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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son's passport expiring - family hols in ruins

828 replies

blueshoes · 16/10/2021 21:00

Dh and I were looking forward to our family holiday in Crete, Greece for the October half term. We watched the covid-19/PCR situation closely not realising that my 15 year old son's passport has less than 3 months. Just found out today. This is our first foreign holiday since covid struck.

The government website says that for entry to Greece, your passport must be valid for at least 3 months after the day you plan to leave Greece, or any other Schengen country.

We leave on 30 October and my son's passport expires just short of 3 months on 22 January 2022. It is too late to renew his passport as we are leaving in less than a week.

Ds cannot come with us, can he? Sad We f_ked up.

Anybody recently travelled to Greece with Ryanair with less than 3 months left on their passport? Is it a bad idea to turn up and chance it or bite the bullet now and plan on the basis ds cannot go.

OP posts:
BillieSpain · 17/10/2021 11:24

[quote Standingstilll]@BillieSpain

I have checked, it' s against the law to leave a child under 16 alone.

Stop this MN shit and hysteria about ^^
It's not in the UK.

If it was half of us would be locked up.

Only becomes an issue if something 'bad' happens. [/quote]
Oh! This was UK advice also my Dsis is child protection officer in a UK school.

This is 7 nights overnight alone.

Shouldn't rely on uk google sites I suppose. I'll trust your sweary outburst instead. I have never known anyone leave a 15 year old alone for 7 nights while they go on holiday (in a pandemic or otherwise) so not sure about your 'half of us would be locked up' stands.

Each to their own.

Lilifer · 17/10/2021 11:24

@balernobetty

I think the issue for me is is that the son didn't choose not to go on holiday, the situation has been forced on him. If it had all been arranged that the DS would have rather stayed at home and had arranged to stay at a friend or family member my thoughts would be completely different. The fact that he has to flit between 7 different homes, with 7 different sets of parents having responsibility for him, parents that the op doesn't even know, because the op doesn't want to change her holiday because of their fuck up is what I find galling
If you really find this galling then maybe you should step away from the thread and find something better to do with your Sunday. Seriously there ARE more important things going on in the world 😕
toffeeshock · 17/10/2021 11:28

You can’t leave him without someone actually being responsible for him. If he does get injured or something it wouldn’t be as easy as hopping on a flight and being back in a couple of hours. Someone would need to be there to look after him and sit with him in a&e for hours.

spottytop · 17/10/2021 11:29

Havanananana If you read my post that's not what I said. I am well aware that difference countries have different rules, all I said was you needed a valid Passport. The poster I was responding to was suggesting that pre-Brexit you could travel to EU countries with an ID card - you couldn't - you could only fly within the UK.

Cantfindausernamethatsnottaken · 17/10/2021 11:30

Wow how selfish
Im sure a 15 year old will be fine but I wouldnt even enjoy a family holiday with one member left behind.Sounds like a total narcissist.

TheHoundsofLove · 17/10/2021 11:31

I think lots of 15 year olds are mature enough to realise that mistakes do happen and to genuinely not want everyone else to miss their holiday. And would be quite happy playing x-box with friends for the week. The bit I don't think I'd be happy with is the sofa surfing aspect - I agree with others that there's quite a lot that could go wrong there. For me, he would need to be staying at one house for the week. Or be happy staying on his own for the week, possibly with family checking in on him - although that might depend on whether he's only just 15 or nearly 16.

firstbirthdayideas · 17/10/2021 11:32

If I was in this situation and my child couldn’t come, none of us would go. I wouldn’t just jet off and leave them behind because I fucked up Confused

GrandDuchessRomanov · 17/10/2021 11:34

I'm confused.

If the OP is so OK about dumping the poor kid on random DS's friends and parents, why even start a thread about it?

Just leave him and fuck off to Crete, absolutely no need whatsoever for a thread if you have already decided that is what you are doing.

As I say, confused................

Standingstilll · 17/10/2021 11:36

@BillieSpain

You said it was illegal to leave a 16 yr old alone. That could be anything from after school until parents get home at 6pm or 7 days whilst parents swan off on holiday.

There is always misinformation on MN about leaving children alone.

It's not great that a15 yr old would be left alone for 7 days and I wouldn't do it. But it's not illegal unless some neglect or harm occurs.

Read this

www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/in-the-home/home-alone/#

Standingstilll · 17/10/2021 11:37

@BillieSpain

I suggest your DSis reads up on it too as a child protection officer.

sunglassesonthetable · 17/10/2021 11:41

And where on earth did you get “squealing” from? Such a bizarre turn of phrase.

really? In your book? 😁

Fancy that, everyone using 'different' words.

Couldn't make it up.

23minutesfromTulseHill · 17/10/2021 11:41

There is no minimum age in English/Welsh law for leaving a child alone.

BillieSpain · 17/10/2021 11:44

I was told 'overnight for more than two nights' under 16. I have read that link previously.

Being out of the country is an added problem. Or, maybe my DSis just wants to lug her 4 yr old DS and come to Spain in her school holidays.

But I think this thread is a windup anyway, so as I said, each to their own!

I am also doubly paranoid as my horribly abusive stbexh would very probably use anything like this against me.
(No way would DD stay with him for many reasons)

WicketWoo · 17/10/2021 11:45

We did this. Realised the day before we were due to fly.

I went to Peterborough on the next available appointment. They won't do same day for kids but you can express it. It took about 3 days to come so my son and I joined the family a few days into the holiday.

It's not a lost cause.

Lightswitch123 · 17/10/2021 11:46

Yes you f'd up . But you have a week to sort it. Pony up and get a same day express replacement.

BillieSpain · 17/10/2021 11:47

[quote Standingstilll]@BillieSpain

I suggest your DSis reads up on it too as a child protection officer. [/quote]
She has, it is a role in addition to her main role in school. It is a boarding school so she seems fairly up on when children can travel into town solo, be left solo etc etc. Be released on weekends.

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 11:49

[quote ThePants999]@blueshoes - in case you haven't twigged yet, you are in a place famed for pearl-clutching, and should take certain replies with rather more than a pinch of salt. Your parenting is fine and your plan is fine. Have a great holiday![/quote]
I an mn old timer. I carry the thick hide of a working parent for having my and other similar mnetters' parenting villified over the years. My dcs bear scars that won't show up until years later and then it will be too late Smile

PS I don't speak for all working parents, many of whom have much more attentive and informed parenting skills.

OP posts:
Twitchynose · 17/10/2021 11:49

Depends on your son obviously and how sensible he is, but when I was 15 my parents regularly left me home alone for a weekend whilst they went away in their caravan. I would have preferred to die than go with them! By the time I was 16, they left me home alone for a week whilst they visited friends in France. I had an aunt about 5 miles away I could call if needed, but never needed to.

olidora63 · 17/10/2021 11:50

I would chance it and see what happens when you get to airport at end of holiday!

LJenn · 17/10/2021 11:53

"This is our first foreign holiday since Covid stuck"...

Thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻.

BillieSpain · 17/10/2021 11:53

But isn't that a very different scenario? @Twitchynose. Weekend in UK and Aunt 5miles away and age for a week? Plus no pandemic.

MissNothing1991 · 17/10/2021 11:55

@blueshoes

Appreciate the replies.

We looked into the one week fast track. I understand we have to book an appointment and then it is one week from the appointment. The earliest appointment we can get is mid-November, which is no good to us.

Anyone got their passport recently faster than that? rainysky, sunndyD, when you say same day, was that recently?

Agree that cost is not the issue compared to the cost of the holiday. It is whether it is do-able to renew within 4 working days in the first place.
T

You've not looked into it very well then, given there is a 4 hour service too. Do you just not want to take him?
sunglassesonthetable · 17/10/2021 11:58

You've not looked into it very well then, given there is a 4 hour service too. Do you just not want to take him?

you couldn't make this up😄

Redsquirrel5 · 17/10/2021 11:58

I’m not sure that I would do it but that would be me feeling guilty.

He sounds like a mature 15 year old. They are all different.

My mother left me for a week when I was 15. My nana had died in her sleep( afternoon nap) when she was living with my aunt. My aunt had 6 of her 8 children at home and so no room for us. Mum took my youngest sister with her and left me with my two other sisters 8&6 with me. She stayed a week because her sister had a miscarriage while she was there so was in hospital.

I had three lots of good neighbours if I needed anything. My sister’s went to school in a taxi anyway so I just had to get them up, dressed, fed and packed lunches then catch a ride to school ( rural) from one of the sixth formers. I was quite capable of feeding them because I was responsible for Saturday lunch since I was 12 and Saturday evening meal since I was 14/15. I remember I stayed off school on the Wednesday ( PE pm) because I was getting behind with the washing. I did the washing, vacuumed the house and went out for a ride on my horse that needed exercise. Mum rang me each night to check I was ok. Two neighbours came over to check we were ok.
I asked her about it when I was older and she said she was a bit worried but knew I was a very mature and responsible girl and she didn’t know what else to do. My sisters were fine they were fed, showered and dressed in clean clothes each day. I don’t know whether they told anyone at school, I didn’t.

Hopefully OP will queue up tomorrow and get the passport. My sister did this when she had to renew her Aussie passport she had an appointment in Newcastle and he only came up on certain days. She had it in under an hour and we spent the day shopping in Newcastle.

Good luck OP.

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 12:00

I appreciate the more supportive posters overnight, whilst still respecting contrary views.

Ds' age (15) and personality does play a big part in our decision. The one-friend-a-night was actually his decision, not ours, because he had so many friends message him back to say they wanted him over. I had not clearly thought through it. I take other posters' point and and will reduce that number to fewer and limit it to those parents I know vaguely better because our sons hang out together.

In a sense, it is more of an imposition on his friends' parents to ask them to take him for more than one day, so I went along but definitely can adjust that. I tried to ask ds whether he was just saying it because he thought it was what we wanted to hear and whether he was actually gutted in his heart to not come with us. He was a little Hmm. He does know his mind, this boy, which I cannot say the same for dd 18 who does want to come with us. The result may be different if it were dd.

I fell into bed quite sad last night as the days events sank in and the realisation ds is (most likely) not coming with us if I cannot renew his passport in person tomorrow. I wish he could and we will miss him, like an arm that has been removed, whilst on holiday. This is not the ideal start for our first family holiday without ds Sad

OP posts: