To think parents who do this are hypocrites

[Cazzovuoi]

I'm so sad for all the kids who will miss the magic of Santa because parents don't want to lie to their kids.

It's a bizarre concept to me that you think letting your kids believe in a wonderful magical, mythical person is lying yet, if you are religious, you actively teach them to believe in a malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel being so controlling that he takes attendance on Sunday.

At least Santa was a real person.

in terms of myths it's a rather blunt one.

I don't agree with this at all, it's always struck me as incredibly evocative and versatile, taking many forms across the world.

I always felt a bit weird lying to DC. It was a huge relief when it was finally figured out - but also a bit of sadness that the magic was over. I explained to DC why we weren’t truthful about that, the tooth fairy and easter bunny and that It felt odd lying and a relief to stop so that DC knew we weren’t in the habit of lying. I also talked about how lovely it felt to create the magic. It was a ‘both/and’ situation for me.

Your thread is really quite bigoted, people's traditions, religion and culture is unbelievably varied throughout the world.

War and hate so often stems from one group thinking their beliefs, their way of life is the correct one and everything else is wrong.

The world doesn't start and end with the things that are important to you.

These threads appear every year & I find them totally fascinating!

I was raised in Ireland in the 70s & 80s in a practising Catholic family & Santa was a huge part of growing up for us.

I think, from what I've read here over the years, that Santa was / is far more universally accepted there than in UK.

I don't think the general population of Ireland is massively traumatised by their collective childhood belief in Santa at all.

When I was growing up We ALL believed fervently & for far longer than seems the case in the UK. I was at least 11 before one of my older cousins told me & she also told me it was our job to keep it going for our younger siblings. Which we did. We have a large age gap in our family & i was still writing letters to Santa with my youngest sibling when I was 17 & none of that bothered or traumatized me at all.

Times were hard & money was tight for a lot of people in ireland in the 70s & 80s & yet parents created this time of wonder for their children. A pp said that the excitement of the build up & the lying awake on Christmas eve in anticipation listening for sleigh bells meant even the most modest gifts were viewed through the lens of the magic of Santa & I don't ever remember being disappointed by anything I received or comparing it to what others got. And I know there must have been lean years for sure.

My dh grew up in an English home where Santa / Christmas were not really celebrated. V little effort was made at all. He didn't 'get' it when we met. He celebrated a few Christmases with my family before we had dc of our own & he was happy for us to continue my traditions & now he's the biggest fan of us all.

The traditions are more than Santa- they're the rituals we carry from year to year & give us a real sense of belonging, of family, of comfort. Our Dc love them too & even now as teens won't consider deviations.

For my dh who never had any of that growing up, it's something he cherishes & he gets quite sentimental at Christmas time.

We've never told our dc there's no Santa! We carry on every year exactly the same ad the last - stockings are hung, mince pie & whiskey is left out. Presents appear overnight & stockings get filled.

@Icecreamsoda99

My atheist friend doesn't let her children believe in Santa as she says it's the same as lying about there being a God. I also have religious relatives who don't have Santa because they want their children to believe in God and don't see how they can lie about Santa and then expect their kids to believe in what they tell them about God.

Many cultures don't have the jolly man in the red suit and perfectly happy and well adjusted.

Yes to your last sentence, and I think some of the people on here must have children in completely monocultural situations. DS was at a little village school, but there were still a significant minority of children in his class in the junior years of primary who came from Muslim, Sikh, or Orthodox Christian backgrounds who didn’t do Santa Claus/Father Christmas. He had no issue with the ‘Some people believe’ approach to both religion and SC.

Live and let live.
Why do you go to church? From your OP you don't sound like you believe in the Christain god.
My family didn't do Santa growing up, nor do I for my own children. I don't think there's any harm in 'lying' or childhood fantasy such as the tooth fairy etc. Santa is more complicated because it's being good. Is a child whose stocking is the size of a pillow case, potentially with big gifts in better behaved than a child with a normal stocking with small gifts? Some people do all gifts from Santa. I remember an awfully disruptive and naughty child bragging about how good he was and all he got, I think in year 2. I let the cat out the bag and said something along the lines of 'if Santa were real, you'd of got coal'. I was a quiet child usually but that annoyed me massively. The whole Santa thing is problematic and I can see why people opt out of it.
Everyone comes from different religions, viewpoints, so what if Santa doesn't appeal to them. They're hardly missing out.

Ah this shite again. Yeah my DD is so abused and missing out on so much with all her lovely presents. It would be SO much magical if she believed in a fictional fat man with a sackful of presents but sadly her her her mother is a miserable bitch eh.

TheKeatingFive

Why should mothers toil, save, and do all the work of Christmas so a magical man in red suit who breaks into the house gets all the credit

Because the excitement that it gives your children is something that you can’t recreate by handing a child a present

Whilst other religions don’t do Santa they do have similar traditions surrounding giving children presents. (Some even involve white bearded old guys). I doubt those who follow those traditions want to take all the credit.

I don't think you meant to tag me bythemillpond as I was just quoting another poster. I totally agree with you.

I see OP has done a runner

And yet so many people who’ve been “lied” to manage to have completely normal relationships with their parents. How do you manage your children to not ruin the magic for other lids? The ones who’s parents weren’t miserable twats?

I just teach my kids that we all do things differently and that’s okay. A lesson that seems to have escaped many on this thread.

@Lavender24

Ah this shite again. Yeah my DD is so abused and missing out on so much with all her lovely presents. It would be SO much magical if she believed in a fictional fat man with a sackful of presents but sadly her her her mother is a miserable bitch eh.

The thing is; you've just trotted out that nonsense, nobody on the thread has said anything remotely like it. Strange, that... Has something touched a nerve?

@nanbread

My problem with Santa is the whole "kids who are good get more" bollocks.

When my DC saw their relative get a stocking 6 times the size of theirs and wondered what they'd done wrong it felt really shit (as their relative said something like "wow I must have been really good this year!").

Then I think of the poor kids who might get almost nothing and think they must be awful people.

We do usually do Santa but in a small way, however I'm increasingly uncomfortable with it and planning on breaking the news this year.

This is a good point. For me, the pleasure is in the exchange of gifts and not telling that this comes from mum and dad, this from granny and grandad… is such a shame. My parents gave us stockings from Father Christmas when we woke up and then all the gifts under the tree were properly labelled as from the giver. I thought it was such a neat way to handle it and we got the best of both worlds. It’s always a divisive topic and a crucial flaw on getting children to believe in Santa is the expectation that the whole of society will upload the lie for you. I don’t think any parents should feel pressured into telling their children Santa is real just as a safety to prevent them telling other kids it’s a lie. I never have any sympathy for parents who moan because their precious child found out from another kid in school that Santa isn’t real.

We are religious and do attend church. We also did Santa and stockings etc. D.C. were at a church school and as far as I know very family did both. Santa even turns up at the church hall after mass on Christmas Day. At one service I attended the priest took a speaker phone call on his mobile phone on the altar after the service ended (shock horror). The call was from Santa to let him know that there were presents for the kids under the tree. They were all awestruck that he has Santa's number in his phone and that the two of them were on first name terms!

Jehovah's Witnesses are Christians that don't do presents or encourage secular traditions at Christmas time but there are very few of them in relation to the more mainstream churches. They are also a singularly joyless bunch.

At least Santa was a real person

God is also real for those who are religious.

Your post seems quite odd and deranged OP

nobody on the thread has said anything remotely like it. Strange, that...

@GreyhoundG1rl

People have said just that. I’ve just quoted a poster referring to anyone who doesn’t do Santa as ‘miserable twats.’ And the opening post was specifically about how sad it was for children who don’t do Santa.

On my part I don’t care if other families do Santa or not but why the aggression towards those who don’t? Everyone can do things differently as suits them.

@Kanaloa

nobody on the thread has said anything remotely like it. Strange, that...

@GreyhoundG1rl

People have said just that. I’ve just quoted a poster referring to anyone who doesn’t do Santa as ‘miserable twats.’ And the opening post was specifically about how sad it was for children who don’t do Santa.

On my part I don’t care if other families do Santa or not but why the aggression towards those who don’t? Everyone can do things differently as suits them.

Ah right, sorry. Yeah, I don't get the aggression either, from either side.
It makes zero difference to anyone else what your family traditions are, it's not a case for smugness however superior you privately think yours are. And we all think ours are, or we wouldn't do it 🤷🏻‍♀️

When people talk in such disparaging terms about religion, are they just talking about Christianity or are you all bold enough to admit you're talking about Islam and Hinduism too??

I do Santa but not much.
I find the whole concept extremely dated and children just don't believe any more.

If I had my kids again (7,11)now I wouldn't do Christmas it's never meant a thing to me I've just went along with it all this time cause everyone hypes it up.

I've always felt rather bored about Christmas.

Real life and responsibilities will catch up with them soon enough, I hope my kids believe and enjoy the magic for as long as possible.

Father Christmas is a personification of charity, kindness, generosity, hope, imagination. This is important.

And yes sky daddy and Jesus are important too for similar values and because they’ve been super imposed on the old pagan traditions of the solstice and sacrifice and hope for the sun (life) to return at the darkest point of the year.

It all ties in together and shows us how we can experience the best and brightest human values at the darkest time. It’s important for resilience if nothing else to practice this.

So please less of this “I confuse imagination and wonder with lying and prefer to be controlling. So I wont let children experience hope or believe in magic or that there is more to life than we can understand and see and that that’s ok.” Anyway what was I saying? Colour outside the lines or some shit? Oh yeah just let people enjoy themselves at a shitty, dark time and please let your kids have a childhood that is not just about achievement, chores and schedules, it’ll make them better people I promise.

@GreyhoundG1rl

Yeah I agree with you. Everyone of course thinks their way is the best way. I think what’s started the aggression is of course people feel defensive when op goadily says how she feels ‘so sad’ for these kids as if they’re suffering terribly when in fact they’re just doing something different.

It’s pretty clear op started this thread specifically to make people feel bad/sneer at other people’s choices so it isn’t surprising that it then turned into this.

YANBU OP. The magic of Christmas and Santa Claus IS childhood. I feel so sorry for the kids whose parents deny them this.

Santa is absolutely as real as you and I, I met him in Lapland with my DD, 🎅🎅🤣

How do those parents who are 'honest' stop their kids from spoiling it for other children whose families do go along with Santa?

Why should they? Its not their job to prop up lies other parents tell their kids.