Shall I report this colleague?

[Rubiconmangojuice]

I’ve posted once about her before. We’re home care workers, and sometimes I only work with her once a week, other times 3/4 times a week, it depends.

I have just gotten really fed up with her rude way of speaking. She’s been doing this for many years and is close to retirement age, maybe she thinks I’m not as competent as I’m newer to the role, who knows.

Things she says are in an exasperated tone, both to me and to service users. Some of our clients are chair bound and need to be hoisted, hence why these visits are with 2 carers.

She will say stuff like ‘What ARE you doing?’ , today she said ‘You’re not doing this right AT ALL’.

I was going to put something in the lady’s washing basket and she sounded annoyed saying ‘WHY are you putting that in there you don’t need to!’ I however I looked and there was a large wet patch on it so yes, I did need to.

She speaks to me rudely in front of clients too. We help to wash a lady, and this lady asked me to wash under her arm. I did, and the carer was at the other side of her so I assumed she would do the other arm, but before I could do anything she said ‘Well obviously if she can’t wash the left one herself she’s not gonna do the other one herself, is she?’

Other times it will just be ‘oh God’ and tutting.

I haven’t had this with any other carer. If I sometimes do things wrong, they explain in a polite manner. I’ve never received any complaints and the manager told me yesterday that I had had excellent feedback from clients.

It’s just this colleague who’s making me feel rubbish at the job and like an idiot.

She’s sometimes rude to clients too in the same way. I always try to justify what I’m doing and say that I am doing X, or that I know how to do x already etc.

I don’t feel comfortable confronting her. Would it be wise for me to call my office team to discuss the issues with them?

It’s just getting me down, but I’ve had it in most of my jobs. The majority of people in the jobs I’ve had have been great, but there’s always one rude or unpleasant person, every single time.

I don't think you can do anything about the things she says and does to you, other than ask if you can be paired with another driver, but you have a duty of care to report the way she talks to the clients. Because that's 100% not OK and against the basic principles of person centred care.

Worst case scenario there are domicilary care companies everywhere crying out for staff. I drive several non drivers around for my company with no issues (I'm new to it and don't smoke so I'm not your colleague!). Ones near me are offering £200 to £1000 bonuses for anyone with a DBS and care certificate (and some experience).

[quote RainbowBriteUk]@2bazookas That's rude. OP obviously cares or she wouldn't have started this thread.

Your colleague sounds a nightmare, OP. I would report and see where you get with that. Is there any chance they could double you up with someone else after you've reported so you can avoid the possible frosty atmosphere it may cause?[/quote]
But how many threads is she supposed to start before she cares enough to take the repeated advice given to her?

Thing is @WorraLiberty, not everyone is a hardfaced old cow like you and me. Speaking out does not come naturally to everyone and some people will go over and over things in their mind and worry about saying something for fear of being branded a troublemaker.

OP, I think you must speak out. If not for yourself then for the clients who are unable to stick up for themselves. I wish you every strength.

She is rude and abrupt and knocking your confidence it is absolutely something you can speak to a line manager about. She is putting you down and undermining you in front of clients it’s not on. Write down constructively like you have here examples of what she says and how it makes you feel then request a meeting with a manager. She will carry on because she can and will drive people away. Chances are the issue has already been raised and it should be tackled for the sake of staff and clients. You should feel confident and supported at work that’s how they will get the best of you not worrying. It’s bullying albeit on a fairly low level but it’s definitely there.

@RobertaFirmino

Thing is *@WorraLiberty*, not everyone is a hardfaced old cow like you and me. Speaking out does not come naturally to everyone and some people will go over and over things in their mind and worry about saying something for fear of being branded a troublemaker.

OP, I think you must speak out. If not for yourself then for the clients who are unable to stick up for themselves. I wish you every strength.

I do get that but at the same time, her choices are speak out or keep quiet and she's well aware of this.

OP just take the bull by the horns.

And definitely sort out your own transport so you're not still relying on her for favours, when all this comes out.

The time the carers come in is often the only company some people receive in a day.
Even if they are not being spoken to rudely hearing someone being snipped at, downed and sarcastic comments is unpleasant.
There is no need for anyone to speak rudely to anyone. There is also no need to witness it.
Yes I would tell management. For yours and your clients benefit.

I hope you do have the strength to report her. It is bad enough that she speaks to you like that but to speak to clients, who are unlikely to be in a position to question and report her , that is totally unforgivable.
On a separate note, I hope it isn't too patronising to say that I am in awe of the work you, and people like you, do. I don't think everyone appreciates what patience and skill it takes to do that role well. Gauging the personalities and needs of service users and treating them with dignity - it certainly doesn't seem to be reflected in the pay. I would hate to think that a carer would speak to my Father, who has dementia, the way your horrible colleague does.

Thanks everyone, I’m going to call on Monday and report how she is towards me and towards clients, and ask if I can be put with other carers/moved to another area.

@WorraLiberty

Regarding the smoking in her own car. You might have a case for getting that stopped if the company are paying anything towards it - like petrol/insurance etc.

Otherwise it's up to her what she does.

check the smoking policy, some places say that you mak not smoke in uniform....also to you get paid for travel time?

check the smoking policy, some places say that you mak not smoke in uniform....also to you get paid for travel time?

That's a good point about uniform, although she could always cover it up.

It doesn't matter if the OP is getting paid for travel time, she's being given a lift by a private car owner who doesn't have expenses paid by the company.

I'm glad you're going to call on Monday.

You need to stand up for yourself snd for the service users. Even her speaking to you like that affects them negatively. It will make (at least some of them) feel like they are an imposition and make them upset (even if they hide it). No one likes feeling like they're causing problems, even when they desperately need the help.

Rehabilitation Services (after hospitalisation, through the NHS) are desperately in need of staff if you find you want to move companies.

Is there anything you are/can do about getting your licence/a car?? Care in the community without your own car is very difficult.

She told a 90 year old non verbal lady today to shut up, as she often makes noises, I was speechless. Definitely reporting Monday

Certainly not ideal if you do not have your own car to do home care? Certainly never heard of milage allowance not being paid? Since this does not apply to you how do you know this to be accurate?
This carer is clearly past her sell by date so to speak, just going through the motions and clearly does not like the service users nor have any patience left for them nor yourself.
It is a difficult situation to be in having to report her for not being kind to people and rude to you since you are reliant on lifts. Personally, I would find a better job, try a care home where you are based in one place then report her. Good luck.

@Rubiconmangojuice

She told a 90 year old non verbal lady today to shut up, as she often makes noises, I was speechless. Definitely reporting Monday

I could cry reading this. Fucking horrible 😞

I would report today if she told a client to shut up.

I would call the duty manager today, they should deal with this today. A decent manager would come and see the client and investigate this straightaway. How many ore clients will she abuse between now and Monday.

You need to report this colleague. You need to stand up for the people you care for and be their voice. Many would not report behaviours that make them uncomfortable as they don’t know what comeback they may have from a carer.
As for smoking in the car, you need to speak to your manager. They have a duty of car to you, and if a person is transporting you in their car, for work. The car is being used for work purposes and this is covered in their duty of care.

Please speak to your manager about her with examples of which clients and what was said. It's unacceptable that she speaks to anybody like this.
You can also request not to do double up calls with her as her smoking is unpleasant and you don't like working with her. Carers shouldn't smoke in their cars whilst working as it's not nice for the clients to receive personal care from people stinking of cigarette smoke and it's usually company policy to ask staff to desist from doing so.

Sadly the office is closed today but I will contact our manager Monday morning. They are always so short staffed that I don’t think I could be able to not work with her but who knows. It’s horrible for these clients too, there’s no way she would have told that woman to shut up had her family been there

As for smoking in the car, you need to speak to your manager. They have a duty of car to you, and if a person is transporting you in their car, for work. The car is being used for work purposes and this is covered in their duty of care.

They don't have a duty of care in this case, except to suggest the OP makes her own transport arrangements, just as the smoker has.

@Rubiconmangojuice

She told a 90 year old non verbal lady today to shut up, as she often makes noises, I was speechless. Definitely reporting Monday

OP PLEASE REPORT HER NOW. There must be someone you can speak to over the weekend?

If she is behaving like this whilst you are with her, what the hell is she saying and doing to clients when she is visiting on her own? I can’t bear to think what she is like then the callous bastard. She should be out on her arse on Monday morning and if not report her to anyone you can. The care quality commission?

@Rubiconmangojuice

Sadly the office is closed today but I will contact our manager Monday morning. They are always so short staffed that I don’t think I could be able to not work with her but who knows. It’s horrible for these clients too, there’s no way she would have told that woman to shut up had her family been there

When did she tell her to shut up?

With any luck the family of one of these vulnerable clients might have a hidden camera. 🙏🏽

I only go in her car when we are going to the same double ups, otherwise I commute by bicycle to all my other calls.
I could go on my bike to the double calls but it’s faster for us to be in the same car together, it would mean her waiting at each call for me

It’s depressing to think she’s been getting away with this for so long