Anyone else find swimming with young children should be pleasurable but it's not?

[Needspace21]

Just been swimming, just me and dcs. One is 6 and one is 9. It started off all fun and games but by the end I felt really ratty and regattably snapped at my eldest over a little thing, essentially undermining the time and effort I spent on the trip...

Reasons:

1)they get a bit silly and over excited and don't listen. The youngest thinks he can swim but he can't. He's constantly wriggling away from me then swallowing gulps of water before I grab him again.

2)they don't listen when we move to a different part of the pool and I stand like a lemon waiting for them.

3)in the showers afterward they both get soap in their eyes... Again. One tries to run off.

4. the eldest was wringing out his wet costume dramatically in the cubicle, almost covering me and the youngest with water. I told him to stop and he did it again.

Number 4 is what triggered me. I regretfully told them I was never taking them again. Now I feel bad.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds swimming should be fun but is actually tedious. Feel like a bad mom.

Swimming with kids is an absolutely thankless activity. Yanbu.

It's bad enough taking them for lessons when you don't get in. I wouldn't take 2 of them on my own.

Yes. My child is only 19 months, granted, but I anticipate fun and instead it's just tantrums and whinging

Hmm, not just me then. Yes I think taking them with another adult would be better, but I thought I could manage with them.being a bit older.

Also, you can’t actually do any swimming yourself until all children can swim very well and are old enough to be left - not sure how old that is, mine are 9 and 7 and no way could I leave them alone for a moment! The 7 yo can swim a bit but like yours thinks he’s much better than he is. The 9 yo probably wouldn’t do anything silly but she still needs watching and encouraging. Maybe I could go and do the odd length by the time they’re 11 and 13? God knows. I love swimming. I loathe bobbing about supervising. Then factor in silliness in the changing rooms and needing to get out multiple times to go to the loo…

Swimming with kids is dreadful. I only do it as it’s a ‘life skill’ - utterly miserable

Would the 9 year old go in a cubicle by himself? Better still, would the two of them go in a cubicle together, leaving you to get changed alone?

Get them 1:1 lessons. By 9 they should be reasonably confident and safe in the water. Most 9 year olds can swim a few lengths/jump in the deep end etc. Put floaties on the 6 year when swimming alone with them to ease the pressure off off you. The more you do it with them the more they get in the routine. Pools can be very loud and overwhelming. Go over the rules before the before etc.

You need a pool where the 6yo can touch the bottom. He isnt going to learn to swim if he is being held by you in a deep pool.

If you drive to the pool, dont bother with showers and changing. Get them to shake off the excess in the shower bit, quick rub over with a microfiber towel, then zip then straight into fleece onesies and a shove a pair of crocs on (or aldi knock offs like we have). Into the car and home.

Oh no you need to manage expectations! Swimming with kids is not fun AT ALL

@TooExtraImmatureCheddar ah yes. You are right. You can't actually swim yourself. My knees were rigid from the fixed position of trying to keep myself semi submerged in the shallows as I watched them try to dive bomb each other and do back flips under water whilst the wave machine was on or drag them the right way around the lazy river when they insisted holding onto the vents.

@Pices yes the 9 year old can swim fine. The youngest is still learning not helped by the last 18 months of lockdown which stopped his lessons. @CareerConcerns1999 it's more like a leisure pool with slides and waves and stuff. He refuses to stay in the shallows. Over confident!

It’s an absolute horror. Where did you get the notion it would be fun?

@thelegohooverer I hadn't been for ages. I forgot how not fun it would be .

Good idea by a pp to put the 9 year old in his own cubicle if I ever dare to go again.

Agree with the PP who said it was miserable. Yes to all of that. Lessons similarly grim, but luckily mine are older now and I can watch on the side/sit in the car...

@pinksquash13

Yes. My child is only 19 months, granted, but I anticipate fun and instead it's just tantrums and whinging

My three-year-old goes to weekly group lessons at a local leisure centre. It costs me about £25 a month. She loves it and is firm friends with one of the other children. There are lessons for older kids as well.

The parents get to sit in the viewing area and chat while watching the lesson. It’s pretty relaxing - I recommend it.

Oops, I didn’t mean to quote your post @pinksquash13

I took my 2 DCs alone for the first time over the summer holidays, and it was (mostly) a pleasant experience: I was surprised! Even going with DH and taking a DC each used to be a nightmare as they were super confident but without the skills to match it, both had a complete refusal to wear any kind of flotation device, and neither were willing to stay in the shallow teaching pool. The crucial difference this summer was that they can now both swim to a greater or lesser extent; there is no way I would have taken them alone before this point. DD1 is on level 6, so I no longer feel I need to be within a few quick arm strokes of her, and she is free to zoom up and down the pool with light supervision (obviously there are lifeguards too keeping an eye). DD2 is on level 4 so is able to swim confidently without sinking. She is not strong enough to trust her to be any real distance from me just in case, but I am no longer needing to fish out drowning DCs every 5 minutes. I can play games with them/teach fun stuff like diving, which makes the whole thing a much nicer experience.
My biggest issue is getting them out of the showers at the end 😩

Let's be honest, most things that we take kids to do that we think will be great, and the will have loads of fun turn into an utter shit show with whinging, and arguing and stress 🤣

@Needspace21

Hmm, not just me then. Yes I think taking them with another adult would be better, but I thought I could manage with them.being a bit older.

TLDR my previous message: it's got more to do with DC's swimming ability than age, basically.

I always take another mum to chat to and generally help. I only have one dc so it means he gets a friend to play with too but mainly it’s for me. :)

It was really awful when mine were little, fun when they were older and could play on their own. When they were little they kept grabbing the front of my swimsuit, dragging it down so I kept having to pull it up to avoid boob-flash.

I detested it in the public pool - one invincible toddler who had the speed of Bolt, a pathological hatred of armbands and the floating ability of a breeze block and one child who was convinced that a splash of water above the elbows meant she would die. It used to be fine when the ex was still around and would come on condition he got to use the diving pool for half an hour, but as soon as he found something someone better to do, he'd deliberately go to another leisure centre and then say he'd already been that week.

I took out a private gym membership where they had a tiny pool that children were allowed in on Saturday mornings. It had a low ceiling, more subdued lighting/lower noise levels and, most importantly, was free of other children, men attempting to emulate Ian Thorpe or performatively hurling their offspring across the baby pool and it was too shallow for bombing if one did turn up.

The eldest finally learned to swim in there, having consistently spent every single proper lesson I'd paid for or was offered at school reluctantly agreeing to sit on the side and occasionally putting her feet in the water, and the little one, well, she still hurled herself around, but she was never more than a quick glide away to get fished out by the straps. Not one issue with behaviour in there - although the fact we walked past a baker's that did hot sausage rolls on the way home possibly provided a further incentive for them to look forward to 7.30am swimming sessions every Saturday morning.

I think the large, noisy, splashy pool environment was overstimulating and scary for mine. Could a quiet pool like that be an option for you?

@Thatsplentyjack haha too right! That's made me laugh.

Bloody hideous shit show generally sums it up!

@FictionalCharacter that sounds about right! I had the eldest grabbing the back of my costume to pull himself along, whilst the youngest kicked against my groin repeatedly the way you would push against a wall to get momentum as you swim off. Ouch!