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Original poster

To ask for recommendations for last ever holiday?

71 replies

holoptions · 14/10/2021 20:28

Posting here for traffic.

My dad has stage 4 cancer, and we've been told this week his life expectancy is reduced now to 6-12 months. Could be more, could be less.

I really just want us to spend as much time as we can as a family, but I feel so overwhelmed with the news I can't think. Can anyone recommend an idea for a week-long break, perhaps for November or Christmas, that won't be too expensive - - and won't be too risky in terms of covid? We're not constrained by school holidays.

My mum also died from cancer last year. She was ill during the peak of the pandemic so we could arrange anything. I really want it to be different this time.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 14/10/2021 20:45

What about a log cabin or a lodge somewhere might be nice to go have a few days together. I'm sorry you are going through thisFlowers

LubaLuca · 14/10/2021 20:47

Accommodation with a view so there's no need to go out looking for distractions if you don't feel like it, preferably in an area with special memories, is what I would encourage my parents to consider for a last hurrah. It's such a sad time for you, I am sorry.

Charley50 · 14/10/2021 20:49

You need to speak to him. He might not want to go anywhere right now, or he might have a yearning to go to Cornwall or Venice. I agree that it's possibly unwise to think about leaving the country. He might just want to be cosy and around family.

HangingOver · 14/10/2021 20:52

I'd rent a nice house near the sea and a country pub and near a big hospital. My DM used to get anxious about being too far from a hospital when she was in his position. So sorry OP.

SorryPardonWhat · 14/10/2021 20:58

Armathwaite Hall - beautiful hotel on Bassenthwaite, luxury spa, you can just sit in the hot tub and talk and enjoy the view. Or a lodge on Ullswater. No travelling abroad stress.

Lemons1571 · 14/10/2021 20:59

The only thing i’d add is to go soon. Next week if you can. He might not be up to it in a month’s time.

Tal45 · 14/10/2021 21:07

If I could go anywhere in the UK for a break I'd go to Snowdonia, absolutely stunning. A gorgeous hotel with great views of the mountains perhaps or Pale Hall if I could afford it! It depends where you are though, he probably won't want a really long car journey.

GoingOutOutNEVER · 14/10/2021 21:17

I’d ask him if he wanted to go away. I mean this nicely bur my dads last few months with terminal cancer where so bad for him, he slept a lot and all he wanted was to be at home and not in pain.

FortniteBoysMum · 14/10/2021 21:19

I'm so sorry your going through this. Before you make a decision you should also factor in that medical insurance will be expensive. You will need to be aware of medical facilities near by and if the worst was to happen would coverage include costs of flying your dad home. Ask him where he would like to go. Did he and your mum have a special place or somewhere they wanted to travel.

GoodnightGrandma · 14/10/2021 21:21

I wouldn’t wait until Xmas. You need to go now if you’re going to do it.
Personally I wouldn’t do it, it could be too much for him. It’s alright to want to go, but the travelling really could be too much.
However if you do go, don’t go too far in case he wants to go home.

Bouledeneige · 14/10/2021 21:24

So sorry OP.

I've spent a bit of time with my friend with terminal cancer in a place she feels at one with - Suffolk. She has been abroad but I think she takes most pleasure out of being in Britain in her best place.

geekchicz · 14/10/2021 21:25

North Norfolk

Up to a flight and a very simple gentle ferry crossing ( 30 mins) ? Greece -flight 3 and half hours Kos - get the ferry to Kalymnos - still open for the October climbers season and watch the sun go down over the bay to Telendos .x

RainRainRainAgain · 14/10/2021 21:29

I lost my dad earlier this year, cancer. By the time he was diagnosed 2.5 years ago he was too ill to travel anywhere really even in the UK. I'd have loved to have taken him one last time to the place he loved.... but at the same time I know it would have upset him, knowing it was his last visit.

Only you know your dad's frame of mind, is there somewhere he loves that he would want to go back to for one last time? Or maybe somewhere in the UK he's never visited that he'd love to see (this would have been better for my dad, if he'd been able to travel, he'd have not felt sad).

Whatever you decide, cherish these months, they're so important to all of you Flowers

HollaHolla · 14/10/2021 21:30

When my uncle was in that position, we had an extended family holiday to Galloway, on the Solway Firth. It holds a special place in our family’s hearts, and is only 2.5/3 hours away from most of us.
We got two lodges (numbers) next to each other, and it meant he could go for a sleep if he wanted. We went out and about a bit - the more fit ones went on a hike; the rest of us for a walk at the beach, and a scone.
The place we went was part of a development with a pub/restaurant, so we went for dinner one night, and ate in on the others.
It was more important to have a nice time as a family, and in somewhere lovely. We could travel by car, and keep him as comfortable as possible.

So sorry to hear about your dad. Sending love. Xx

Flufferty · 14/10/2021 21:32

Maybe a lovely cottages on the coast with a view of the sea.

Clymene · 14/10/2021 21:36

www.holidaycottages.co.uk/cottage/26244-sandy-bay-bungalow

£520 for a week in November. I just googled accessible holiday on beach.

Watching the sea from your window is brilliant, especially at this time of year.

I'm so sorry

meadowbleu · 14/10/2021 21:37

I wouldn't look to go abroad. As per a PP a nice lodge by a lake with a view, or if you could find a suitable one, a canal boat maybe? but it'd need to have some comfort for him, he may need to rest a lot.

What are his interests? countryside, wildlife, seaside, or is he more a town and museum or gallery type of person? Is there anything at all like that he might have missed out on up till now?

Dahlietta · 14/10/2021 21:41

Honestly, I bet he would love to spend time with you, but I think the location is not necessarily as important so long as it is chilled. I would go with somewhere in the UK with access to something he likes doing if he's feeling up to it, but nice scenery, perhaps a nice pub if he isn't.

Thatwaslulu · 14/10/2021 21:43

We went to Garmisch-Partenkirchen in Germany for DH's last holiday, 6 weeks before he died. It was one of the most picturesque places I've ever been. He loved Germany, it was one of his favourite places, and the whole family went. He was able to go up to the top of mountains on the train that goes up there and watch DS tobogganing, and sit drinking mulled wine in the apres-ski chalet. We had really chilled days and we have wonderful memories of that holiday. It was really snowy though. We couldn't get insurance for him (although he passed his fit to fly test) so we risked it without insurance and it worked out fine luckily. Not sure whether I would risk it now though with Covid Sad

gogohm · 14/10/2021 21:45

Where did he go as a child? Blackpool, Torquay, Skegness? Depends usually on where you grew up back then. A trip down memory lane might be good.

Devon seafront hotels are often good for reduced mobility, and rent a wheelchair or scooter that fits in the car. You will need to wrap up but shouldn't be busy and plenty will be open because people live year round

Fusillage · 14/10/2021 21:47

Tbh we planned all of the same things with my father (including a weekend abroad), he nodded along and we never got there. I don’t mean to put even worse ideas in your head but, the here and the now is what matters. Hold his hand, have dinner with him - go out if you can and if he’s up to it deffo the weekend in the country with the log fire etc. But treasure what you have - have been there and it so hard but just being there is as good as anything.

Original poster
holoptions · 14/10/2021 21:48

Thank you everyone for all of your suggestions Flowers

I'm feeling pretty shattered after today, but I'm going to read through everything in the morning. I've already seen some excellent ideas that my dad and I can discuss.

Thank you all again

OP posts:
LastToBePicked · 14/10/2021 21:48

A relative of mine has a similar prognosis but other than fatigue has been well enough for a number of (not too strenuous) trips away, meals out, short country walks etc. She’s very much trying to do as much as she can in the time remaining.

I know not all are fortunate enough to have so much health in their last months but it sounds like OP’s dad may be more able to enjoy a trip away.

It’s either got to be somewhere ‘bucket list’ or somewhere with memories I think, but you know best where that might be.

gogohm · 14/10/2021 21:48

Another thought if he is interested in cruises is a U.K. based cruise - there's some good deals available, worth speaking directly to the company to ask about insurance though, the one I'm going on is insisting on insurance

notanothertakeaway · 14/10/2021 21:50

Where did he live as a child? Or as a young adult? Or where you went on childhood family holidays?

Safer to stay in UK, and near a hospital

But I would check if he actually would like to go away . He may prefer to stay at home and have life as normal as possible