Worried about my clever but laidback DS re A’levels

[FridayIM]

DS has always been naturally academic. He generally does the minimum revision and always does very well in exams. He only really works when under pressure (won’t start revising until just before tests etc).
He’s a good student and teachers like him. He works hard in lessons and always gives in homework on time and to a good standard, but he’s quite efficient and homework doesn’t take too long.
I’m just worried that this approach is not going to be enough now he’s doing A’levels. He’s chosen 4 A’levels considered to be very hard and the course he wants to do at university requires A* s and As.
I’m driving myself a bit mad worrying about this and find myself nagging him to do more. This makes no difference and he just says ‘it’s fine’.
Does anyone else have a DC like this? Did they eventually knuckle down?

I would back right off. Teachers will be assessing and reporting to parents. If reports or parent Eve suggest issues then support him as he works with teachers to raise his grades.
In no time at all he won’t have you to supervise. He’s growing up!

@GreenLakes

The key thing with DC like your DS is to have a routine and stick to it. Depending on his study periods(let’s assume 6 hours) , your DS should be doing say 3 hours’ study on Monday-Thursday and then 10 hours over the weekend.

If your expectation is that he does 28 hours of study a week (which is perfectly reasonable considering the reduced class time at A level- DS1 is in year 11 and his school expects 3 hours of work on school nights), you need to make sure that happens.

My DC are younger but have to earn all their screen time through completing the amount of study time we set them.

This is unlikely to work for a sixth former, but I would certainly make access to wi-fi and other privileges conditional on the 28 hours being completed.

Don’t listen to posters seemingly happy to accept mediocrity. Good grades at A level take a lot of work and our role as parents is to make sure our DC fulfil their potential.

All of my DC have strict study regimes that need to be followed.

My DD was very much like the OPs DS....she ended up with A*'s and a 1st class honours degree. If I had implemented your "regime" (very telling that you refer to it as that), the only thing she would have ended up with is a lifetime of therapy.

I wouldn’t worry about a levels. It’s personality that gets you a job. You can have amazing qualifications but if you don’t fit in you won’t get hired. As long as he’s friendly and likeable he won’t have any problems.

GreenLakes but what’s going to happen when your DC get to university and haven’t developed any self discipline skills? Being too interventionist does have downsides, your DC never develop their own motivation.

… and may rebel as soon as they are let off the leash.

OP you could be describing me at school.... Everything was easy, I coasted through doing the bare minimum of work and getting excellent grades, really engaging in class, handing all my homework in on time.

It all just came to me..... Until it didn't, and by the time that happened I really didn't know how to work effectively independently.

I didn't realise my potential at university as by the time I realised if have to knuckle down as it was hard, it was too late.

I got a 2:2 from a good redbrick University, I have a masters and several post grad qualifications and have a good job and earn well.... But I look back and wpuod really have benefitted from some support or guidance throughout A Level to get me into the habit of independent (ie outside of classroom) working.

If you can offer support to your child in a non pushy way I'd encourage it.

For everyone saying they coasted and then got amazing degrees from Oxbridge, it could just as easily go the other way so why risk it if you can help and have that help welcomed.

I was exactly like your son (still am)! I always only revise the day/couple of days before all my exams and I have always been a straight A student. "Work smart, not hard" has always been my motto Honestly he will be fine. I used the same (lazy) approach at uni and excelled there as well. Some people are naturally academic

At GCSE and A level my DT’s were responsible for their own study time. Both we and school provided resources to enable profitable use of their time. We didn’t set the amount of time they should be studying (from memory 1-2 hours a night but they also did sport at a competitive level). They were old and responsible enough to sort that for themselves.
Too many children don’t learn to think for themselves and struggle at Uni where no one will be monitoring them.
Both DT’s got all A’s at GCSE and A level and recently 1st class degrees.

@minipie

It’s perfectly possible to develop self-discipline within a supportive framework.

All of my DC are required to do a certain amount of study in order to earn screen time. But they can also choose to do more in order to earn extra screen time.

I was clever at school, was well behaved in class, homework in on time, passed 9 O levels with top grades. Took same approach to A levels with not good results! The problem is that only your son can change his attitude, you can't change it for him. Hopefully now schools are getting back to normal and he'll experience sitting exams for himself rather than being awarded marks based on coursework, he'll get the message early in his courses that he needs to get his finger out.

He sounds fantastic! And yes, his attitude will be good enough. Maths geeks are i think known for their arrogance, they just find the concepts easy. Then when they find something a bit tough they usually do rise to the challenge - after all, why should anything defeat their colossal brains?

You really don't need to worry, or even understand how his brain ticks. Just watch, and wonder that you created this amazing person.

Ds is doing similar A levels eg FM and three others

He’s relaxed and I just leave him to it

Wouldn’t have worked for me GreenLakes - I’ve never been motivated by rewards, I needed to get The Fear from a (minor) experience of doing badly in order to push myself. But you know your DC best.

I was the same as your DS and did fine.

@GreenLakes - how old are your DC’s?

He sounds fine. It sounds like he gets on with his work without faffing.

Maths and FM usually have effective revision built into the teaching schedule - teachers usually make them do loads and loads of past papers, which is the right way to 'revise' maths.

He’s a good student and teachers like him. He works hard in lessons and always gives in homework on time and to a good standard, but he’s quite efficient

I'm at a loss to understand how this isn't 'knuckling down'.

Leave him to it , he is old enough to make his own choices . My ds was similar ,didn't do amazing in his A levels and he was very disappointed with himself . Still went onto to do a degree thou (got a 1st ) and is in line for a distinction in his masters. Obviously I have encouraged him immensely, but ultimately I could not force him to study .

Everyone has a natural ability level. Some will exceed it by working really hard, some will realise that the required input isn't worth it for the outcome. Your DS may not yet have hit the ceiling of his natural ability and genuinely can get everything done to a high standard without having to go the extra mile. He works in class, gets his homework done and is liked by teachers, don't get on his case - it's neither necessary nor helpful.

He'll probably be fine at A Level, but I would keep an eye when he starts university. I was the exact same and was an academic super star at 18, but found university crushingly confusing and got a 2.2.

If you are naturally good at Math then doing Maths, Further Maths and my guess would be Physics you don't really need to do a lot of work. If you understand the concepts you are able to do it. many years ago I did Maths, FM, Physics Chemistry and Business studies (5 A'levels) and had a saturday job and got 4 A's and a B (before A*'s). It wasn't really a problem. If he is getting good results, leave him to it.

This happened to a friend's son years ago. He didn't have to work for GCSEs and got good grades. This taught him that he was a genius and never had to work.

He wanted to be a doctor. As a result of doing the minimum he did badly in his A levels because he'd never learned how to apply himself and he was putting in the same effort that he did for GCSEs.

He then re-sat his A levels but medical schools wouldn't take him - his results weren't quite good enough. He then had to do a medical-related degree, then got onto the medical course with that.

It took him a long time to learn how to learn. Sixth forms are full of students, usually boys, who fit into that "clever but doesn't apply himself" category. If he's finding things easy now he should be doing extra work to go deeper. Other students are doing this and this will show eventually.

I was exactly your son in school and in university, I coasted through doing great on bare minimum study, and never studied until the very last minute for exams.
(The exception was my mocks, when I was shocked to see that I hadn't gotten my usual raft of A's - this gave me the small kick up the bum I did need at that stage.) I aced my final exams, and sailed through to get first class honours in a very tough university degree.
Thankfully my parents always left me to my own devices regarding study - I'm very stubborn and any suggestions to study generally had the complete opposite effect on me - it would have caused nothing but aggravation all around! Luckily they knew and trusted me well enough not to interfere.
I'm sure your son will do great OP. Trust him.

To add, GreenLake's approach would have sent me BONKERS at that age. I would definitely have rebelled against it. But left to my own devices I was well able to (and did) succeed. But like I said... I'm a stubborn devil!

This was and still is me, to be honest. I’ve always worked hard when I needed to but I just always have this innate sense of how much I need to do and when I need to do it, and I can’t make myself do any more than that. I remember my mum sighing and saying something about how she hoped I was ready to face the consequences of my laziness when my A level exams rolled around… and then I got straight As.

Now I am doing a PhD and I never feel like I’m working hard enough because I can go for weeks without managing to do anything useful, but then I can bash out a really solid piece of work in a few days and my supervisors will always say I’ve done really great work and must have worked so hard on it. It just seems to be the way I’m wired!

Also, just because your son isn’t sat at a desk working doesn’t mean he isn’t thinking and digesting the things he’s learned, even subconsciously. Some of my best ‘work’ happens when I’m away doing something else and reflecting on what I’m going to write next.

I’d just encourage your son to be really honest with himself about whether he actually thinks he’s doing enough but as long as he does, and his teachers don’t have any concerns, then don’t chain him to his desk just because you think he needs to be doing a certain number of hours.