Shall I report this colleague?

[Rubiconmangojuice]

I’ve posted once about her before. We’re home care workers, and sometimes I only work with her once a week, other times 3/4 times a week, it depends.

I have just gotten really fed up with her rude way of speaking. She’s been doing this for many years and is close to retirement age, maybe she thinks I’m not as competent as I’m newer to the role, who knows.

Things she says are in an exasperated tone, both to me and to service users. Some of our clients are chair bound and need to be hoisted, hence why these visits are with 2 carers.

She will say stuff like ‘What ARE you doing?’ , today she said ‘You’re not doing this right AT ALL’.

I was going to put something in the lady’s washing basket and she sounded annoyed saying ‘WHY are you putting that in there you don’t need to!’ I however I looked and there was a large wet patch on it so yes, I did need to.

She speaks to me rudely in front of clients too. We help to wash a lady, and this lady asked me to wash under her arm. I did, and the carer was at the other side of her so I assumed she would do the other arm, but before I could do anything she said ‘Well obviously if she can’t wash the left one herself she’s not gonna do the other one herself, is she?’

Other times it will just be ‘oh God’ and tutting.

I haven’t had this with any other carer. If I sometimes do things wrong, they explain in a polite manner. I’ve never received any complaints and the manager told me yesterday that I had had excellent feedback from clients.

It’s just this colleague who’s making me feel rubbish at the job and like an idiot.

She’s sometimes rude to clients too in the same way. I always try to justify what I’m doing and say that I am doing X, or that I know how to do x already etc.

I don’t feel comfortable confronting her. Would it be wise for me to call my office team to discuss the issues with them?

It’s just getting me down, but I’ve had it in most of my jobs. The majority of people in the jobs I’ve had have been great, but there’s always one rude or unpleasant person, every single time.

You have to report it to your charge nurse or manager. She's rude to the service users and they can't go anywhere or do anything about it.

You report this to your manager and do not justify yourself or let her argue in front of clients, they not to say anything in deont of them, I wonder if you would be allowed to record her behaviour.

raise it with your line manager - what did posters suggest on your previous thread?

Thanks for the replies.

An example is a client with dementia who often gets items confused. We put something in front of him and he asked what it was. She went, “It’s lunch, what does it look like!” she shouldn’t be speaking to any of them in that way.

Other people have maybe had the same experience, I’ve never seen her working with others so cannot comment, but I know she’s been there for almost 20 years.

She’s snatched things from me too before.

Mention to your manager. I had similar experience except she used to blank me and say things out loud. It would be directed at me but indirectly.

I heard her speaking rudely to a service user so I reported it. Whatever about speaking to me or not speaking to me I won't have my clients being spoken to like that.
I didn't do anything wrong for her to treat me like this except once I made a genuine mistake and didn't do a task. I apologised to her but she didn't accept apology.
I know how it makes you feel OP, I was really questioning my competence as a carer until I spoke to my manager. I don't like being on shift with her but I have come to the realisation it's not me that is the issue and that I'm the bigger person. I greet her and then go on about my job. She usually doesn't greet me.
If was you I would 100% speak to a manager, maybe indirectly at first. Keep a log of what she is saying to you.

I am sick of jobs being ruined by having one person like this. I thought I’d hit the jackpot finding a job where I’m mainly on my own, not only based in one place etc. Everything else is good apart from this, but certain people have a way of making you feel rubbish.

I feel better about speaking to management now.

Another problem (that I can’t do anything about) is that she smokes in the car between visits and it’s difficult to cope with. I don’t drive so we have to go in hers, I don’t feel that I can ask her to not smoke as it’s her car, but I don’t want to be exposed to all of her second hand smoke. She’s never asked if I minded

You literally posted about her the day before yesterday.

What different answers are you hoping for?

Regarding the smoking in her own car. You might have a case for getting that stopped if the company are paying anything towards it - like petrol/insurance etc.

Otherwise it's up to her what she does.

Sadly the company pay nothing towards mileage or fuel so not sure if anything would happen

You have a duty of care to report

I would raise this to your team manager. Chances are if you are feeling it, other are feeling the same. Often people don't speak up because they hope the problem will go away, the behaviour is left unaddressed with the person and they then don't understand that they are causing issues for others.

You can share your perception of this person with your manage and give specific examples of things which have happened - directed to you and directed towards the people you look after.

It will be worth writing down the examples first before raising it, then when you do talk with someone about it you are not having to recall on the spot - sometimes the gravity of the even is lost when trying to explain it to others and poor behaviour doesn't seem that bad when others are hearing about it.

If something isn't said now, this person behaviour isn't going to change - they may not even realise how the come across or there might be something else going on for them

That's disgusting behaviour. Report her

@Rubiconmangojuice

Sadly the company pay nothing towards mileage or fuel so not sure if anything would happen

It won't then as she's doing you a favour.

i wo9uld point out how she treats the client rather than you

not sure about the smoking thing-if they want you to get somewhere and its on you to find a way

She sounds awful. Report immediately and don't let her get away with treating vulnerable people like that, it's disgraceful.

@Rubiconmangojuice

I am sick of jobs being ruined by having one person like this. I thought I’d hit the jackpot finding a job where I’m mainly on my own, not only based in one place etc. Everything else is good apart from this, but certain people have a way of making you feel rubbish.

I feel better about speaking to management now.

Another problem (that I can’t do anything about) is that she smokes in the car between visits and it’s difficult to cope with. I don’t drive so we have to go in hers, I don’t feel that I can ask her to not smoke as it’s her car, but I don’t want to be exposed to all of her second hand smoke. She’s never asked if I minded

Some people are just rude and some people just don't get along well, but I don't think there's really anything to report here, is there?

The smoking in the car thing is horrible, but is she driving you as a favour, or is it part of her contract? If it's as a favour there's not much you can do other than find alternative transportation. If it's part of her job to drive you then you should be able to insist on a smoke free ride, and I would definitely address it.

@Rubiconmangojuice

Sadly the company pay nothing towards mileage or fuel so not sure if anything would happen

That’s rubbish and I know not the point of your post

But I don’t go to work to be spoken to like that. It’s not a case of not getting along, nobody deserves to put up with it, not me nor the clients.

She drives me to our double calls, where she would be going anyway so it makes sense for me to just go in her car

An example is a client with dementia who often gets items confused. We put something in front of him and he asked what it was. She went, “It’s lunch, what does it look like!” she shouldn’t be speaking to any of them in that way.

This makes me want to cry.

Please report her attitude towards service users as well as to you.

The smoking in the car thing is horrible, but is she driving you as a favour, or is it part of her contract? If it's as a favour there's not much you can do other than find alternative transportation. If it's part of her job to drive you then you should be able to insist on a smoke free ride, and I would definitely address it.

It won't be part of her job if the company pays nothing at all.

But ultimately OP, you were advised on your thread the day before yesterday to either speak to her or report her.

I don't see what anyone else can advise.

"
It’s just getting me down, but I’ve had it in most of my jobs"

That suggests to me that in most of your jobs, your performance is below par which irritates your colleagues/clients. Instead of reporting a colleague, perhaps you should pull your socks up.

No, it really doesn’t suggest that, when you receive good feedback from management. It suggests that some people are just rude

@2bazookas That's rude. OP obviously cares or she wouldn't have started this thread.

Your colleague sounds a nightmare, OP. I would report and see where you get with that. Is there any chance they could double you up with someone else after you've reported so you can avoid the possible frosty atmosphere it may cause?