To ask if you are happy in your own company what do you do

[AmanitaRubescens]

DD(16) busy with studying, training, socialising and work.

DH busy volunteering and has got a new hobby that gets him out of the house.

So I'm spending increasing amounts of time alone. I meet friends for dog walks or coffee.

Interested to hear what people do if they enjoy longish periods of time alone. I expect I will, once it becomes the norm

Do you find it hard to relax OP?

No, not at all Ragwort - I'm just going through a period of adjustment as my dd becomes more independent (which is wonderful to watch) and I've dropped my hours at work.

Definitely going to look at volunteering. Your mum sounds fab btw

I know this feeling. My teenage kids have disappeared into their bedrooms lately, and DH has always been a man lost in his own thoughts.. so I've been worried I'll feel alone in the next stage of my life.

But then I made a list of everything I'd like to do, and started to see solitary time as an opportunity to do stuff purely for ME.

My list is things like:

Write a funny book
Write a hilarious blog
Lose 10lbs and tone up
Sort out all my clothes
Actually read some of the books I buy..
Watch classic films, or every film by a certain director or starring a particular actor
Get a p/t job as a hostess in a restaurant
Pass my advanced driving test
Get 8 hours sleep every night
Overhaul my appearance

Really selfish stuff! It's honestly brilliant once you start thinking of what you'd like to do. Really quickly you get into it, and then someone barges into your bedroom and you actually feel annoyed you have to stop. 😆

I am in the middle of this podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/on-being-with-krista-tippett/id150892556?i=1000536424698]]

Hope that works.

Ah didn't give you much of a clue- it's about ease in alone-ness.

I was hauling the lawnmower up and down the garden, arms aching, covered in grass and I just thought “I’m so fucking happy”

moments like that are wonderful, aren't they. Just doing an every day thing and you have that realisation that you are alive and so happy to be so.

I had that last night when I had to nip out for milk, looked up at the sky and saw this beautiful crescent moon - it looked like a tangerine segment!

I exercise every day, for an hour. Body pump, spinning, Pilates, swimming, running and walking.
I go to a book club once a month.
I have a games night once a month-we rotate between the households and bring a pot luck dinner.
I catch up with friends, we go on walks to cafes or pubs, I have a dog.

I actually have time to properly look after myself for a change. I have the headspace to think: ok, I need to get some vitamins, I could do with a pedicure, I’ll go into town and find a good hair mask etc.
HTH

I've recently taken up watercolour painting. It's incredibly relaxing. I'd never painted before but there's lots of tutorials on YouTube, really basic stuff and you'd be amazed at how lovely they come out, just by following along step by step.

I just sit and Be. Let my brain relax. Mn. Downtime, time on my own is very important and I have always made sure I have plenty.

I spend most of my life alone (with Dh in another room!) I've WFH alone for decades.

Like you I meet friends – for walks, mainly, sometimes for coffee. I do online courses in subjects that interest me - lots of them are free, some I pay for. I go out to exercise classes several times a week. I read. I go kayaking with a local club. And I work!

@BuddhaAtSea - I like the sound of your games night. What sort of games do you play?

Nothing. Surf the internet and read shit about stuff. Crochet. Bake. Walk. Do my own gel nail extensions and nail art. Listen to audio books and Spotify. Do loads of washing.

@AlbertBridge

I know this feeling. My teenage kids have disappeared into their bedrooms lately, and DH has always been a man lost in his own thoughts.. so I've been worried I'll feel alone in the next stage of my life.

But then I made a list of everything I'd like to do, and started to see solitary time as an opportunity to do stuff purely for ME.

My list is things like:

Write a funny book
Write a hilarious blog
Lose 10lbs and tone up
Sort out all my clothes
Actually read some of the books I buy..
Watch classic films, or every film by a certain director or starring a particular actor
Get a p/t job as a hostess in a restaurant
Pass my advanced driving test
Get 8 hours sleep every night
Overhaul my appearance

Really selfish stuff! It's honestly brilliant once you start thinking of what you'd like to do. Really quickly you get into it, and then someone barges into your bedroom and you actually feel annoyed you have to stop. 😆

I love that list. I have one too. It overlaps a bit with yours.

I had a 'so fucking happy' moment this morning. Came down fed the birds and the fox then stood at the kitchen door in the dawn air with a cup of steaming tea watching all the wildlife have the breakfast I'd given them. It gave me a rush of joy.

I read ,crochet, do.craft stuff. I am never really on my own as have a small dog

I'm recently retired and love my own company. I read a lot, do calligraphy, make cards, do sudoku and jigsaws on my iPad. I go to yoga/fitness classes 3/4 times a week which might involve a bit of social interaction with other people. Now things are opening up I see friends or family a couple of times a week. I go to the theatre most weeks. With all that, household jobs, cooking and running errands for my mum the days fly by.

I like to do everything in my own. I never get to any more because we're both WFH and I have a toddler.

Top favourite things to do alone would be:

Housework - no need to consider whether someone else will be annoyed by the hoover/open windows/mess before it's properly tidied

Day out shopping

Bike ride or long walk

Cinema

Mooch around the house doing nothing much but in SILENCE.

Oh god I miss being alone. I have a half hour train ride tomorrow and am so looking forward to it!

If I had the time I’d join a local Ramblers group.

Otherwise cooking new things and swimming more. And have a nice long potter around the library.

I am a lifelong expatriate and also wfh so have always done things alone, more so now that the DC are young adults.
I go to museums, galleries, parks, the cinema.... I even travel alone if Dh or DS are busy. I find trying to accomodate other people's schedules stressful and it is easier to just do it all alone.

This thread is like a balm to my soul. At the moment I'm in the thick of career and parenting. Can't wait until my rare alone days get more regular.

@HattieBlue

Listen to audio books normally while doing something else like jigsaw, walk etc. Projects round house that I never normally get time for, baking, catching up on TV that I actually like, planning perfect trip away once covid over, online quizzes, sorting out digital photos to make albums, exercising, treat myself to magazine and sit in coffee shop, mooch round shops, Bath with good book I am very happy in my own company I love meeting friends and family but also love space on my own. I only get odd few hours on my own which I treasure.

Can you recommend some online quizzes? I love quizzes, although I'm not very good.

I LOVE time on my own (though perhaps this is because it's quite rare, not sure I'd like it all the time). I could read forever given the chance, but also watch things on TV that nobody else in the house likes, have baths, phone family members to catch up, colouring books, diamond painting, play games on my iPad .. all with a lovely scented candle or wax melt, and a nice hot brew. Bliss.

I've got really unsociable in my old age (53,) and don't really bother with people any more. I work 2 and a half days a week and find that enough, I'm very chatty in work.
I like to read, swim, listen to music and nap

I love time on my own
I read books, watch stuff husband doesn’t want to watch, go for a swim, stuff like that

I live alone, have done so for years after my marriage ended and the children grew up. I absolutely love it, wouldn't have life any other way now.

What do I do with my alone time? All the normal things really. Every day I go shopping, clean the house, do the food shop, chill in front of a favourite programme on TV. I do my own painting and decorating so I'm often painting walls, or repainting a cupboard etc.

I'm quite crafty so I sew things (not very often!) but I do write...currently I'm trying to write my life story. I read a lot, mostly non-fiction...autobiographies and so on. I go for long walks down the country lanes, often 6 or 7 miles. I'm interested in nature and take my binoculars for bird watching. I have a sketch book and practise sketching....I also do watercolour painting.

For special times I go out, I am happy to go out for a meal alone but I almost always end up chatting to people. I meet with friends or (before COVID) would go round to a neighbours for a coffee and chat, it might be daytime or evening. I'd love to have a garden but currently I don't; however, I do help a friend with their garden, it's exercise, fun and good conversation. I am even happy to go on holiday alone but nearer home I will happily go for the day to see a place I haven't visited before (eg. York, Stratford etc.) and do the town centre, the museums and art galleries, the shops....

There are so many things to do alone...but they are all normal stuff. Why would it be different because someone is on their own? Research some crafts or hobbies you might be interested in taking up or, if you want to get out of the house, book weekend classes of some sort....art groups, salsa, exercise class or whatever....

I've two teens who are now into doing their own thing as well, mainly reading, swimming and meeting up with elderly relative who is recently bereaved. Helping a neighbour, walks etc.