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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Left DS alone

40 replies

beewritesx · 12/10/2021 15:30

DS (2) was having a nap so I nipped outside to put something in the car. Was 2 minutes but suddenly feeling really guilty about leaving DS alone (even though it was 2 mins and he was fast asleep). I saw my friend briefly while I was outside and told her DS was asleep in the house. Suddenly wandering if she thinks I'm a terrible mum.

OP posts:
Onairjunkie · 12/10/2021 16:58

Meh, I put the baby to bed and go out to do the cows and horses. He’s a pretty reliable sleeper and I can check the monitor on my phone if I really want to. I rarely do. Don’t worry about it! Assuming he has a safe sleep space, what’s the worst that could happen?

SylvanasWindrunner · 12/10/2021 17:01

I leave DD in the house to put the bins out, stick stuff in the car, etc. and she's the same age. Never really thought anything of it! I think she's probably safer asleep in the house or playing with her toys in the playroom than me juggling trying to watch her outside with a road nearby.

NKFell · 12/10/2021 17:16

Like a PP said, this is a total non event. Surely everyone does this?! I certainly do!

Onairjunkie · 12/10/2021 17:17

@louise987

Did something happen?

If not, it's done now and given your post it sounds like you thankfully won't do it again! We all have lapses, we're human (and often sleep deprived!)

If this is a genuine post, you’d absolutely lose your shit at what I do @louise987 😂
Peanutsandchilli · 12/10/2021 17:24

I went to put the bins out while my toddler was asleep yesterday evening. In fact, I went out twice as I had an extra bag to put out. I must be an awful mother because I didn't feel the slightest pang of guilt.

DGFB · 12/10/2021 17:25

Nothing you did was wrong

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/10/2021 17:26

@Justcallmebebes

"If not, it's done now and given your post it sounds like you thankfully won't do it again! We all have lapses, we're human (and often sleep deprived!)"

Really? You think nipping outside your front door to get something from the car is a lapse in judgement and it shouldn't be done again?? Bizarre

This place is properly bonkers some times.
BlackeyedSusan · 12/10/2021 17:26

how far is outside the neighbours house?

outside the neighbours house can be closer in some placces than parked on the drive in others. (eg my car is longer than the width of ex's terrace house, it is two steps from the pavement to his door. ) some gardens are smaller or not at all.

I think you feel that this is a problem as you stepped off your territory, even though someone with a larger garden could be on their own garden and be three or four times further away.

Sally872 · 12/10/2021 17:31

I voted Yabu meaning yabu to worry about this it's fine. Dc fine, you did nothing wrong, neighbour won't think anything of it.

MisterMeaner · 12/10/2021 17:46

I read an interesting piece of research a few years ago. People were given the following scenario: A mother with a child strapped in their car seat, parks in a multi-storey carpark and gets out. Before she opens the back door to get the child out, she collapses and is out cold beside the car for an hour. What level of risk is the child exposed to?

Respondents tended to think the child was in a relatively low risk situation - strapped into a car, under cover, unlikely that anyone with bad intent would happen upon them.

The same scenario is given but this time, the mother doesn't collapse by the car, she goes off to get her nails done for an hour. In this scenario the level of risk to the child was judged to be much higher.

The point of this is to show you that our perceptions of how dangerous situations really are for children are based very largely on our judgement of the parent.

Your kid was not at risk. You did nothing unreasonable. You could do it again, and no harm would befall your child. It was fine. Stop judging yourself so harshly. You're not a bad parent.

Incidentally, when the parent in the scenario was a Dad, either collapsing or going for a jog, the child was judged as being at even lower risk. Go figure.

DinaofCloud9 · 12/10/2021 17:49

Oh come on. Of course you didn't do anything wrong. Stop being so hard on yourself.

Boomshakalakaaaaa · 12/10/2021 17:50

I used to put the washing on the line, how terrible does that make me?

Daphnise · 12/10/2021 17:54

Was it really just out to the car?

All this guilt just for that? I wonder.....

Elieza · 12/10/2021 18:01

Not sure if we are voting on the title or the final sentence of your post.

No you are not being unreasonable to leave dc alone for a nano second.

Yes you are being unreasonable if you think your friend thinks your a bad mum.

I think the lack of clarity in what we are voting for may explain the mixed voting results! Or perhaps I’m just an idiot who doesn’t understand!?

PollyRae16 · 12/10/2021 19:17

I must be terrible we used to have bbq on our shared driveway in front of each of houses during lockdown & this summer. Toddler fast asleep in bed

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