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Original poster

To think parents who do this are hypocrites

431 replies

Cazzovuoi · 10/10/2021 16:08

I'm so sad for all the kids who will miss the magic of Santa because parents don't want to lie to their kids.

It's a bizarre concept to me that you think letting your kids believe in a wonderful magical, mythical person is lying yet, if you are religious, you actively teach them to believe in a malevolent, omnipotent, all powerful, cruel being so controlling that he takes attendance on Sunday.

At least Santa was a real person.

OP posts:
Lana07 · 10/10/2021 21:28

*I stopped

TheKeatingFive · 10/10/2021 21:29

I see them as very similar.

They're myths that capture what humans would like to believe about the world.

The first is our desire to conquer death and be presided over by a omnipotent, well meaning deity.

The second is wanting to believe that spontaneous generosity and kindness exists in the world.

I hold out a lot more hope for the latter being true actually.

Pixxie7 · 10/10/2021 21:30

suspiria777@ no I admit I didn’t really but would to know more feel free to answer me directly I would welcome the chance to have a better understanding of the Jewish religion.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/10/2021 21:35

@riotlady

Surely it’s more hypocritical to celebrate a religious festival when you’re apparently completely contemptuous of that religion?
It’s not just a religious festival - never has been. The old pagan Midwinter festival (and goodness knows a Northern European midwinter needs something to cheer it up a bit) merged with the Christian festival. The traditions of the holly and the ivy, the tree (all evergreens) have pagan origins, ditto the Yule log. In Sweden (and I dare say in other Scandi countries) they still call Christmas Jul (Yule).
nanbread · 10/10/2021 21:37

My problem with Santa is the whole "kids who are good get more" bollocks.

When my DC saw their relative get a stocking 6 times the size of theirs and wondered what they'd done wrong it felt really shit (as their relative said something like "wow I must have been really good this year!").

Then I think of the poor kids who might get almost nothing and think they must be awful people.

We do usually do Santa but in a small way, however I'm increasingly uncomfortable with it and planning on breaking the news this year.

Toooldforthis321 · 10/10/2021 21:40

Such bitterness op.
Have you considered talking to Jesus about it?

Catlover77 · 10/10/2021 21:48

@Toooldforthis321

Such bitterness op. Have you considered talking to Jesus about it?
She could try but he doesn’t exist
Takemetothe90s · 10/10/2021 21:50

[quote TReXX]@Takemetothe90s
Why? That's exactly what it felt like.

Excuse me for being articulate.[/quote]
Ok. God knows how you’d cope with real trauma.

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/10/2021 21:51

@Toooldforthis321

Such bitterness op. Have you considered talking to Jesus about it?
😂😂😂
Piapiano · 10/10/2021 21:55

My DC were scared at the idea of a strange man coming into their bedroom at night while they were asleep so I ended up telling them he didn't exist when they were very young! Christmas can still be magical without a fat man in a red suit.

I also feel uncomfortable about lying to DC. How can you teach them it's wrong to lie and then tell them a whopping big lie every year? I wasn't traumatised when I found out as a child but I do remember feeling disappointed in my parents who had taught me that lying is wrong and then I found out they had been lying to me. It destroys trust to some extent.

SylvanasWindrunner · 10/10/2021 21:56

I have very happy memories of Santa. He brought the stocking and one gift left by my grandparents' fireplace. We left him a mince pie, some whisky, and a carrot for the reindeer. I did find it sort of magical, and I'll do the same with DD because it's a family tradition I suppose and part of what makes Christmas special for us.

I think it's unlikely that a well-adjusted child with a good relationship with their parents will lose trust in them over something like Santa and still be thinking about it/affected by it years later. I can't remember what age I was when I found out, but I just asked my mum if she was Santa and she said yes and that was that.

JojobaFromOctober · 10/10/2021 22:02

I felt pretty clever when I worked out Father Christmas wasn't real! Like I'd solved a mystery, I was really proud of myself. It's funny how people experience these things so differently.

TheKeatingFive · 10/10/2021 22:05

How can you teach them it's wrong to lie and then tell them a whopping big lie every year?

Because you acknowledge 'truth' isn't a black and white concept.

Parents lie to their children all the time (what a lovely picture darling, of course I knew what it was, aren't you talented'). Only a very literal mind would see this as a bad thing.

For me, Santa is a lovely way to convey bigger truths about the world. I love that my parents chose to teach me those in this way and I'll do the same for my own children.

What anyone else does however, is entirely up to them

DancyNancy · 10/10/2021 22:08

Hate lying. I don't say anything directly about Santa to them but haven't told them otherwise. They pick up from others. I say 'Christmas list' not gifts from Santa. I'm also not religious. Hate the hypocrisy of the church.
Genuinely for me my favourite part of Xmas is family stuff I've been doing since childhood.
We do very modest gifts in my family. Dh family hold much more weight on presents.

TooBigForMyBoots · 10/10/2021 22:33

18:24SleepingStandingUp

TooBigForMyBoots

Stop

And it will surely mean you get Coal in your sack
Fucking right @SleepingStandingUp. Santa does not like that shit.Shock He's lovely.Grin

Gwrach · 10/10/2021 22:39

As a Christian family, we celebrate Christmas for what it is, the celebration of the birth of Christ.

We also however have "father Christmas" but my only child is 7 now and hedging his bets. I think this will be our last year.

I've just let him slowly figure it out himself, I'm sure other children in his class by now don't believe, and he's picking up on that. He hasn't directly asked "is father Christmas real? But he has let slip already "I know it's you mummy" and I just wink. There's no need for some earth shattering conversation about it and even myself who's father blurted out whilst balancing on a ladder at 2am one Christmas morning and I heard him shouted "damn, ok there's no Santa, it's me and your mum, now go back to bed so I can go to bed" can't say I was traumatized age 6 to find this out 🤷🏻‍♀️

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2021 22:42

@TooBigForMyBoots

18:24SleepingStandingUp

TooBigForMyBoots

Stop

And it will surely mean you get Coal in your sack
Fucking right @SleepingStandingUp. Santa does not like that shit.Shock He's lovely.Grin

He doesn't like that language either young Boots!!
youvegottenminuteslynn · 10/10/2021 22:49

I remember feeling sad when I believed in santa that other kids got loads of stuff and I didn't get much at all. I thought it meant I had been naughty even though I was a very well behaved wee thing. It is a weird thing people teach their kids by default - that if they're good, they'll get presents. Looking back as an adult, it makes me feel really sad as my parents must have felt guilty they couldn't 'reward' me as much as other parents no matter how 'nice' I was that year. It's one of those things that went you step back is pretty fucked up as a lesson for kids.

dongke · 10/10/2021 22:54

How can you teach them it's wrong to lie and then tell them a whopping big lie every year?

But we are taught to lie! In many circumstances it's socially the norm to lie.

dongke · 10/10/2021 22:55

Because you acknowledge 'truth' isn't a black and white concept.

Exactly! is this really a revelation?

SleepingStandingUp · 10/10/2021 23:02

Mommy can I be a doctor when I'm bigger? Probably not, you're of average intelligence.
Mommy do you like my singing? No you sound like a strangled cat.
Mommy are you having fun playing rainbow unicorns for the 40th time this week? No you're annoying the hell out of me and I'm bored of neighing.
Is Santa real? No, it's just Dad banging about.
When Nanny died did it hurt? Yes, it was a slow and agonising death
Are you going to die soon Mommy? Possibly, Mommy's die every day.
Mommy will I die soon? Possibly, children die every day.

Do people really subscribe to total honesty with their young children?

Blackalice · 10/10/2021 23:03

Lying to your children about Santa seems a good way to break their trust in you, make a mockery of teaching them to be honest and make it hard for them to resist the bribery and threats many people use regarding Santa. My 3 kids have had wonderful and magical Christmases and all state they are glad we never lied about Santa to them (they are teens now) We also don't lie about there being gods or anything else so definitely aren't hypocritical. I think that you are being very unreasonable.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 10/10/2021 23:09

You do realize that Chirstmas is celebrated in other cultures, too? Your culture is not the only one. And that the remembrance of the birth of Jesus (placed at the turn of the year when the light = hope comes back) has nothing to do with gifts?
Shall I pity your children because they do not have Befana in their lives? Or remember the life and death of St. Nikolaus and Krampus on the 6ths?

GreyhoundG1rl · 10/10/2021 23:12

and all state they are glad we never lied about Santa to them (they are teens now)
God, do they really? Confused. They're quite hung up on the whole thing even though you never lied to them about it, aren't they? 🤔

Blackalice · 10/10/2021 23:29

Not hung up about it at all 🙄 It just came up in conversation when some old woman said something about being good for Santa and they were all laughing about it in the car afterwards. Honestly 🙄