Low risk women/better birth facilities - unfair?

[Glassofshloer]

When DD was a baby we attended a breastfeeding appointment at my local stand-alone birth centre and WOW! To say it was gorgeous is an understatement - double bed, huge whirlpool bath thing, fairy lights and bouncy balls in every room. Looked like the Ritz compared to the tiny, dimly lit room on the CDU where I gave birth. Just a bed and some wall stickers of flowers

AIBU to think this is unfair on high risk/Consultant led women? And that we all deserve equal facilities, high risk or not? Fully prepared to be told IABU!

I think the “fairy lights and mood music” comments can go to hell, frankly. DD1 was MLU. This time round I gave birth (c section via induction) in delivery/wards - 12 hours ago. Having an induction absolutely set me on a track to an intervention-heavy birth. The noise, the lack of privacy, lack of space, assumption that I’d blithely agree to everything the staff suggested even though I knew statistically how it’d go. I had to fight my corner, repeatedly. The the postnatal ward - people alongside me are fairly considerate but I’m in a pool of my blood, catheter still in, buzzer responded to v slowly, not mobilised, unable to pick up my babies, tired. So much to improve upon here and fairy lights don’t crack the top 10.

I wasn’t high risk, but after lots of losses, I ended up opting for MLU so I was close to docs if needed (no reason to think they would be. God, I wanted the local, homely maternity hospital, but I ended up deciding I wanted that safety net more. I really wish I could have had both, but I had fantastic care, which is the most important bit.

Do fairy lights and double beds make a difference when you’re in established labour?

I gave birth in a small room on Labour ward (I wanted to be close to a theatre with doctors on hand if anything went wrong). Beyond 9cm I don’t think I registered my environment! I can’t imagine thinking about mood lighting or bouncy balls when entering transition. Maybe in the very early stages of labour those play a part (eg helping you relax, the ball stimulating contractions etc) but do women go to the birthing centre in very early labour? I thought you stay home as long as possible like consultant led?

When I had a tour of labour ward they had some rooms with water baths, some active birthing rooms with ropes and mats, mood lighting etc. But when my time came I was lucky to get a room there at all as it was full on arrival.

I had a decent sized en suite room, clean, clinical yes but then it’s a hospital! There was access to a midwife all the time, gas&air, diamorphine, the option to request an epidural. My baby was back to back and a tricky presentation so I’m glad I was in hospital not stuck in a stand alone unit waiting to be blue lighted to hospital.

It is a bit shit giving birth in hospital. But it's about safety i suppose. If you're high risk you're safer on a ward where the staff can keep an eye on you post birth and I guess it's less intrusive for them to waft past your bay occasionally and discreetly look on on you both than come in and out of a side room constantly.

Your comment about the mum with GD not really being high risk doesn't make sense - mum may or may not not need interventions but with GD the baby definitely needs to have doctors on hand and blood sugar monitoring post birth at the very least.

I think most people accept that while the lovely rooms and atmosphere in MLU would be much nicer and more conducive to an easy birth, hospitals just don't have the room for all of that or the resources to staff and clean all of those individuals rooms and additional equipment.

Hosps have limited space and resources.

If I was high risk I'd rather have the full medical shebang on hand.

I chose to go hosp.

In the end it went badly.

Midwife was totally useless.

Baby in distress, meconium, I knew it was wrong. Vomiting, pain like knives twisting inside. And worse than the pain was the intense knowing that something was just really wrong.

Eventually she got doc. One look at readouts one look at me. 2 mins. EMCS decision. 10 mins later in theatre and a good thing too.

That's just me though. I feel v comfy in hosps and trust docs generally.

Midwife was so awful it was mind boggling.

My experience others have different.

I am also not into fairy lights and mood music. And I'm not at all, not sure of word.

Ante natal relax low lights breathe etc. Got on my tits totally.

Horses for courses.

@MelKarnofskyCrane

I mean I see your point. But I feel like there are probably more pressing issues facing the NHS at the moment than making sure the Labour ward has fairy lights

I think focusing on the lights is a really unfair attempt at trivializing the point she was making. That facilities at the MLU and the CLU should not be so disparate. The wider issue is that there shouldn’t really be so many pressing issues with the NHS that this can’t be the case.

In the next county to me you can give birth in a usual hospital & then transfer to a unit with individual ensuite rooms, double bed, coffee machine, microwave, sound system TV etc for a week or 2 weeks after a CS to enable BF & recover if you have had a traumatic birth. It should be gold standard in every area. My friend's daughter went for a week after giving birth to both her children, the eldest was allowed for a sleepover the last night before they all went home after ds2 was born.

I gave birth at 1am and my husband said to the nurses if you can’t provide food and drink can you at least take me back to the midwife centre to use their kitchen and get a ready meal? They said no. He had to go out and fetch me a takeaway!
Quite right too.
The NHS is on it's knees, hospitals are full of elderly vulnerable people. They can not and should not prioritise food and drink for fit and healthy visitors of healthy young women who have just given birth.

Did you not bring food ? Every birthing book since the beginning of time tells you you will be hungry, it might be the middle of the night pack something.

They can not and should not prioritise food and drink for fit and healthy visitors of healthy young women who have just given birth.

That poster was clearly referring to food for her, the post-partum woman. And no, not everyone turns up to hospital with enough notice to pack a few meals for themselves. Given spending elsewhere in the service some toast, jam, porridge (costs pence) seems like a thing to provide.

I cannot believe they didn't provide tea and toast for the patient (the woman) it is absolutely standard practice. Accompanying birth partners through the hospital to get ready meals is clearly a complete waste of health care professional's time. I stand by my comments post partum women and their partners are the most able people in the whole hospital to look after themselves, which is why they are to a large extent left to it. Midwives and doctors are there to save you and the baby's lives if needed not to provide 5* room service.

I had my ds in an ageing hospital in the west country, partly staffed by the army. There were no fairy lights and only one room had a birthing pool.

But to be honest, does it matter? By the time contractions are 5 minutes apart, I couldn't have cared less. It was spotlessly clean, I was able to give birth in the position I found easiest and when DS got stuck, the crash team was there in less than 10 seconds.

That was much more important.

Do fairy lights and double beds make a difference when you’re in established labour?

But a lot of women on CDU aren’t in established labour if they’re being induced.

I was taken to CDU at 2am, had my waters popped & then had 4 hours of early labour before they decided to put me on the drip. In hindsight I started having regular contractions immediately, baby was fine and there was no need to put me on a drip other than to speed things up presumably for their own convenience - had my waters broken naturally, I would’ve been sent home for 24 hours to see if labour started on its own, so not sure what the difference is 🤷🏼‍♀️ but that’s another story..

Anyway, I really would’ve liked a pool for those first few hours at least, I was exhausted and in pain but instead had to walk around a tiny room, half of which was taken up by my bags.

DH was also exhausted after being awake for 24 hours, and could’ve done with a nap on a double bed/sofa bed rather than sat upright in a plastic chair. Yes, I know the NHS doesn’t ‘owe’ anything to birth partners, but given they rely on them for postnatal care these days, it would’ve been much better had one of us been rested.

Baby was born in the late afternoon and we were immediately wheeled off to postnatal ward - certainly within half an hour at most. Postnatal ward was a bay of 8(!!) women and their newborns, at that point I hadn’t slept for nearly 2 days but couldn’t drop off because of the level of noise in the room. One lady was watching Love Island off her phone in the opposite bed with no headphones.

I had had a lot of stitches and really couldn’t climb out of bed or stand to reach DD, if I pushed the bell it would take a long time for anyone to come. I wanted to send DH home but I had no choice but to ask him to stay because I couldn’t cope on my own.

I was on that ward for 4 days, every day it was full of visitors and children running around, including in and out of my cubicle when my stitches were being examined because they had become infected. Which was humiliating to say the least.

I was nearly hallucinating with exhaustion by the time I was discharged, it took me a very long time to physically recover from a relatively straightforward birth which I put down to the sheer stress and exhaustion of my experience.

So yes I do feel it’s very unfair that some women have the whole pool, double bed, quiet room, one-on-one midwife experience just because they happen not to have my medical condition. It feels like being kicked when you’re already down to be honest.

*Note I said nothing about fairy lights.

@MintJulia

I had my ds in an ageing hospital in the west country, partly staffed by the army. There were no fairy lights and only one room had a birthing pool.

But to be honest, does it matter? By the time contractions are 5 minutes apart, I couldn't have cared less. It was spotlessly clean, I was able to give birth in the position I found easiest and when DS got stuck, the crash team was there in less than 10 seconds.

That was much more important.

Salisbury by any chance?

@traumatisednoodle

Did you not bring food ? Every birthing book since the beginning of time tells you you will be hungry, it might be the middle of the night pack something.

I was induced. It was day 4 by the time DS was born, and I’d vomited nearly everything I’d eaten during labour (ie the last 3 days). How much food should I have packed?!

And like many women on the post partum ward, I could barely stand and had a catheter in. Because if you weren’t in that state you would be discharged from the labour ward. Not exactly feeling fit to care for myself, let alone a new baby.

You are right OP but there are so many areas of the NHS that need extra funding that it’s unlikely to be a priority. The environment around you makes a big difference but the main thing is the staff. If you have well trained, confident, competent and resourced staff then that’s so much more important so I’d prioritise that over the environment but both would be ideal.

@Hamtonn why do you keep talking about your husband having a bed? Does he not have one at home? Was it him who gave birth?

Yes, bless them, Salisbury. And they were fabulous. No frills but the care was superb. I had FOUR days being nursed back to my feet. It was wonderful.

They can not and should not prioritise food and drink for fit and healthy visitors of healthy young women who have just given birth.
I’m talking about food and drink for ME. A new mum who’d just had an emergency c section and hadn’t eaten for 48 hours whilst in labour. Where did I say my DH was looking for food for himself? He had to go hunting for food for me because I wasn’t offered anything and I felt faint and sick. The nurses didn’t give a shit, they just said I’d have to wait 8hrs for breakfast to be brought round. It’s ridiculous that the midwife centre has a kitchen with free ready meals to help yourself but there’s nothing available for patients on the ward. There weren’t even any facilities for him to make me a cup of tea, never mind anything else.

I think most people accept that while the lovely rooms and atmosphere in MLU would be much nicer and more conducive to an easy birth, hospitals just don't have the room for all of that or the resources to staff and clean all of those individuals rooms and additional equipment.
Ok, so don’t have those rooms at all then? My point is that it’s unfair to have those facilities for one group of women but not for another group.

Did you not bring food ?
Yes. I packed teabags, pop tarts, instant porridge. Because I was being admitted to a MLU with kitchen facilities. Then they moved me to a high risk ward and there were no facilities to toast anything or even boil a kettle.

I find it interesting that when women receive unequal or substandard care, they’re expected to be all self-sacrificing and ‘greater good’ about it. I’ve never heard a man excuse his poor care by talking about lack of funds and greater need elsewhere, etc.

@Hamtonn

They can not and should not prioritise food and drink for fit and healthy visitors of healthy young women who have just given birth. I’m talking about food and drink for ME. A new mum who’d just had an emergency c section and hadn’t eaten for 48 hours whilst in labour. Where did I say my DH was looking for food for himself? He had to go hunting for food for me because I wasn’t offered anything and I felt faint and sick. The nurses didn’t give a shit, they just said I’d have to wait 8hrs for breakfast to be brought round. It’s ridiculous that the midwife centre has a kitchen with free ready meals to help yourself but there’s nothing available for patients on the ward. There weren’t even any facilities for him to make me a cup of tea, never mind anything else.

My friend had similar, gave birth at 10pm and was told she would have to wait for breakfast. As it was during covid if her partner left he wouldn't be able to come back. She only had a packet of sweets as she was sent from a midwife appointment straight to the ward due to concerns. Not even toast and tea.