If you were 25 what would you do …

[djsikswk]

Not really an AIBU as such but anyway.

If you were a 25 year old living with friends with a good job and good friends (albeit friends often busy T weekends with family and friends) what would you do ?

Would you prioritise dating (as in reject offers for dinner with good friends for dinner for online dates) ? Would you feel like the clock was ticking etc

Clock ticking? At 25?

No. Go out and see your friends. If the dude is worth it then you can rearrange.

I would live a balanced, happy life. Spend time with friends and have fun dating, it doesn't have to be an "either/or" situation.

No. I was living a life like this at 25 and I prioritised friends and my career. I’m now 32, I don’t regret it.

I would do whichever I had originally planned, and try to make arrangements to suit with the other person/people

Thanks all just feeling a bit down I guess

My dad in particular is very much set and makes lots of comments about expecting grandkids of me soon , I’m also 25 and never been in a relationship so I guess feel like a massive failure on that Brit.

I do want kids of course but I also am enjoying living with friends in London right now - just don’t want to feel like I’ve lost the boat.

Sometimes I feel like the odd one out and should be focussing on finding a man right now or something

@TedMullins are you happy now ? Every birthday I cry about how old I’m getting and yet to be in a relationship / have kids GOD THAT SOUNDS SAD

None of my friends are even close to getting pregnant so not sure why it upsets me so much

Crikey at 25 I hadn't even thought of looking for the children boat. P,entry of time for that - and don't live your life to suit your parents. They had their lif3 and lived it their way - now it's your time to live it your way.

And you need to separate out 'being in a relationship' and 'getting pregnant'. You'll scare people off if you don't 😂

Yes, I’m very happy. I don’t want kids so that’s not a concern for me but I’ve been living alone for the past 2 years and feel I’ve really come into my own and developed into the best version of myself, I’m comfortable with who I am and sure of myself in a way I wasn’t at 25, and that is largely down to the fact that I’ve lived life on my terms without having to consider a partner. I’ve had some disastrous dating experiences and mental health issues along the way but the MH stuff is now well managed and I’m glad I’m not stuck in a toxic relationship with any of the people I dated over the past few years. I have actually just started dating someone but I’ve made it very clear I’m not interested in marriage and I’m in no hurry to move in with anyone or even be exclusive. It’s fantastic. I only have myself to answer to (and my dog, that’s about as much responsibility for another living being as I want!)

Sorry yes do not worry the issue is much more I don’t really go on dates because I would rather hang out with my friends ( I think maybe 3 dates in the past 2 years) versus telling a date on the first date I want babies 😂

Oh stop. Please just stop!!! You're 25!! It's literally the prime of your life. It doesn't get any better. Prioritise friendships that make you happy, enjoy your life as much as you can. Travel, progress in your chosen career. If a man complements your lifestyle enjoy him but don't waste your time "searching" desperately for him. Friendships are very important dont lose them just find a balance. At this point just be in the moment, don't look beyond it, embrace it. Be spontaneous, take risks (not too crazy though!) don't worry about the future just go with the flow. I'm a decade ahead of you and he the same angsts and it was such a waste of energy!

Travel
Focus on me and my future not him and his career
Learn to write for film
Be happy!

oh to be 25 again...

Tell your Dad to knock it off.
He doesn't get to tell you how to live your life - but if he does, you don't have to take any notice of him.

At 25 I had a 10-year-old dd 😂😂

Do what makes you happy.

Hah.. I was dodging rings at 25. Have fun, be with friends, meet people, Go on dates, have no expectations!

If you want reassurance, I met my DH of 16 years (and going strong) at a chance encounter when I went out with friends. (Psst…. That’s how people used to meet in the olden days!).

I honestly feel for anyone dating in the modern world… yes, meeting people in person through friends, at parties, and at bars was not always ideal, but it seems so much more relaxed than internet and matching and all of that.

In other words, enjoy yourself and where you are right now, all the rest will come when it’s supposed to.

Aww I wish I could give you a big (non-patronising) hug ! Dads and Mums (and Grandparents, rellys, and in fact anyone who feels they can get away with it) say this stuff without thinking, and they really do not understand the impact it can have on you. Sometimes they say it because they are clumsy, but in their heads, they will be well meaning, "offering life advice" making small talk, and maybe it is because that's what they did in their time. You are doing exactly the right thing for you, and you should keep doing it. If you just enjoy yourself with your friends, everything will fall into place. I know it can be hard when it comes to expectations from your Dad, but bat the comments away with a few non-committal kind words, and don't overthink it. I had my last child at 39 there is plenty of time. xxx

Meet the online dates for lunch or afternoon coffee.
Try to meet new people when out with your friends.

@djsikswk

Thanks all just feeling a bit down I guess

My dad in particular is very much set and makes lots of comments about expecting grandkids of me soon , I’m also 25 and never been in a relationship so I guess feel like a massive failure on that Brit.

I do want kids of course but I also am enjoying living with friends in London right now - just don’t want to feel like I’ve lost the boat.

Sometimes I feel like the odd one out and should be focussing on finding a man right now or something

Jeez. Just live your life girl. You will be here (30s) in no time at all. Everything will come!

Pregnant and married at 21.
If I could do it again I’d wait until my 30s.
Your 20s are for being wild and having fun and living life. Date if you want, say no if you want. You do what makes you happy.

@djsikswk I think you are asking because you are wondering what other people have or are doing with their 25 year old self. This is irrelevant. Do not compare yourself to what others have done or your father's expectations.

Question is: OP, what do you want?

Never allow anyone to shape your life or do things to please others.

The most valuable thing you can give anyone in this life is your time because you can never get it back.

Live your life on your terms you will not regret it. Be happy

At 25? If I could go back in time, all I would do is have fun and enjoy the lack of responsibilities! Relax op. It’s not 1950 anymore, you’re not supposed to be married with kids before 27 anymore.

Your Dad is from a different era. Where they thought a woman needed to be married.

Times have changed, thank goodness, so enjoy your life, friends and freedom.

If you have a very close male friend you could always pretend he's your BF just to stop your dad from banging on and making you feel like this. He's just old fashioned that's all and there's probably not much you can say or do to change it.

25? Money living with friends?

I'd do whatever I wanted! And have a total blast

Is your dad from the North? Women have kids on average 10 years later in London than the north

www.madeformums.com/news/north-south-divide-in-mothers-age/

Might just have a different perspective on what is normal