Anyone else find swimming with young children should be pleasurable but it's not?

[Needspace21]

Just been swimming, just me and dcs. One is 6 and one is 9. It started off all fun and games but by the end I felt really ratty and regattably snapped at my eldest over a little thing, essentially undermining the time and effort I spent on the trip...

Reasons:

1)they get a bit silly and over excited and don't listen. The youngest thinks he can swim but he can't. He's constantly wriggling away from me then swallowing gulps of water before I grab him again.

2)they don't listen when we move to a different part of the pool and I stand like a lemon waiting for them.

3)in the showers afterward they both get soap in their eyes... Again. One tries to run off.

4. the eldest was wringing out his wet costume dramatically in the cubicle, almost covering me and the youngest with water. I told him to stop and he did it again.

Number 4 is what triggered me. I regretfully told them I was never taking them again. Now I feel bad.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds swimming should be fun but is actually tedious. Feel like a bad mom.

I went swimming on my own recently and couldn't believe how easy it was, compared to going with children.

I don't expect it to be fun. I enjoyed it when ds was little because he does love being in water and if he got upset we could carry him off. He is 15 now ( with severe autism) and even with 2 of us it isn't safe. He would need sole use of the pool and even then it could all go wrong. He loves going with school though but they sometimes need 3 staff to manage him.

I hated it, absolutely every freezing second of it. I had 6- 8 and under and in those days they wasn’t the cap on numbers, at least not when they were all very young. Squeezing into a family changing room trying to get them all dressed again was hell.
If ever I have grandchildren I am never taking them swimming.
I remember my mum saying the same thing to me, that she would be happy to do all sorts with them but never to ask her to go swimming!

YANBU!

My youngest uses me as a climbing wall and is constantly scrabbling up me or kicking off me while DD2 is either off thinking she can swim (so I’m trying to race after her while juggling a child clinging to my face) or trying to climb on my back too. I get really touched out really quickly.

Also bobbing about in the water means you get really really cold. The kids are fine as they are so active. I’m always freezing. It would be fine if I could actually do a few lengths to warm up! And DH being there is no help whatsoever since the children refuse to go near him 🙄

We are going to Center parcs at half term. Lots of “swimming” to come!

I generally find that no activity with young kids can be described as pleasurable. Even if they’re being little angels, I’m constantly on edge, waiting for one of them to kick off over something minor. That’s my kids, anyway
Expect the worst and you might get a pleasant surprise haha!

I have three kids as soon as they were old enough (4 onwards) I would put the three of them in a cubicle get them naked, layout their clothes and leave them to it I would then get myself ready. They would then get dressed as much as they could. I would help the littlest one and usually the older ones were sorted.
Swimming lesson day was the shitest day of the week

it's the worst.
I strongly dislike swimming anyway, but swimming with kids means you have all of the downsides but get zero exercise benefits.

As soon as mine reached the age where they can go in independently (10 locally) I opted to sit in the cafe with a brew and a book. I love it now .

I strongly dislike swimming anyway, but swimming with kids means you have all of the downsides but get zero exercise benefits.

Yup. Just about sums it up. Wet hair, wet clothes, damp swim bags, 10 minutes spent wriggling back into damp jeans while my 3yo gives a running commentary. "Mummy, why do you have flowers on your pants? Mummy, why are you taking so long? Can I open the door now? "NO!".

All for about 10 calories burned. And that small gain is totally destroyed by sharing a cake bar in the cafe because it's pissing it down outside and I can't face waiting in the rain for the bus home.

Any activity with young children I deem to be an absolute shit show. 😫

Always starts with the best intentions but most of the time it’s fighting, whinging, running after a bolter, having to watch them like a hawk which is just the opposite of enjoyable 😂

it is really stressful and once when we got there they messed around so much (probably 4 and 5 years old) i just got them dressed and took them home again.

But generally, it was great and we could take plastic tea sets and play, and we used to play being sharks and so on. Having said that from what i have seen German pools are more relaxed, and there was no time constraint.

It does get better when they can swim independently, i used to put them in the junior pool and swim lengths in the big pool, but it took years until we got that far.

There's lots of things with young children that should be fun but it's not. Baking, especially....

They honestly won't really remember you getting cross at them. They'll remember how much fun it was, even if it wasn't so much for you!

Definitely recommend lessons so that yours can swim

Wren they can't swim , it's not swimming with your children, it's babysitting in lukewarm water.

You're the climbing frame , the boat, the diving off board and the lifesaver.

It's good though if you can manage your own expectations that you'll be hearing water monkeys that are trying to drown themselves constantly .

Strongly suggest that 9 year old gets his own changing room if you're trying to change in those tiny cupboards. Three in one is a challenge, (my DS changed on his own aged 7 upwards as he takes up a lot of room) . No one washed their hair in pool showers if we were going home afterwards- quick rinse of hair, tracksuits back on and home to shower in comfort.

I meant

• herding water monkeys that are trying to drown themselves

Well done you for attempting it at a ‘fun’ pool! I enjoy swimming with my kids, but only because the pool we have has no bells and whistles, and we only go with two adults, or I go one-to-one with my youngest. I think you did a good thing, but maybe take a friend/partner/family member next time?

@WhereIsMumHiding3 as mentioned upthread, the 9 year old can swim, but the 6 year old can't. Unfortunately the lessons stopped for quite a while during lockdown.

The only part I hate is being cold, it’s a bit dull being unable to do anything but watch them but other than that I’ve never experienced anything quite so awful, before lockdown we went quite often and have done since they were tiny. Same age gap as you have and only the eldest can swim.
I do find most activities for children quite uninteresting though, days are theme parks, Harry Potter studios, the park, soft play, trampolining all boring AF.

Are swimming lessons an option? I have a nearly 3yo and a 4yo and since the 4yo has started swimming lessons and has gained water confidence and gotten used to changing after swimming it is now enjoyable to go. He has been going since March and can swim short lengths but most importantly no longer overestimate his ability x

I grew up in Australia, a lot of the houses with kids we lived near had pools in the back, so did ours.. We all still went to swimming lessons. Every long school holidays for a few years we would go for a couple of hours a day for a week. The government held them at big pools or on the beach - Vacation swim.

Even today living in the UK and having not swum more than 5 times in 20 years. I can still swim better than most people. It is just basic safety over there that everyone can swim. We should do it here.

I'm confused as to what you anticipated? If you wanted to sit and read, try a splash park when it warms up next year.

I think it's important but wouldn't imagine it's going to be fun. Take the fun expectation away and have a nice hot chocolate afterwards for the enjoyment element!

@Barbie222 not sitting and reading of course. Just a mildly enjoyable time in the water

I HATED HATED HATED it with mine when they were small ….until we joined a pricey health club. My god, it was fantastic there. A gloriously warm and safe baby pool with water fountains and little slides, lovely showers, underfloor heating, a spinny thing for drying the costumes, enormous lockers, a cafe with a little soft play for after the swim. It made the whole thing bearable and actually turned out good value as I took them all the time. I paid for about three years instead of going on holiday. Sounds a bit mad but they loved it as tots and it kept me sane. They ended up good swimmers too as we used to go so much.

Was awful when they were little I agree.

Have found it’s ok now - my youngest is 7 and it’s started to be pleasurable again.

I think at 9 going in his own cubicle is a good idea.

A shortie wetsuit was a game changer and helped a lot with the getting cold. I also grab a noodle and use that to keep moving and warm.

My main issue is just that they have such a great time but have no spatial awareness of splashing/ getting in peoples' way. DS1 has dyspraxia and autism which is a lot to do with it. It also means on lesson nights, I end up getting drenched showering him or he'd only have two spots washed on his head.

We had a phase of fitting in a casual swim between awkwardly spaced swimming lessons which also timed with DS1 getting confident at lengths with school. There was one evening he was a bit tired for lengths and sent me off to swim while he bobbed around in the shallow pool. He was 9

Casual swims are fun for the children and far from relaxing, but they do really enjoy it (and far less aggro than crafts or baking)

Yeah it's thankless. Me and DH took the kids to their lessons today, that's bloody hard work and we don't even go in the pool