New job is making me stand in front of the entire department and say a 'fun fact' about myself - AIBU?

[thisisnotforme]

I started a new job recently, I've mainly been working remotely so have only met a handful of colleagues.

There is a big departmental in-person meeting next week, I am already dreading going to it because I'm really nervous to meet people in real life, even though I have been speaking to them on Teams I'm still nervous.

Today I got an email that they are going to use that meeting to introduce me to the team and they want to stand up in front of everyone and say a fun fact about myself.

I'm really shy and this is literally my worst nightmare.

@CatonMat

I'm not an introvert, I just think it's a pointless load of old bollocks.

Me too. Neither shy nor introverted, but absolutely hate this sort of crap and thought it had died out years ago

I suppose it could be worse, you could be made to play a game of Twister at your group induction day like i had to...
(Shudders at the memory)

I think corporate culture has become more toxic and conformist in this regard. What’s wrong with trying to make new people feel ‘at home’ in a way that’s right for them? Anyone in a management position must realise this sort of thing is anathema for some people and should be flexible in their approach.

It’s the insistence on the newbie/victim coming up with something that’s ‘fun’ in public that’s the stealth manoeuvre here. The rot set in with Reality TV shows ( Big Brother, the X-factor etc) in which you were ‘out’ if you were dull and boring and ‘in’ if you had a big, bold personality and could sparkle.

Now people in real life expect you to ‘amuse’ them too. In the old days, low key friendliness whilst introducing yourself/being introduced in a non-staged, spontaneous way in combination with job competence was good enough!

I don't know that it's got worse tbh - I remember in the 1990s when there was more money splashing around in many companies in my industry (christmas parties were a thing for example and even Xmas bonuses) - we were constantly being sent on gruesome team building events. Now money's tighter all that bollocks has been binned thank god. I did find company zoom quizzes and zoom drinks a bit cringe but all that's stopped now we're back in the office. It's meant kindly I know but if you're introverted it is really hard.

@GreyhoundG1rl

And if one other participant has something in common with me (same type of job for example), that's great for an introvert because I can talk to them in the breaks and not feel the need to "work the room" like an extrovert... smile But does this sort of info actually emerge during a "fun facts!" session? From this thread it appears to veer towards the "my auntie shagged Tom Jones", "I like raspberry jam on my toast" sort of nonsense. Nothing particularly useful. Except to mark out the obvious loons you'd avoid if possible, maybe.

I wasn't talking about "fun facts", I was addressing a poster who seemed to be against any kind of introduction as a formal part of a training session, which came across as a bit extreme.

@OutwiththeOutCrowd

I think corporate culture has become more toxic and conformist in this regard. What’s wrong with trying to make new people feel ‘at home’ in a way that’s right for them? Anyone in a management position must realise this sort of thing is anathema for some people and should be flexible in their approach.

It’s the insistence on the newbie/victim coming up with something that’s ‘fun’ in public that’s the stealth manoeuvre here. The rot set in with Reality TV shows ( Big Brother, the X-factor etc) in which you were ‘out’ if you were dull and boring and ‘in’ if you had a big, bold personality and could sparkle.

Now people in real life expect you to ‘amuse’ them too. In the old days, low key friendliness whilst introducing yourself/being introduced in a non-staged, spontaneous way in combination with job competence was good enough!

Fully agree with that. It's often not enough just to be who you are, you are almost forced into acting to be something different, as you say, to "entertain" those around you.

Not sure it's recent, though. My first job (as a school leaver) was in a very quiet firm, surrounded by mature/long term staff, and I fitted in really well, got to know the other staff pretty quickly, etc. Looking back it was a lovely environment, no bullying, no hostility, etc., just a group of people doing their own thing. That was nearly 40 years ago.

I left there for career progression and my next firm was totally different - It was one hell of a shock - everyone seemed to be in eachother's pockets, there were groups going out for lunch, others going partying/clubbing every weekend, and they had teams in a local football league and local pub darts/quiz leagues etc. That's absolutely fine for those who want that, but it was hell for the quieter ones like me who didn't. It was a constant barrage of being pestered to go out with them, or join teams, etc. And yes, they were the firm that put me of training courses for life as they kept doing the trendy team building courses. That was 35 years ago. I left after a year as I couldn't take the bullying etc to "fit in" and be one of them! Thankfully, my next job was more like the first - a much quieter, laid back environment where people just went to work to do their job (and did it very well I might add), and only socialised for the Christmas meal - bliss!

@DadDadDad I wasn't talking about "fun facts", I was addressing a poster who seemed to be against any kind of introduction as a formal part of a training session, which came across as a bit extreme.

Every training course I've ever been on has had half an hour or so before the course started when those who want to socialise can do so over light refreshments, etc. It doesn't have to be forced upon you in a formal manner.

Some of you people must be an absolute riot on training courses.

“Shall we all go round the room and say something brief to introduce ourselves?”
“Hi, my name is Sam, and I think being made to introduce myself is a form of torture and you have no right to make me disclose my personal information and I resent being FORCED to SOCIALISE for a whole sentence and you have no right to make me join in your cruel games you extrovert bully.”

@GoldenOmber

Some of you people must be an absolute riot on training courses.

“Shall we all go round the room and say something brief to introduce ourselves?”
“Hi, my name is Sam, and I think being made to introduce myself is a form of torture and you have no right to make me disclose my personal information and I resent being FORCED to SOCIALISE for a whole sentence and you have no right to make me join in your cruel games you extrovert bully.”

Yeah, "My name's Sally and one of my feet is bigger than the other!" (an example from upthread) on the other hand, will really set the room alight. People will flock to Sally like moths to a flame and remember her forever.

[quote user1497207191]**@DadDadDad* I wasn't talking about "fun facts", I was addressing a poster who seemed to be against any kind of introduction as a formal part of a training session, which came across as a bit extreme.*

Every training course I've ever been on has had half an hour or so before the course started when those who want to socialise can do so over light refreshments, etc. It doesn't have to be forced upon you in a formal manner.[/quote]
But that's far worse for certain personalities (including many of us in professions which attract introverts like DadDadDad and I) because it has no structure. If you need to form informal contact networks within a company then being forced to do it by being shoved into a room with a bunch of strangers armed only with a cup of tea and a tiny Danish pastry and left to get on with it is very tough for some people. There's a reason why some professions full of actual introverts/people with ASD are quite keen on organised fun, with the emphasis on organised.

Yeah, "My name's Sally and one of my feet is bigger than the other!" (an example from upthread) on the other hand, will really set the room alight.

It’s a round of introductions. You’re not trying to set the room alight.

@GoldenOmber

Yeah, "My name's Sally and one of my feet is bigger than the other!" (an example from upthread) on the other hand, will really set the room alight.

It’s a round of introductions. You’re not trying to set the room alight.

So why the need for a "fun fact"? Do you normally introduce yourself with a little wacky bio just to make sure the person remembers you (for all the wrong reasons)?

@GoldenOmber

Some of you people must be an absolute riot on training courses.

“Shall we all go round the room and say something brief to introduce ourselves?”
“Hi, my name is Sam, and I think being made to introduce myself is a form of torture and you have no right to make me disclose my personal information and I resent being FORCED to SOCIALISE for a whole sentence and you have no right to make me join in your cruel games you extrovert bully.”

I think the point people are making is that they do participate, even though they'd rather not, and it's irksome. It's a thread about coping mechanisms. Your sarcasm isn't totally off course though. Being "an absolute riot on training courses" has never been a goal.

@GoWalkabout

'hi I'm Sarah, Fun fact, I am really scared of standing up here in front of everyone' you'll get a laugh and can scurry back to your seat, or maybe everyone will be doing it as its a team building. This is a job skill, you have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable to get better at them. Good luck.

This is perfect.

Or make stuff up, I haven’t said a true fun fact since the time I told everyone about my hobby and the rest of the group used it as an opportunity to Willy wave over their academic backgrounds.

they do participate, even though they'd rather not, and it's irksome.

Yes. Me, too. It is a minor annoyance that helps some people remember names and make a few connections. Most people don’t actively enjoy it, most people manage it anyway without really caring much because it is such a minor thing and so standard.

“I have a guinea pig named Barry”, there, you’re done, move on to the next person.

"I can recite Pi to three digits"

It's really intimidating if groups make you nervous like me & you are an introvert. I actually left a course, because at the begining & end of every 2 hour lecture we had to say something. When asked what, we were told "anything , to touch base & get to know each other". People were very confused & mostly stuck to variations on I'm happy to be here. I would come out in a cold sweat every time. I'm doing the sane course online now thank God . When I've been new elsewhere playing a v easy ( child level ) guessing game was better as it was fun & way less pressure .

I cannot believe this sort of thing goes on. We used to have it alot and my lovely ex-line manager's was always that he was arrested for murder! He was (but it wasn't him it was someone who looked exactly like him). That used to shut people up.

I just used to say that I loved shoes (obvious) or that I was raised in a different country. Or you could just make something up!

Fun fact my arse.

In my last job there was a Christmas drinks party where we supplied the food. Halfway through we all sat in a circle and opened our Secret Santa presents while everyone else watched. I fortunately missed the year mgmt thought it would be fun to make each recipient try to guess the giver.

• I knew your username rang a bell!

I've avoided mentioning my profession just to avoid pushing the stereotype that we're all introverts (although many are).

@GoldenOmber

they do participate, even though they'd rather not, and it's irksome.

Yes. Me, too. It is a minor annoyance that helps some people remember names and make a few connections. Most people don’t actively enjoy it, most people manage it anyway without really caring much because it is such a minor thing and so standard.

“I have a guinea pig named Barry”, there, you’re done, move on to the next person.

To be fair, OP was asking for coping mechanisms which suggests it's more than a minor annoyance to her. People have also taken the opportunity to air their grievances with the culture that this stuff creates. My first corporate job out of university at a Big 4 audit firm had a whole day of this stuff. There was a point where they had all of these 20 and 30-somethings in their brand new suits getting on a stage and playing Chinese charades.

Whenever I see any forced fun like this, I think back to the image of a 30- year old PhD, attempting to twerk for the first time in his life, on stage for an audience of his peers for a 26k salary. It's a slippery slope.

I told my team I was going to the toilet and just went home.

I’ve done one thing where the ice-breaker exercise was for us all to do a quiz to sort ourselves into Myers-Briggs personality types, by standing up in the middle of the room then taking a step forward/backward/left/right depending on the answer to questions the trainer read out, from a list about thirty questions long. And then we had to get to know the people who’d been sorted with us and introduce them to the wider group in pairs of our choosing.

Still, at least it wasn’t Twister.

To be fair, OP was asking for coping mechanisms which suggests it's more than a minor annoyance to her.

Yes, OP is not one of the people making a huge fuss about it. The people telling her she should just refuse to do it or say “my name is Emma and I hate doing things like this” are not exactly helping her, are they.

"The thing I missed most about the office during lockdown was the tea and coffee machine"

"I was asked for ID in pubs/clubs/when buying alcohol until the age of 28"

Ha my husband, in meetings where people didn't know each other, he'd say let's go around and each say an interesting fact about ourselves - the difference being everyone did it, no one had to stand, and most people have something interesting (not fun) to reveal. Could be anything from 'I breed chihuahuas as a hobby' to my husband's 'I used to be a child model'. It just gave an insight into people who were going to be spending long days together (lawyers).
Yours doesn't have to be 'fun', just something unexpected maybe.