Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

WIBU to casually wear my old engagement ring?

47 replies

Hummmph · 16/10/2021 07:16

Perhaps a silly question; the answer is, I can do what I want, of course. I know it's anot the done thing, but I want people's opinions on this generally.

ExH and I have been separated and divorced for about two years now. When we got engaged many years back, he took me to pick my perfect ring, and I did. I did not go for the traditional single diamond, but instead picked a white gold beauty, which sported a deep blue sapphire as its main gem.

I have since acquired a few more pieces of sapphire jewellery and generally tend to match my jewellery and my clothes. I really miss that ring for its beauty and the sentimental attachment to it has long passed for me. I cannot generally wear shop-bought rings; my fingers are so tiny all rings have to be adjusted.

So, would it be completely weird to start wearing this ring as part of my everyday jewellery? And would it be off-putting for potential new men in my life?

OP posts:

TheViewFromTheCheapSeats · 16/10/2021 08:19

I’d probably wear it on my middle finger or other hand and resize, not so much for others but because it would make me feel less like it had a certain history.

I wear an old ring given to me. We were young, he was a pleasant person and we just drifted as we grew into adults. No hard feelings to be had and I know he was generous and would be happy for me to wear the ring. It’s still a happy ring and a memory, no negative feelings attached to it. If I wear it I wear on my left - though simply because I now have a full ‘ring finger’ (we wear rings on the other hand culturally, so maybe people have confused it, I don’t care. It’s about my feelings. Go with yours)

Pedalpushers · 16/10/2021 08:26

If you're looking to casually meet someone, in my experience men notice if you've got an engagement ring on and treat you as off limits.

oakleydo · 16/10/2021 08:33

Wear it. Surely your left and right hands are not dramatically different

It probably feels wring but youll get used to it

gogohm · 16/10/2021 08:35

I would get it resized for middle right finger

madisonbridges · 16/10/2021 08:36

@Pedalpushers

If you're looking to casually meet someone, in my experience men notice if you've got an engagement ring on and treat you as off limits.

Not according to most threads on MN. Isn't the general opinion men will chase and shag anyone?

bedbathandbeyond · 16/10/2021 08:39

No I wouldn't on your engagement finger, so get it resized to fit on your other hand.

ChorizoJacketPotato · 16/10/2021 08:40

I worked with someone who still wore their weddings rings. She just wore them on her right hand post divorce.

AlexaShutUp · 16/10/2021 08:40

@Starryskiesinthesky

I’d wear it definitely and I think an ‘engagement finger’ is a load of rubbish. We are in the 20th century not olden days when you signal that you are betrothed! Wear what you like!

This.

It's just a ring. On a finger. Wear whatever you like.

I'm not very traditional about these things though, don't ever wear my wedding ring!

Maray1967 · 16/10/2021 08:42

Take it to a good jewellers, the type that design and alter, so not a high street chain, and get it resized. I’ve just had my engagement and wedding rings done - sadly because they were too tight. Both are 18 carat yellow gold. I paid £45 for the wedding ring and £75 for the engagement as that one had to have more gold added to stretch it. I’m in Liverpool. Stephen Jones jewellers in town are brilliant but any city will have an independent jewellers who alter and make jewellery. I’d rather take it there than beaverbrooks, but it might be that beaverbrooks offer the service.

SoupDragon · 16/10/2021 08:45

I’m surprised exH didn’t ask for it back.

Why? It is her ring.

I would get it resized to wear on my right hand - it's probably only half a size bigger anyway.

That said, I'm currently wearing my mum's wedding ring on my left hand as it's the only finger it fits. I have had to explain to friends that I've not secretly got married 😂

And would it be off-putting for potential new men in my life?

I think it might put off a casual encounter from approaching you in the same way you might not chat up a man wearing a ring on that finger unless you already knew he wasn't married.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 16/10/2021 08:51

I wouldn't wear it on the left ring finger.

If it fits that finger it can definitely be adjusted to fit your right ring finger (if adjustment is really needed).

Hmmph · 16/10/2021 08:54

People (everyone who notices, not just potential partners) will assume you are engaged.
On finding out you are single, they will assume that there is either a sad story involved, you are slightly dim and don’t realise it’s your ring finger or that you are a stalker hung up on your ex.
If I were a potential partner, I would assume you hadn’t moved on from your ex.

You can wear it of course, but people will think/assume the above. So it’s up to you whether you are happy if people think like that.

userchange987 · 16/10/2021 08:56

I'd get it resized for a different finger.

clockover · 16/10/2021 09:03

It's just a ring and you can wear it on whichever finger you like. Having it on the 'engagement' finger won't make you engaged just as my choice not to wear rings doesn't make me any less married.

MushMonster · 16/10/2021 09:06

Adjust it to match other finger, if it is gold, it will be easy peasy.
I would not wear it on my left hand.

AdamandMadam · 16/10/2021 09:10

@Starryskiesinthesky

I’d wear it definitely and I think an ‘engagement finger’ is a load of rubbish. We are in the 20th century not olden days when you signal that you are betrothed! Wear what you like!

Unless this is a zombie thread, surely we’re in the 21st Century?

Anyway, wear on any finger it fits or have it resized for a different finger. Or you could have it remodelled into a pendant?

TillyTopper · 16/10/2021 09:17

I think getting it resized to another finger would be best. You could put off guys if they think you are engaged (assuming you don't mind seeing other guys). Additionally, I think people could talk as it could look like you haven't got over your ex. "She still wears her ring" type thing.

starfishmummy · 16/10/2021 09:18

I'd probably go for remodelling. But then my former engagement ring is very dated in style.

GinIronic · 16/10/2021 09:24

Wear it on your ring finger. Jewellery should be worn and not kept in a drawer. As for putting men off - what century do we live in? Do women need to display their availability? No.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 16/10/2021 09:29

@GinIronic

Wear it on your ring finger. Jewellery should be worn and not kept in a drawer. As for putting men off - what century do we live in? Do women need to display their availability? No.

I was coming on to say this!. I wear a plain chunky ring on my ring finger on my left hand because I like the ring and wear another ring on my right hand ring finger. I'm neither married nor want to be! I don't honestly care what anyone else thinks.

Wear your ring and enjoy it!

Chickychickydodah · 16/10/2021 09:29

Fine on another finger, get it resized?

This ⬆️

Hoorayhenryyah · 16/10/2021 09:29

Get it resized and wear it on a different finger. Or have it redesigned using the metal and stones so it isn’t exactly the same as your engagement ring. Size isn’t an issue, rings can be made in all sizes no matter if your size is big or small. I also have small sized fingers and it’s never been an issue

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread