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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be not be ‘neighbourly’?

49 replies

AutumnIsTheBest · 14/10/2021 15:47

New neighbours moved in about 3 months ago. They are not direct neighbours but the side of their house and half of their garden fence adjoins our drive and garage. We live in a small cul de sac (we’re at the end of it).

Anyway from moving in, they’ve caused issues as they seem to be gutting the house and doing up the outside of it and the garden, blocking the road with lorries and vans. The road is extremely narrow with a bend into the cul de sac with a few parking spaces at the top. Neighbours drive has been full of building materials for weeks so they are taking two of those spaces for their cars and also parking vans directly in front of their house in the tiny front garden area over spilling into the narrow road making it difficult to get round. Lots of noise, banging and loud bass from playing the radio in the garden full volume.

I have been asked by neighbour a few times to not park on my drive as he wanted to put scaffolding on the side of his house so on my drive. So had to park much further down the road a few times. Fair enough.

A few weeks ago he had a massive lorry delivering sand totally blocking the road. It was lucky I came out before they started offloading it as going to get DC from school or I wouldn’t have been able to get out at all for about 30 mins. Neighbour didn’t knock and say road is going to be blocked. When I said I need to get out the driver harrumphed. Neighbour didn’t say anything.

Neighbour also used a pressure washer to do his garden and covered the side of our car in mud as it came through the fence. He did apologise and his wife wrote a sickly note about not trying upset us, trying to be neighbourly and looking forward to being a part of the communityHmm with a tenner to wash the car which we gave back. They said they expected works to be completed in December!

Anyway, a few weeks ago neighbour said he wanted to paint the fence adjoining our drive and also sand the side of his house, so could we park elsewhere. He made the point that he didn’t want to damage my car, obviously as a thinly veiled threat. I said let me know in advance. Never heard anything until this morning when I was reversing in from school run and he’d already put a sheet down on my drive ready to paint the fence. He came over and said he wanted to do the work today as weather good. I said OK, how long for. He said all day. So I had to drive out and park on the main road as his cars are blocking the top of our cul de sac. I mean he could have moved one of his cars onto the main road so I could park there knowing he was blocking my drive right?

Been out again and did some shopping on the way back, so having to carry heavy bags down the road, he’s finished painting the fence but has put scaffolding up on the side on the house on my drive, he’s standing in it. I say how much longer are you going to be? He says a few more hours but it’ll take a another few days as I want to paint the side of the house.

I say ‘Really’? He then says ‘look it is really putting you out parking down the road?’ I say yes it bloody well is! We also had just got a new car and I don’t want it on the main road. He then says I’m trying to be neighbourly but i won’t ask you again, I’ll just do what I need to do! I say well as long as you’re not blocking my drive, the road or cause any damage to my car then and asked him who the hell he thinks he is.

AIBU? This has gone on for months now. The twat doesn’t care about the impact he’s having on us. This was a very quiet cul de sac and now looks like a building site. He never approached us when he first moved in to mention what he was going to do.

He seems to think because he wants to do stuff to the side of his house, he has a right to use our drive to do it on!

OP posts:
FuzzyPuffling · 14/10/2021 15:51

Don't give him permission to put anything on your drive, especially scaffolding. Blooming cheek!

Apart from that, yes it is deeply annoying to have your drive blocked by builders stuff. I feel your pain; this was us all summer while the neighbours had works done.

JudgeRindersMinder · 14/10/2021 15:52

You’re being a bit unfair I think. Unfortunately works take time and are messy amd a bit noisy.
He was very decent about jetwashing onto your car (damn sight more decent than our old neighbour was) Did you return the tenner just so you could say he was unreasonable?

JudgeRindersMinder · 14/10/2021 15:53

Sorry I should have said he’s being unreasonable about the scaffolding as he should be ASKING to use your drive, not telling you he’s going to

NorthSouthcatlady · 14/10/2021 15:53

I think they think being neighbourly means you doing what is best for them and not telling them no to anything Hmm I would tell them not to park or store things on your driveway, it is your driveway

Phon3afri3nd · 14/10/2021 15:55

I think you made a rod for your own back by allowing it to continue, you should've shut it down from the first instance. You've given him the opportunity to take advantage now.

FOJN · 14/10/2021 15:55

He never approached us when he first moved in to mention what he was going to do.

He seems to think because he wants to do stuff to the side of his house, he has a right to use our drive to do it on!

It's the assumption you would be fine with the inconvenience which would piss me off. Entitled cheeky fuckers. Next time he makes any comments about causing damage to your property I'd ask him if he's insured or has the money to foot the bill for repairs.

RedCarsGoFaster · 14/10/2021 15:56

Why the fuck has he got scaffolding on your property? Who gave permission for that? Has he asked?

Snoopsnoggysnog · 14/10/2021 15:57

I think you’re being a bit UR sorry

Snoopsnoggysnog · 14/10/2021 15:57

It’s annoying but people will always want to move in and do up a house. It’s just life. Not worth falling out over.

Hilly17 · 14/10/2021 15:59

I totally get where you are coming from, this would get my back up too.
However to make sure you all stay civil I really think it's worth going round and saying sorry you got angry can you come to an agreement between you about what would make things better.
Such as giving you notice, maybe agreeing at the start of the week what days they need access.
Being kind enough to allow you space at the top of the road to park instead of having to park in the main road.
At least then you've tried and if they don't stick to the agreement you can go back to them and say look to make this work I need the original agreement to happen.
Otherwise if you all fall out it makes for an uncomfortable atmosphere and I'm sure they don't want that either.
Sounds like the wife is more level headed so maybe pick a time she is home.

MrzClaus · 14/10/2021 16:00

Does he have rights to access over your driveway to get to the side of his house?

Tbh I understand them moving in and wanting to do up the house! I think it was nice of them to give money to clean the car, not many people would.

Large deliveries can be an absolute pain - but living on a cul de sac means deliveries on any kind must be a pain! I'd personally have popped across early on and asked them to give notice of any larger delivery days - if you've never made a fuss before then they will just have assumed you're okay with it!

thelastgoldeneagle · 14/10/2021 16:00

Bloody hell, what an entitled twat.

I'd say very firmly that he needs to ASK you if he wants to use your drive; that is it is not his property. I'd also ask him to move one of his cars to the main road so you can park in front of his house IF you agree to move your car.

Tell him that it's very inconvenient for you and all your other neighbours having the noise and lorries and workmen here - can't he really see see that?

I'd also tell him that it's polite to pre-warn neighbours of deliveries, like the sand lorry. I'd have asked him to clean my car after the pressure-washing incident.

I'd have asked the workmen to move the first time they were blocking me, and asked them to turn down radios the first time I heard them.

AdobeWanKenobi · 14/10/2021 16:01

@Snoopsnoggysnog

I think you’re being a bit UR sorry
Oh, Hi diddly ho neighborino!
ALittleBitWorrriedNow · 14/10/2021 16:02

To me it sounds like he’s encroaching on the boundaries a bit…if he needs to scaffolding on your driveway, isn’t it possible for you to park in his drive and him to park up the road? Either way, I’d keep a distance from now on.

user1471538283 · 14/10/2021 16:06

I'd tell him all access stops now. He does not have access to your land or airspace.

I honestly don't know who the hell people think they are.

LookItsMeAgain · 14/10/2021 16:08

You should have told him the day he put up the scaffolding on your driveway that you use your driveway and he has to locate his scaffolding somewhere else.

Not your problem OP.

They have been very rude to you and your other neighbours by arriving in the street and effectively getting their elbows out and making their presence known.

See if there is planning permission for any or all of the work that is happening.

SentDeliveredRead · 14/10/2021 16:10

Lorries and deliveries wouldn't be a problem, you just ask them to move to allow you in and out. Him telling me not to park on my drive as he needs it to do work on his house and put scaffolding up would make my head explode
Does he own the scaff company as they are usually very careful where they put it, it's very expensive equipment?

SentDeliveredRead · 14/10/2021 16:14

@AdobeWanKenobi

Does he own the scaff company as they are usually very careful where they put it, it's very expensive equipment?

I imagined it was one of those scaffold towers on wheels you can buy for home use, like this:

]]

Erm, then dismantle it?
PumpkinsandTea · 14/10/2021 16:17

I don't see how him asking you if you'd mind moving your car as he doesn't want to damage it, is a 'thinly veiled threat?!?'

Other than that, he's def being a twat.

Tabitha005 · 14/10/2021 16:17

He sounds like a rude arse! At the very least he should ask permission to erect scaffolding on YOUR property. Can you imagine if the dozy twat fell off it and then tried to claim it was because YOUR driveway wasn't level or something?

It's all very well being neighbourly, but it works both ways and if I needed access onto someone else's property in order to carry out work on my own house, I'd be offering sweeteners (he could offer to let you park on his drive, for instance).

He sounds like a dick and you probably need to shut his dickish behaviour down before he starts to assume he can do whatever the hell he likes on your property without asking.

AdobeWanKenobi · 14/10/2021 16:18

Erm, then dismantle it?

Tricky. It's not my scaffolding and I don't know where OP lives 😉

If it is this stuff though i'd be dragging it off my drive if I were in OP's position.

Classica · 14/10/2021 16:22

He sounds like an absolute arse. Entitled bore who can't understand why you're not thrilled to have to inconvenience yourself for him.

simitra · 14/10/2021 16:25

I always advise going nuclear the first thing something CF happens with a neighbour. In every street/workplace etc there is one of "those people" whom others aim to avoid upsetting because they will get a load of backchat. I aim to be "that person" whom others wish to avoid and have as little to do with as possible.

Send him a strongly worded "Cease and Desist" letter for using your drive and advise him of your daily charges. Give him 7 days to remove the scaffolding after which the charges will apply for rental of your land. Get a couplke of big mates to deliver the letter.

Tirediam · 14/10/2021 16:28

He’s a massive cheeky f’r and you need to tell him to sod off your drive

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