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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to feel guilty??

50 replies

Misskittyfantastico85 · 16/10/2021 16:11

My DD is in year 8 at school, due to covid, she hasn't been on a school trip since year 5. Her current secondary school has just let us know they are doing a trips week for the whole school in June. She came home with a booklet of trips ranging from £650 for a whole week in Rome, to completely free for things like a day out doing beach photography or a day spent in school making clay pots. There were loads in between as well. There were around 60 trips to choose from all varying in price and she had to choose 3 trips for each day of the week in ranking order of how much she wanted to do them. All trips are very loosely based on a school subject.

After a thorough look through of the booklet, my DH and I told her that we had a budget in mind, and that unfortunately the Rome trip, Barcelona trip and euro Disney were off the table, but that we would let her choose any of the others and let her know whether or not they were in her budget.

So for mon-wed she chose a residential activity camping trip, a ski slope trip for Thursday and a ninja warrior place for the Friday. This all came to £320 which was within our budget of £400.

For her second and third choices she chose things like a day at school in a bake off challenge, a cooking session at school where they cook for and serve food to parents (if the parents want to go in) she also chose Harry Potter World and a Mexican restaurant and bowling. So of she doesn't get her first choices, she's still within our budget.

I absolutely understand that money is tight for people at the moment, but the level of abuse the school is receiving fir this trips week is unreal. Parents are up in arms that the cost is too high, or 'if I wanted my dd to have a week off school I should be allowed to take her' some parents are saying the free trips are crap and now they've got a tantruming child on their hands because the school has been so inconsiderate.

One mum called me last night to say how up in arms she was and that her and a few others are going into school to protest, there are already over 100 moany posts on the school Facebook group.

I was so excited for my dd and she is excited and now we've both been made to feel terrible because we're not screaming about the injustice of it all.

Seeing all the hate towards the school makes me feel really uncomfortable because were actually really excited. (I'm excited for her) aibu to feel this way

OP posts:
BeMoreHedgehog · 16/10/2021 16:18

I’d really struggle with that. No way could I even afford £400. It really would split the haves from the have nots. I think it’s a very poor system that the school have implemented.

GoldChick · 16/10/2021 16:22

It's a bit of a problem if your child chooses free things but they are oversubscribed and ends up with a week in Rome instead.

Original poster
Misskittyfantastico85 · 16/10/2021 16:24

**It's a bit of a problem if your child chooses free things but they are oversubscribed and ends up with a week in Rome instead.

This wouldn't happen, it was made very clear in a meeting that they will definitely get one of their 3 choices for the day. There were over 60 trips to choose from and they were all a range of prices to suit all budgets.

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 16/10/2021 16:25

I think it's a lovely idea but could have done without the really expensive options abroad. That way it would be less distinction between rich kids and others.

GoldChick · 16/10/2021 16:26

Ahh OK I see. Well as long as there is enough space for everyone to do a free trip each day then I guess that's not as bad. But I don't see why they have to go to Rome etc anyway. Especially not in pandemic times.

GoldChick · 16/10/2021 16:26

@MerryMarigold I agree, I bit less of a price range

maddy68 · 16/10/2021 16:28

I don't know why schools bother. Whatever they do they get abuse. Imagine the organising of 60 trips and people are complaining.

Finchall · 16/10/2021 16:30

But a great system in helping young people make reasonable choices and value money. Sometimes we can't all have just what we want. Realism for life is a good thing.

It is also a great way for young people to identify what is really important to them and to possible do some extra chores or take a small job to save up.

PyjamaFan · 16/10/2021 16:31

I think it all sounds great. I can't believe people are moaning and complaining.

If I was a teacher at that school I would be tempted to cancel the whole thing and refuse to do any trips ever again.

SentDeliveredRead · 16/10/2021 16:32

I think it's a lovely thing for them to organise, especially after the last shitty months children have had. It's really hard work to organise trips and days out, those poor teachers, why do they bother?
People like to moan about everything

ShinyMe · 16/10/2021 16:33

There were over 60 trips to choose from and they were all a range of prices to suit all budgets.

Clearly that's not the case though, if there are over 100 complaints already.

Rogue1001 · 16/10/2021 16:35

Is the catchment for the school generally wealthy-ish?

It sounds like the school is really trying to offer lots of options

Twizbe · 16/10/2021 16:36

My school did this. It was called activities week and it was near the end of the summer term. Year 10 were out on work experience, year 11 and sixth form were on study leave so that just left the younger years and lots of spare classrooms and teachers.

There were week long trips, day trips, free in school things the whole range. I never went on the big residential things (I didn't like going on them) but there were always some trips / things I wanted to do.

It was a nice way to fill the week.

I have a vague feeling that there was a pot of money in the school to help with costs for some of these too if a family was in need.

ChocolateCauldron · 16/10/2021 16:42

I think most schools do trips that not everyone can afford....its been that way since at least 1986 when ours did a PGL water sports holiday to France! It's an optional extra, not a mandated part of the curriculum.

Our school was classed as a rough area, low income, high benefits with low social mobility.

Other trips like French and German exchanges were low budget which meant those pupils got to see a culture and way of life completely different to what was their norm. It really had a positive impact which I still feel the benefit of 35 years later.

Be prepared for it be cancelled if its abroad though. Our school trip to Italy has been cancelled as the risk of a pupil testing positive whilst out there is too high, as they'd have to isolate for 10 days, and a parent would need to fly out.

Original poster
Misskittyfantastico85 · 16/10/2021 16:56

**There were over 60 trips to choose from and they were all a range of prices to suit all budgets.

Clearly that's not the case though, if there are over 100 complaints already.**

The complaints are mostly about how 'crap' the free trips are. I don't really know what anyone expects for free. There's a French 'picnique' for £10 where they go to a supermarket and choose french food and then have a picnic on the beach. Or a beach fossil hunting and stone painting day, or a day being a graffiti artist where they paint one of the school walls with spray paints. I understand that the free trips may not be as exciting as going to thorpe Park for the day, but alot of organising has gone into it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Misskittyfantastico85 · 16/10/2021 16:58

@Rogue1001

Is the catchment for the school generally wealthy-ish?

It sounds like the school is really trying to offer lots of options

It's a real mix. It's a fairly newish school that used to be boys only. Now the catchment has widened and its a real mix of incomes.
OP posts:
Georgewontsleepnow · 16/10/2021 16:59

I think it sounds fantastic and has great compromises on affordability. Such is life that we cannot all afford Rome, or even Thorpe Park.

Such a shame that school have got such abuse for this. They must have put so much time and effort in that is completely unappreciated. Like a Christmas gift being rudely returned for being too cheap. They should not bother and continue with the daily grind lessons. Or have a week in school teaching cooking, budgeting and volunteering in the community.

TheAverageUser · 16/10/2021 17:04

I don't think this is a good approach at all. It's a really visual way of letting teenagers know who has money and who doesn't.

MatildaIThink · 16/10/2021 17:10

@ShinyMe

There were over 60 trips to choose from and they were all a range of prices to suit all budgets.

Clearly that's not the case though, if there are over 100 complaints already.

They ranged from £600 to FREE, that suits all budgets. The fact that over 100 people have complained means nothing other than the fact that some people are so bat shit crazy that they would complain about free.
MatildaIThink · 16/10/2021 17:11

@TheAverageUser

I don't think this is a good approach at all. It's a really visual way of letting teenagers know who has money and who doesn't.
Teenagers will already know who has money and who does not, they are not stupid.
Bionicname · 16/10/2021 17:43

Maybe post on the Facebook page to say that you really appreciate the thought and work that has gone into organising such a varied programme. The free options actually sound pretty cool to me, though admittedly it’s a long time since I was a teenager!
Teachers are only human too and it must be gutting to only get abuse when you’re trying to organise something nice for the kids. I have much stronger memories of my class trips than of most of the lessons!

Twizbe · 16/10/2021 17:59

@TheAverageUser

I don't think this is a good approach at all. It's a really visual way of letting teenagers know who has money and who doesn't.
They already know that. They will know who has free school meals / doesn't have branded school shoes / branded school bag / who lives where etc.

Fossil hunting on the beach sounds awesome as does a picnic on the beach (but then I don't live by the sea)

ImitationofBeing · 16/10/2021 18:06

I'm impressed they provide a range.

Our secondary noally offer a trip to France or Spain (over £400) and a very expensive ski-ing holiday. So mine have never had any 'trips'

I'd love a range. It also enables those health problems, disabilities, stressed at leaving home an opportunity to take part in things. Not just about money.

SentDeliveredRead · 16/10/2021 18:32

And we wonder why teachers are leaving in their droves Hmm

Morgan12 · 16/10/2021 18:35

I think its shocking tbh. All this does is create divides and cause jealousy and makes children feel inadequate.

Should be a day trip at a reasonable price, not abroad.

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