Worried about my clever but laidback DS re A’levels

[FridayIM]

DS has always been naturally academic. He generally does the minimum revision and always does very well in exams. He only really works when under pressure (won’t start revising until just before tests etc).
He’s a good student and teachers like him. He works hard in lessons and always gives in homework on time and to a good standard, but he’s quite efficient and homework doesn’t take too long.
I’m just worried that this approach is not going to be enough now he’s doing A’levels. He’s chosen 4 A’levels considered to be very hard and the course he wants to do at university requires A* s and As.
I’m driving myself a bit mad worrying about this and find myself nagging him to do more. This makes no difference and he just says ‘it’s fine’.
Does anyone else have a DC like this? Did they eventually knuckle down?

Presumably he's only just started his A-levels. In which case he will realise much closer to his exams that he'll have to put in some work if he wants the results. However, he works hard in class and hands homework in time. Would you rather have a child already panicking/worrying and who might crumble under the pressure. Even if he doesn't get the absolute best results that he could, it's not the end of the world anyway. Just be grateful that he does well and is not a worrier. Deal with your own anxieties about his academic success instead and try to relax more.

Op if it helps. I was the opposite kind of student. Scatty disorganised did not do well academically. I did badly in my mock a levels and it gave me such a fright I poured my energy into intense work and did well in the end. I got abb which was much better than my GCSe results and I had skived a lot ! So what I'm saying is there is time for him to pull his finger out later on in his sixth form time. He doesn't need to do intense 28 hours a week of revision throughout!

Thanks for the reality check. I’m so pleased I posted this as I the last thing I want to do is stress him out unnecessarily. I suppose I do sometimes wonder what he could achieve if he really applied himself. He did spend hours working out a concept he found hard in further maths a few weeks ago so he probably has got it in him to put in the work if needs be. My 2 best friends have DC the same age who seem to be doing hours of studying every day so this has been my main source of anxiety - I know I shouldn’t compare but its hard.
Nagging gets me nowhere and trying to force him to study would definitely not work. He’s very independent and will not allow me to get involved despite my efforts to!

Is he Yr13, about to submit UCAS to Uni. What are his predicted grades? Does he have mocks in November? If all is A*AAA, then back off!

You haven't Answered the question: is he year 12 or year 13 ? because it makes a huge difference.

I suppose I do sometimes wonder what he could achieve if he really applied himself.

That’s not really how it works, though, in my experience. He probably does so well when he does work hard precisely because he paces himself and has plenty of down-time and doesn’t work himself into the ground. If I had been forced to revise for hours and hours every week I would have burned out and probably done worse in the end.

No he’s year 12 so only just starting A’levels. I was expecting him to be surprised by the increase in workload/difficulty of A’levels but he’s just plodding along and taking it in his stride as normal. Maybe it’s too early to tell yet.

My older son did Maths, FM, Physics and Chemistry and, in the recent words of his brother, "did all his homework at school". Also took AS Critical Thinking and Study Skills in Y12 and in Y13 an EPQ and AS Statistics (first we heard of that was at Parents' Evening when the tutor said "I think he was wise to choose not to do the full A-level" ).

Just started his fourth year. Some discussion over the summer about his thoughts on his Masters project is probably the most we've ever talked to him about work.

My younger son has done History, Government & Politics, and Sociology, and has had to do a lot of work at home (even taking into account the pandemic). He had a major shift to undergo in order to become an A* student (this was the child about whom it was said "if anyone gets all 9s it will be him"). Had a bit of a wobble over self-discipline at the beginning of lockdown but with a bit of minimal nagging and some advice from school managed to get back on track.

If the A-levels involved are all maths and sciences it's entirely possible that the student is doing enough.

@FridayIM You could've been describing me in your original post. I continued to find school easy all the way up to A levels and whilst I had to put a little bit more work in to University I still didn't work particularly hard and did fine. Although I did get a 2.1 (69% annoyingly) so could probably have done better if I'd applied myself.

For reference I did Biology, Chemistry, Maths, Further Maths and Critical thinking at AS Level. I dropped Further maths and Critical thinking at A2 level.

The only thing I wanted to add to what others have said is that he can always repeat his first year if he needs to. Relax, see how the year goes and if he doesn't get the required AS grades then ask him what he'd like to do.

My DS was similar. He's doing an extremely work laden and academic uni course, and he's definitely working now!

Leave him be, although before you do, you could mention that being too laid back might backfire. Everything in moderation, and timing can be important. If he's used to doing well, he'll enjoy being the clever one, and the first bad grades should give him a decent kick up the arse without you bothering to do anything 😄

Are you sure this thread isn't a stealth boast, OP? There are many parents who'd be green with envy to have your DC!

Honestly, he's probably fine. The incident you describe with the FM concept bodes well for his ability to do more when he needs to.

I'd only worry if he doesn't get the grades he needs during assessments. If he's y12 they have only just started so I really wouldn't worry.

No he’s year 12 so only just starting A’levels.

Oh blimey, he’s only been in year 12 for what, a month?! He’s fine! I worry about your friends’ kids if they’re already spending hours and hours a week studying for their A levels on top of school… they’ll be burnt out by Christmas at that rate. Or, more likely, I suspect their parents are exaggerating somewhat.

Your son sounds like my DH. Naturally clever and doesn't have to work too hard at exams. Breezed through GCSEs and A levels. Passed postgraduate exams that most ppl struggle with first time round (friend with a PhD took 3 goes). Studied for important work qualifications by flicking through a book in front of a TV...and passed. I am the opposite and need to work hard to pass exams. Some people just have it, wouldn't stress too much. He has made the decision and understands the commitment. He shd be ok.

My DS is at the same stage. If he wasn't attempting A level German he'd have time on his hands right now - he seems to have divided his non-gaming time over the summer between learning German vocab and working on olympiad level maths problems.

Yes a lot of kids find A levels a big step up, and have to up their work accordingly, but if he's "working in class and getting his homework in on time" comfortably, he's working right for now.

DD (now on her gap year) could worry that others were having to put more work in for maths than she was doing, but again was well prepared for it and steady work was absolutely fine. Quite different to her other subjects - English and History, where lots and lots of work was absolutely needed.

I said to DS a long time ago life does not always work out how we would like it. But we do have times in our lives when we have choices.

I said if you do well at school it increases your chance of a decent career which means you increase your chances of not being poor. It’s not a guarantee but it’s a start.

A level maths teacher here. You are right to be worried. A lot of bright year 12s come unstuck because they are used to doing well without much real effort in their GCSEs.

@sophiasnail but OP says her son is getting all his homework done, getting good grades, and recently spent hours working through a Further Maths problem at home when he wasn’t sure of something so sounds like he is able to work hard when needed. As a teacher do you really think he sounds like a cause for concern?

Cause for concern yes, cause for panic no! The difficulty of A level maths and further maths soon ramps up, so some vigilance to make he is able to work hard all the time when it is needed is a good idea now.

Sounds like me.

I did 4 A levels, including Maths and Further Maths and got 4 As and went to Cambridge (like the PP it was before A*s).

Maths ramps up in the second year of A levels. They were expecting us to do a couple of past exam papers every week, which takes a lot of time. My other A levels were Physics and Geography so not heavily essay based but Geography had course work.

If he's happy and his teachers are happy then putting pressure on him won't help. Why risk generating anxiety if it's not needed?

My mate at Cambridge who did the best (firsts in all three years) barely came to lectures, preferring to laze in bed watching day time TV.

The difference with a levels is that there's a want/need to achieve in order to get to uni, that's what we found with our bright but lazy DS. He never really liked school but college was different, he just seemed to grow up and get on with things (although he didn't do further maths in the end as they didn't have enough kids to run the course). I think he's felt that GCSEs weren't the be all and end all but once he'd set his heart on a particular uni and course and knew what he had to do to get there it helped focus him. Some things they just have to want to do for themselves, and it sounds like your DS is managing his workload so I'd leave him to it.

My DS did no revision for his GCSEs but managed straight A *.
His approach was the same to A levels, he still got very good results, but not enough to get into Cambridge.
He then decided to take a year off , travel, work and study, and resit . He got into Cambridge the next year.
It was a learning experience.

@Sloth66

My DS did no revision for his GCSEs but managed straight A *. His approach was the same to A levels, he still got very good results, but not enough to get into Cambridge. He then decided to take a year off , travel, work and study, and resit . He got into Cambridge the next year. It was a learning experience.

I suspect that was a long time ago or an unpopular subject. Cambridge can usually fill uo several times ivee with kids who have aced their exams first time

Some kids are just able to do this. I did little to no revision for my A levels and got 3 As (A didn't exist yet) . If he doesn't achieve As and As he will most likely still achieve very good grades. He is old enough to make his own mistakes.

Honestly being happy is so much more important than whether he gets As or B's. I was the highest performing kid in my year (300 kids) thorough the first half of high school. No friends, utterly miserable and suicidal. I finally made friends outside of school at 15, was a million times happier and as a result stopped focusing on school work. I coasted through my GSCEs with absolutely no revision and got mostly As (few A, few Bs). Then didn't work quite hard enough at college and so didn't get my grades for a vet uni degree. I was absolutely gutted at the time. But life has worked out absolutely fine 😊 I got a first from a red brick uni, I have a much better salary and work life balance than I would as a vet. I technically haven't reached my full potential, I don't chase huge salaries and long hours. If I'd have continued down the highly academic route I might have got better exam results and maybe a more highly paid job... But I would have been miserable, wouldn't have had a fantastic time and made lifelong friends at college/uni.

Your son will be absolutely fine. He might be doing enough already, he might get a kick up the bum from mocks, he might not work hard enough and get Bs. But ultimately he can still get a job/go to uni even with bad grades (for him) if he's happy, he'll be fine and you'll have done your job as a mum!