them & lots of family occasions.
My own dad is dead which probably makes a difference.

Porcupineintherough · 17/10/2021 23:18

Not often but when I see her and I send her my lice when I speak to my sister. Not awkward at all, she was my dad's first wife and she was always really kind to me and got on with my mum (they share a great bond in the shitness of my father as a husband).

Porcupineintherough · 17/10/2021 23:20

My love, my love not lice. Grin I dont actually have lice but if I did I wouldnt send them to her!

EishetChayil · 17/10/2021 23:20

My half-sister's mum won't speak to me or meet me because of how badly our father treated her. It's awful! I would love to meet her, but my father was such an arse to her, I don't really blame her.

CynsterBitch · 17/10/2021 23:27

When I was younger (up to teens) I saw my older half siblings maternal family a fair bit, it was all fairly amicable. In my late teens I moved abroad though and rarely go ‘home’ so wasn’t there for the usual family events where I would see them. But I did just see them all when I flew back for a big family event last month, and that was lovely. Finally met my big brothers other sister, she is 20 younger than my DB and 17 years younger than me, and I always thought it was weird that we had such an important person in common but had never met so it was great that we finally did.

WTF475878237NC · 17/10/2021 23:37

Yes. My much much younger sibling speaks to my mum and they get on well when we're altogether at family events. It's not weird at all.

shockedNeighbour · 17/10/2021 23:51

Technically I have a half brother but I always simply refer to him as my brother. I also consider him to be my full brother even if, technically, he is not.

I see/chat to his mum a lot. My parents divorced when I was little so I spent loads of time at her and my dad's house when growing up.

RainbowMum11 · 18/10/2021 00:04

Yes when I see them - still family really.
My older half DS I don't often see her Dads side of the family, but her Gran and Dad are always friendly.
My younger DS's - yes of course as their DM is my step mum.

iwishiwasafish · 18/10/2021 00:11

My older half-brother’s father died before I was born, so I never met him. I do find it very strange that my half-brother has other half-siblings that he has never met (his fathers previous children). Probably because we were brought up just as brother and sister (feels strange to refer to him as half brother).

Also, because if age gaps, I am in my 40s, my brother late 50s, his half-siblings are in their 70s.

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