Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son's passport expiring - family hols in ruins

828 replies

blueshoes · 16/10/2021 21:00

Dh and I were looking forward to our family holiday in Crete, Greece for the October half term. We watched the covid-19/PCR situation closely not realising that my 15 year old son's passport has less than 3 months. Just found out today. This is our first foreign holiday since covid struck.

The government website says that for entry to Greece, your passport must be valid for at least 3 months after the day you plan to leave Greece, or any other Schengen country.

We leave on 30 October and my son's passport expires just short of 3 months on 22 January 2022. It is too late to renew his passport as we are leaving in less than a week.

Ds cannot come with us, can he? Sad We f_ked up.

Anybody recently travelled to Greece with Ryanair with less than 3 months left on their passport? Is it a bad idea to turn up and chance it or bite the bullet now and plan on the basis ds cannot go.

OP posts:
notanothertakeaway · 17/10/2021 10:16

@Potpourri23

Imagine being an adult and thinking back to that time your parents went on holiday without you because they'd fucked up your passport renewal and they shipped you off to a friend you could visit any old time and told people with a tinkly laugh that you had chosen that option for yourself
Yes I agree

And even if DS doesn't mind, and has fun with a friend, he'll remember that his parents left him behind due to their mistake. Not a great message for a kid, I think. But each to their own

PeanuttyButter · 17/10/2021 10:17

OP If your son is fine with it I wouldn't worry about it. If you are comfortable enough to know that he's mature/confident/safe to be home alone (I know he won't be completely alone) I wouldn't worry. He's 15 not 5, at that age my parents used to go away for the entire summer holiday (5hours away by car - 2000s) and I didnt have a mobile to keep in touch with them like I would now. If he's Ill I'm sure he knows to go to a pharmacy/GP/Hospital. He's old enough to give consent to any treatment he may need (Gillick competence) so I wouldn't worry. Just make sure you arrange a time to check in daily and have an emergency contact on standby.

Warmduscher · 17/10/2021 10:27

@PeanuttyButter

OP If your son is fine with it I wouldn't worry about it. If you are comfortable enough to know that he's mature/confident/safe to be home alone (I know he won't be completely alone) I wouldn't worry. He's 15 not 5, at that age my parents used to go away for the entire summer holiday (5hours away by car - 2000s) and I didnt have a mobile to keep in touch with them like I would now. If he's Ill I'm sure he knows to go to a pharmacy/GP/Hospital. He's old enough to give consent to any treatment he may need (Gillick competence) so I wouldn't worry. Just make sure you arrange a time to check in daily and have an emergency contact on standby.
The OP has said her DS is fine with it.

Who knows whether he actually is, or whether he realises that as his family and siblings are going on holiday anyway, regardless of the fact he can’t go because his parents fucked up, there’s no point in saying anything other than that he is happy to sofa surf instead of going with them.

Warmduscher · 17/10/2021 10:33

@Pythone

I'm quite surprised by the majority of responses on this thread! I remember being so happy the first time I was considered old enough not to have to go on a family holiday, or a bit before that, when I was allowed to do my own thing during the day on the holiday or stay in the hotel rather than being dragged around. I'm sure there are some teenagers who relish every moment of a family holiday (maybe? somewhere?), but do you all really think they see "family time" in the same way as their parents?
But the OP’s DS didn’t make the choice to go because he was considered old enough to stay at home.

He has to stay at home while his siblings and parents go on holiday to Crete because his parents couldn’t be bothered to check his passport was valid.

It’s the OP who is now scrabbling round trying to find places for him to stay with people some of whom she admits she’s never met.

Entirely different scenario to yours.

mumontherun14 · 17/10/2021 10:40

Don't leave him behind. Pay for the emergency passport or reschedule your dates. He would be gutted.

sunglassesonthetable · 17/10/2021 10:40

God all the squealing on here.

I have 4DC. One of them I wouldn't have left fo a night, let alone a week without an armed minder.

Two others I could have left for a month.

Could everyone here who knows OPs DS as well as she does please sit down?

Oh only you left OP. Crack on.

If OP's son is as laid back and calm as OP has been facing the barrage, it'll be fine.

Good Luck with the passport OP.

sunglassesonthetable · 17/10/2021 10:42

because his parents couldn’t be bothered to check his passport was valid.

Can you egg the pudding more ....? 😁

spottytop · 17/10/2021 10:43

Kendodd what a pile of rubbish - you've always needed a valid Passport to go abroad. You can travel in the UK with an ID card but not abroad. The wait for passports has nothing to do with Brexit - I always allow at least 12 weeks because that's how long it can take. More likely Covid has slowed down the process. By the way OP no way I would leave my 15 year old and go on holiday. I would be miserable the whole time an feel incredibly guilty. Even if the rest were going I would stay home with him, just couldn't do it.

spottytop · 17/10/2021 10:44

On another note OP your house could be party central, the much sought after "empty". You could come home to it wrecked with him being "Mr Popular".

SallyWebsterr · 17/10/2021 10:51

What happens if one of the families hes due to stay with cancels?
Or they test positive while hes with them?
Or where does he go if he leaves House1 and then finds our they're testing positive? Im assuming he then doesnt do 2-6.

Whitefire · 17/10/2021 10:51

I do agree that the idea of him moving from friend to friend every night is ridiculous. If he is staying at home then as the parent the OP needs to be approaching the other parent. My 15 year old totally missed the memo we were going away for the weekend a few weeks back and was very surprised when I asked if her case was packed, so there is a possibility that friend B is not going to be there on the planned night. You have to make sure the individual parents are aware of any plans.

Havanananana · 17/10/2021 10:53

That's incorrect, it's been standard for most countries that you must have 6 months validity on your passport from date of return for years. The odd one was 3 but most was 6, this is very common countries like Spain, France , Italy , USA

You are incorrect. When the UK was in the EU, there was no requirement for 6 months validity for EU countries, so Spain, France and Italy did not require this. Legally, you could enter for as long as the passport was valid, including the "additional" days that the UK grants when renewing a passport early.

Even post-Brexit, the requirement for Schengen countries is only 3 months - i.e. 3 months after the date of departure from the Schengen area. The UK government recommends 6 months, but the legal requirement is only 3 months.

Strugglingtodomybest · 17/10/2021 10:55

It's not an ideal situation, but I think that you and your DS are making the best of it. He says he's happy to be left behind and personally I would believe either of my sons if they told me that. I fucking hate it when I tell someone how I feel (looking at you mum) and they tell me that, no, I do not feel like that at all, I MUST feel differently. So good for you OP for believing your DS.

As others have said, he's old enough to understand that this was a mistake and that you are doing your best to rectify it. I very much doubt he's going to hold it against you for years to come, mainly because you have involved him in the problem solving. He has been able to choose how he spends the week at home. If you had forced him to stay with grandparents for the week, then he might have resented you!

And lastly, if my DS(15) asked if a friend could sleep over for these reasons, I wouldn't hesitate to say yes, because I would be sympathetic to your situation, and not judge you badly.

BillieSpain · 17/10/2021 10:56

I might have to go to hospital for a week. For various reasons I have nobody to leave (very sensible) 14 yr old DD with. Nobody I know well enough.

I have checked, it' s against the law to leave a child under 16 alone. I wouldn't anyway. I imagine my DSis will have to fly over with her DS. But the law and DD are far more important.

Especially during these times. Nothing hysterical about it.

Standingstilll · 17/10/2021 11:04

@BillieSpain

I have checked, it' s against the law to leave a child under 16 alone.

Stop this MN shit and hysteria about ^^
It's not in the UK.

If it was half of us would be locked up.

Only becomes an issue if something 'bad' happens.

wewereliars · 17/10/2021 11:05

The "plan" for the son to sofa surf at several houses with people unknown to the OP is worse than leaving him behind. The novelty of that will wear off for him after a day or two.

He needs to stay in one place FGS, he's not left luggage.

Lilifer · 17/10/2021 11:08

@Blankspace4

Why are so many people saying OP absolutely CANNOT a leave a 15 year old? He’s not 5! And clearly they wouldn’t be leaving him alone (I assume!) but with family.

Yes they’ve fucked up but mistakes do happen. OP doesn’t deserve to be crucified!

I agree with this ⬆️ Would maybe be different if their son was primary school age, he's 15 ffs! Maybe they cannot afford to lose the entire holiday, there would be no refund for this. A lot of sanctimonious judgemental people on this thread.
Lilifer · 17/10/2021 11:09

@Potpourri23

Imagine being an adult and thinking back to that time your parents went on holiday without you because they'd fucked up your passport renewal and they shipped you off to a friend you could visit any old time and told people with a tinkly laugh that you had chosen that option for yourself
😂😂 overthinker much?
Wowwe · 17/10/2021 11:10

I think if you chance it, you will be fine. I went to Spain last month and my nieces passport had 3 months left on her passport and Spain requires you to have 6 months left. my sil didn’t realise this and the airline noticed it but said because the parents passports were fine that they would allow it , and they were fine landing and coming back home. So many countries are struggling because of COVID , they need as much tourism as they can get IMO.
Just play dumb at checkin

Lilifer · 17/10/2021 11:10

@blueshoes

highland, blankspace thanks for the support. Dh and I totally balls-ed up. We were (and are) working so hard that we dropped some plates. I know it is not an excuse.
Mumsnet does not tolerate human error 😔
Warmduscher · 17/10/2021 11:18

@sunglassesonthetable

God all the squealing on here.

I have 4DC. One of them I wouldn't have left fo a night, let alone a week without an armed minder.

Two others I could have left for a month.

Could everyone here who knows OPs DS as well as she does please sit down?

Oh only you left OP. Crack on.

If OP's son is as laid back and calm as OP has been facing the barrage, it'll be fine.

Good Luck with the passport OP.

You don’t get to say who can post on a thread.

And where on earth did you get “squealing” from? Such a bizarre turn of phrase.

balernobetty · 17/10/2021 11:19

I think the issue for me is is that the son didn't choose not to go on holiday, the situation has been forced on him.
If it had all been arranged that the DS would have rather stayed at home and had arranged to stay at a friend or family member my thoughts would be completely different.

The fact that he has to flit between 7 different homes, with 7 different sets of parents having responsibility for him, parents that the op doesn't even know, because the op doesn't want to change her holiday because of their fuck up is what I find galling

Lilifer · 17/10/2021 11:19

@blueshoes

Couch surfing is an expression. I don't believe he will actually be sleeping on a sofa. I will contact each set of parents to arrange, with back up from family (which ds does not want to stay with). He was planning to go to the gym everyday on holiday and we chose a hotel with a gym for that reason. He will instead go to his usual gym everyday and probably play xbox with his friends for the rest of the time. Xbox is something he does every staycation holiday with us as well. We bring all his xbox kit with us.

He will miss out on nice Crete meals, that's true. I suspect he won't miss the Greek salads at all.

Honestly OP you don't have to justify your decisions and arrangements for your 15 year old son to a bunch of random strangers on Mumsnet, most of whom are being hysterically judgemental and over dramatic about this. You came on to ask for advice about the passport renewal and some nice posters gave you suggestions but now this is just a pile on for the Pearl clutching bien pensant parents who clearly are beyond reproach and never make mistakes, why bother engaging with them! 🤷‍♀️
Lilifer · 17/10/2021 11:21

@JellyTotCat

Good luck. I'm sure you're not the first person to make this mistake and won't be the last. We all mess up sometimes.
Exactly this 👏🏻
wewereliars · 17/10/2021 11:24

It's not the mistake, it'd the going on holiday anyway that's the issue.

And my opinion is as valid as yours Lilifer, you are not the arbiter of correct opinion.