To think on-line dating is bloody awful?

[LemonMeringueThreePointOneFour]

I reluctantly spent some time yesterday looking at a dating site, having lost all hope of the guy I was seeing turning out to be a sensible proposition.

Amongst the men who had been selected for me we had: one polyamorist, one transvestite, one would-be "dom" and one who boasted that he hadn't had a haircut for over a decade.

I then received an "introductory" message from someone I had already dated. Granted it was a while ago, but he clearly had no recollection of ever meeting me (I recognised him straight away).

Is it worth devoting any more time trawling through the site? Or do they all have weird kinks / complete dating amnesia? I'm late 40s, in case that's relevant.

YANBU. I gave up on all that about 3 years ago and haven't missed it.

My experience of online dating is that you have to stick with it and put up with a lot of dicks. I personally dont have the tolerance for it.

I did discover some very cool bars/restaurants in my city that I would have never found though, due to dates I was taken on.

Well I’m sat on the sofa with mr popet , we met on line 6 years ago married 4 . I was early 50s . I was probably on line for 4 years before we met . So very late 40s when I started . Maybe try another site ? I just used match and harmony ( depending on who were doing a deal !) one of my friends is getting married next week to a guy who she met on line about 3 years ago . In fact I can only think of one friend who married a guy she met walking her dog . If being in a relationship is important to you then keep going , if not then don’t . I enjoyed the on line stuff about 70%of the time , so wasn’t a problem. Good luck either way !

I enjoy it to be honest. I like talking to new people, I stop talking if I don't like them, I like meeting new people. Don't do it if you don't enjoy it.

I met my husband on it but I'm aware I was lucky.

YANBU it's awful!

And I love meeting new people - just not the sort who are on there. They seem to either write you off or decide you're their future wife within 5mins???

I appear to be matched perfectly with gentlemen that are in the twilight of their wishful thinking.

I darent pay the subscription until I've lost a couple of stone as they all want someone that's a size 10 despite clearly not having been able to see their penis under their tummy for many decades.

Just coming up to a year with someone I met on a site for the over 50s. I had some bizarre false starts because I was in no way ready then. And after a while I was lucky. I quite like first dates though - can see it's awful if you don't.

@Royalbloo

And I love meeting new people - just not the sort who are on there. They seem to either write you off or decide you're their future wife within 5mins???

Thing is, when you've been on there a while (I have), you can tell within five minutes if you're not going to be compatible, and it can be very exciting if you think you will be. So, I can absolutely see why you get that in five minutes.

@PermanentTemporary May I ask which site that was?

I met my lovely husband on match.com, but that was ages ago.

I think part of it is demographic. I lucked out finding someone great who was recently divorced, as I was at the time.

You may... it's very embarrassing as it's called Ourtime [vom] but I was 51 when I went on there and I reckoned that made me a hot property I think it may be an offshoot of Match. I had 3 dates from men on there, 2 perfectly pleasant ones that weren't going to go anywhere and then I met my bf. He was almost the only person I have ever made the first move on in a chequered and very long history of online /personals dating.

I agree OP. Real dross on the site I'm on. Ghosters,weirdos, inappropriate comments...totally depressing.

YANBU.

I went on three dates last week:

1- hadn't left home until age 33 (which he insisted was v normal ) and tried to psychoanalyse my dreams.

2 - next one told me that he had a "list of specifications" for his next GF. He was divorced. I wonder why

3 - one last night spoke to me at length about a child sexual abuse case where the child was known to him. At length. In details. Would t get off the topic.

Give me strength.

I actually rather enjoyed it! I’m a thirty something in London, though. It was pretty much a smorgasbord of opportunity, which I understand isn’t the case in other/smaller places?

Anyway, I met my lovely man a few years ago and we shall shortly be wed, so it all worked out. About half of my coupled up (in some cases, married) friends met online. So, it does work! I wish you the best of luck. 💗

@Animood Goodness! If you started a dating blog or Insta, I would follow you! Monetise their lunacy.

@TSSDNCOP

I appear to be matched perfectly with gentlemen that are in the twilight of their wishful thinking.

I darent pay the subscription until I've lost a couple of stone as they all want someone that's a size 10 despite clearly not having been able to see their penis under their tummy for many decades.

🤣🤣🤣 This sums it up eloquently. They're using it like an Argos catalogue. Except they're on the scrap heap of life themselves. Men on there have about 5 pictures. One with their mates in bars so you're confused as to who it is. One with a fish they've caught. A dog hug. Sometimes their car or motorbike Some random kid (look girls... good with kids) Some random woman (look how hot my female friends are that you need to compete with)

I've been luckily out of the horror for years but friends of mine report,
Dick pics.
General "you ok?" Blanket messages.
Sexual messages.
If you report you're a teacher/nurse etc you'll get told they've been a bad boy/need a nurse to bed bath them.

Christ it's tedious.

Wonder what the reverse is though.
Just a sea of pouting, bunny eared females of oompa looks colouring from fake tan?

Hideous on all sides

YANBU. It's soulsucking.

Took me two years and over 100 dates to finally find a keeper.

I know several other couples who met on dating apps, so there's hope. But you need to either get really lucky or put in a lot of time and grow a really thick skin.

Haha, that's so true @BathMatToe

I really want a perfect response that I just copy and paste to these scrap heap arrogant men that basically says 'how fucking dare you think I'd be interested, put some bloody effort in'

I was on a site for about 2 years before I met my husband. We've been together 10 years now. However, before I met him I met a lot of absolute bellends. One was a policeman who was ok until he accidentally sent me a "joke" which was obviously meant for his male colleagues. I couldn't repeat it on here, it's far too repulsive and offensive. When I spoke to him about it he told me he was married anyway and going back to his wife! I'm glad I didn't give up though, as I'd never have met my OH.

@BathMatToe

Wonder what the reverse is though.
Just a sea of pouting, bunny eared females of oompa looks colouring from fake tan?

Pretty much. To a bloke it seems as if there are no normal women either (or maybe they are all normal and I'm the odd one).

It seemed to me every woman was told she looks young for her age , is not interested in men her age as they are too boring and enjoys watching soap operas. Looking to meet Brad Pitt l(when he was younger obvs) lookalike who is kind to animals non-materialistic but has plenty of cash and a good job.

I am 59 and still gainfully employed (happily I found a partner another way) but many (pre covid) seemed to be looking for someone to go off on cruises around the world with now the kids are gone - I was (and am) still working!

@JudgementalCactus

YANBU. It's soulsucking.

Took me two years and over 100 dates to finally find a keeper.

I know several other couples who met on dating apps, so there's hope. But you need to either get really lucky or put in a lot of time and grow a really thick skin.

This is about the size of it. Except i was more like 3 years and 150+ dates. I found paid for sites worse than free

I can't complain too much as tinder bloody eventually gave me my husband.

I geniunely feel like i won the lottery with him, he is an amazing person and the absolute love of my life.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

My experience of online dating is that you have to stick with it and put up with a lot of dicks. I personally dont have the tolerance for it.

I did discover some very cool bars/restaurants in my city that I would have never found though, due to dates I was taken on.

Put up with a lot of dicks 😂

Sorry but that made me chuckle. Were you putting out a lot??

One of the weirdest ones when i as OLD was this guy who I must have matched with 5-6 times over a period of 3-4 years on a couple of different platforms. Every time he’d message me, i’d message back and he’d unmatch me. Kind of became a game in the end and I took to saying hey it’s you again and he’d reply and say hi and again unmatch. So weird, I was kind of fascinated.