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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to casually wear my old engagement ring?

47 replies

Hummmph · 16/10/2021 07:16

Perhaps a silly question; the answer is, I can do what I want, of course. I know it's anot the done thing, but I want people's opinions on this generally.

ExH and I have been separated and divorced for about two years now. When we got engaged many years back, he took me to pick my perfect ring, and I did. I did not go for the traditional single diamond, but instead picked a white gold beauty, which sported a deep blue sapphire as its main gem.

I have since acquired a few more pieces of sapphire jewellery and generally tend to match my jewellery and my clothes. I really miss that ring for its beauty and the sentimental attachment to it has long passed for me. I cannot generally wear shop-bought rings; my fingers are so tiny all rings have to be adjusted.

So, would it be completely weird to start wearing this ring as part of my everyday jewellery? And would it be off-putting for potential new men in my life?

OP posts:
Palavah · 16/10/2021 07:18

Wear it, but if you don't want people (prospective dates) to be put off, wear it on a different finger.

Thatsplentyjack · 16/10/2021 07:18

No,I thunk it would be fine. I probably wouldn't even notice though 🤣. Does it fit another finger? If you don't want people thinking you are married.

Weenurse · 16/10/2021 07:19

No problem at all. Wear it on the other hand if you feel weird.

tealandteal · 16/10/2021 07:20

Can you have it adjusted to wear on another finger? Or wear on the other hand (although my ring finger on each hand is not the same size).

Original poster
Hummmph · 16/10/2021 07:26

It only fits my left-hand side ring finger, sadly.

I suppose I definitely wouldn't wear it to an official date Grin, but before I get lucky enough to have one of those, I just have to hope men don't notice.

Luckily it doesn't scream engagement ring straight away.

OP posts:
Sciurus83 · 16/10/2021 07:29

Fine on another finger, get it resized?

ImaginaryCat · 16/10/2021 07:31

Definitely not on that finger. How much is your size difference on the other hand? My right hand fingers are all one size larger than the left, so some rings I can wear on both but not my wedding ring due to the snug fit.

CarryOnNurse20 · 16/10/2021 07:32

I wouldn’t if it only fits your ‘engagement ring’ finger. What about the other hand? I have a sapphire engagement ring and people have always known it’s an engagement ring due to being on that finger!

Jengnr · 16/10/2021 07:33

Have it resized and wear on the right?

swanswallow · 16/10/2021 07:35

I would get it resized and wear it on another finger.

Redwinestillfine · 16/10/2021 07:36

It would be weird to wear it on your engagement finger. Get it re-sized.

HugeAckmansWife · 16/10/2021 07:38

I wore mine on my right hand. It was a lovely ring and seemed such a waste to leave it in a box.

Starryskiesinthesky · 16/10/2021 07:38

I’d wear it definitely and I think an ‘engagement finger’ is a load of rubbish. We are in the 20th century not olden days when you signal that you are betrothed! Wear what you like!

madisonbridges · 16/10/2021 07:39

I'd be wearing it in a heartbeat. On whichever finger it looked the best. It's just a ring. Who cares if it's on your ring finger? It's easy enough to tell any new guy that that's the only finger it fits.

NailsNeedDoing · 16/10/2021 07:41

If you wear it on your wedding ring finger, people will assume it’s a wedding or engagement ring. It’s up to you whether you care about that or not, or would prefer to have it adjusted so that it fits another finger. But it’s your hand and your ring, wear it if you want to.

Jangle33 · 16/10/2021 07:56

No you can’t wear on you ring finger that’s weird.

I’m surprised exH didn’t ask for it back.

LizziesTwin · 16/10/2021 07:59

Have it made smaller now. If you meet someone else you won’t want to wear another man’s engagement ring so you might as well get it done now.

Pottedpalm · 16/10/2021 08:03

@Jangle33

No you can’t wear on you ring finger that’s weird.

I’m surprised exH didn’t ask for it back.

Maybe he did and she told him to trot on!
Nishkin · 16/10/2021 08:04

What @Starryskiesinthesky said- surely in this day and age we don’t have to save a finger in case someone buys us a ring

Before I was engaged I wore a ring on my ‘engagement’ finger- it was a cheap one which eventually turned my finger green so had no issue swapping it for my engagement ring!

Tabitha005 · 16/10/2021 08:06

Just think; 'What would Elizabeth Taylor do'? She wouldn't give a stuff whether it was an engagement ring - if it's a lovely piece of jewellery that gives you joy to wear then wear it and enjoy it.

BogRollBOGOF · 16/10/2021 08:10

Just wear it.

I swap my engagement/ wedding rings from left to right as my finger size fluctuates, and sometimes I get dermatitis if they stay on one finger too long. I'm no less married to DH whatever state my left, 4th finger and rings are in.

M0rT · 16/10/2021 08:10

My engagement ring is not a traditional diamond ring and before I got married and wore the wedding ring with it a lot of people didn't realise I was engaged.
All the people who did were women.
So I wouldn't let potential dates being turned off be a factor!
Wear it if you love it.

gofg · 16/10/2021 08:12

I’d wear it definitely and I think an ‘engagement finger’ is a load of rubbish. We are in the 20th century not olden days when you signal that you are betrothed! Wear what you like!

I agree. I have a couple of rings which only fit my "engagement finger" and I wear them - why shouldn't I? You love the ring OP, so flaunt it.

madisonbridges · 16/10/2021 08:14

I never knew women were so precious about their ring finger! And about other women's ring fingers. And being so worried about confusing poor men.

Starryskiesinthesky · 16/10/2021 08:16

@madisonbridges

I never knew women were so precious about their ring finger! And about other women's ring fingers. And being so worried about confusing poor men.
Exactly!