Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Left DS alone

40 replies

beewritesx · 12/10/2021 15:30

DS (2) was having a nap so I nipped outside to put something in the car. Was 2 minutes but suddenly feeling really guilty about leaving DS alone (even though it was 2 mins and he was fast asleep). I saw my friend briefly while I was outside and told her DS was asleep in the house. Suddenly wandering if she thinks I'm a terrible mum.

OP posts:
Karatema · 12/10/2021 15:36

You went out to the car, you didn't drive or walk down to the local shops. Breathe! You are not a terrible Mum.

SickAndTiredAgain · 12/10/2021 15:36

You were on your driveway? Did you have a key in case the front door shut, or is your door one that doesn’t lock if it accidentally swings shut? If so, I think that’s ok. If there was a chance you could be locked out then no.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 12/10/2021 15:37

Where was the car? Outside the house, absolutely fine, no different to going in the back garden. Parked down the road, might be a bit dodgy, but ds was still fine

SalemWitchCraft · 12/10/2021 15:37

I mean it's kinda the same as leaving him while you go to the toilet, you weren't far or long so imo it's fine but like pp said as long as you couldn't get locked out there's no issues.

Nondescriptname · 12/10/2021 15:38

Absolutely fine as long as there's no chance of you being locked out by accident.

Original poster
beewritesx · 12/10/2021 15:40

We don't have a driveway. Car is parked outside next doors house. I couldn't have locked myself out. It's not that type of lock.

OP posts:
3scape · 12/10/2021 15:43

It's probably a boundary in your head about "your" space and outside the front of my house and probably yours is more overlooked and less private so it stops feeling like being "in" but I spent chunks of time in lockdown on my front lawn just to see other people than my household. It was still mine if you like. But it felt different to even the very end of our reasonably big garden.

Pippyweather · 12/10/2021 15:43

Of course you're not a bad mum!!

I've popped next door for 5 mins before with a baby monitor when mine were little. I could have been back in less than 6 seconds!

louise987 · 12/10/2021 15:48

Did something happen?

If not, it's done now and given your post it sounds like you thankfully won't do it again! We all have lapses, we're human (and often sleep deprived!)

ThePearSquare · 12/10/2021 15:50

If you can’t get locked out I don’t see it as any different than going into your garden and chatting with someone over a fence so no, you’re not a bad mum.

DappledThings · 12/10/2021 15:52

it's done now and given your post it sounds like you thankfully won't do it again! We all have lapses, we're human (and often sleep deprived!)
What lapse? She nipped out to the car. She didn't go to the shops or round the neighbour's house for a cup of tea.

I've voted YABU. The voting won't mean anything as it isn't clear but YABU for feeling so guilty about it, YANBU for having done it.

Justcallmebebes · 12/10/2021 15:53

"If not, it's done now and given your post it sounds like you thankfully won't do it again! We all have lapses, we're human (and often sleep deprived!)"

Really? You think nipping outside your front door to get something from the car is a lapse in judgement and it shouldn't be done again?? Bizarre

DartmoorChef · 12/10/2021 16:02

I think I voted wrong. I put yanbu as I can't see how it's any different to hanging out your washing or cleaning the windows which is perfectly fine to do while your toddler is asleep

BaronessOfTheNorth · 12/10/2021 16:04

No of course not! I've done gardening during nap time, I just kept a monitor on me -when I remembered-

I've managed to keep her alive.

Popping to the shop is a different matter!

elbea · 12/10/2021 16:04

I do the gardening when my daughter is napping and chores like cleaning out the car, I have a monitor and can see her. I never even considered this might be considered bad parenting Grin

BaronessOfTheNorth · 12/10/2021 16:05

@louise987

Did something happen?

If not, it's done now and given your post it sounds like you thankfully won't do it again! We all have lapses, we're human (and often sleep deprived!)

Is this a joke?
Finknottlesnewt · 12/10/2021 16:06

Is this a stealth boast about how attached you are to your baby ???

FGS get a grip. You didn't go next door and shag the neighbour got an hour whilst he crawled around the house sticking his fingers in the sockets !!

If people REALLY think this is a reprehensible action in some way .. how on EARTH do you get through a day ?

WhoUsedMyName · 12/10/2021 16:11

@Finknottlesnewt
What they said ^ Grin

VainAbigail · 12/10/2021 16:23

@louise987

Did something happen?

If not, it's done now and given your post it sounds like you thankfully won't do it again! We all have lapses, we're human (and often sleep deprived!)

Yes op, you must never, ever, ever, EVER step outside of your house when your child is asleep in their bed. Not to fetch something from the car, not to go in your garden - NOTHING. Absolutely never ever. Thank GOODNESS you’ll never do it again after your lapse. Phew!!

PS, it’s not a big “post worthy” deal so please get a grip!

billy1966 · 12/10/2021 16:25

Sometimes my first used to grab a sleep in the car.
I would grab a coffee and sit by the window and enjoy the peace.

Worked a treat.
Never felt even slightly guilty.

Tee20x · 12/10/2021 16:30

No different to going downstairs to sort out the washing or having a shower/bath while they are asleep.

Aquamarine1029 · 12/10/2021 16:32

@louise987

Did something happen?

If not, it's done now and given your post it sounds like you thankfully won't do it again! We all have lapses, we're human (and often sleep deprived!)

This is sarcasm, right? Confused
leavesthataregreen · 12/10/2021 16:32

What you did is perfectly fine. If he had woken up in distress you'd have been with him just as quickly as you would if you'd been on the phone or the loo.

EmoIsntDead · 12/10/2021 16:35

This is a total non event

GetOffTheTableMabel · 12/10/2021 16:45

@beewritesx

DS (2) was having a nap so I nipped outside to put something in the car. Was 2 minutes but suddenly feeling really guilty about leaving DS alone (even though it was 2 mins and he was fast asleep). I saw my friend briefly while I was outside and told her DS was asleep in the house. Suddenly wandering if she thinks I'm a terrible mum.
Reading your original post again @beewritesx, I am not certain whether you are really concerned that you are a terrible mum or whether you are just worried that your friend thinks you’re a terrible mum.

Your DS is 2 and hopefully you know that popping something in the car while he’s sleeping is ok. You know his sleep cycles, his capabilities and whether or not your home is secure.
If you’re worried that your friend might think you’re a terrible mother, I think that’ll understandable. We all worry about the judgment of others sometimes but if she’s a real friend, she won’t be judging because she already knows that you’re a good mother.