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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Big' Birthdays'

47 replies

itsnotmeitsu · 08/10/2021 23:05

The idea of this is something that I can't get interested in. A birthday is a birthday, whatever the age. When my husband asked me if I wanted to celebrate a so-called 'big birthday' I pointed out that the day before I was one day below the number, and the next day I was one day above it.

I was lucky enough to celebrate my 50th in Vegas, when my twin turned fifty eight hours before me, even though I was 10 minutes older than her.

I just can't understand why a birthday that ends in a 0 as you get older is something special.

OP posts:
Kite22 · 08/10/2021 23:20

YAneither BU nor not.
If you can't understand it, then you can't understand it.

For many of us, it is a kind of 'nudge' to get round to doing that big holiday or getting family and friends together for a party.

I don't think my 40th or 50th or whatever is an important event particularly, but I had parties for both and really enjoyed them and I'm glad I did. In our family we had parties for our dcs' 18ths , we have had parties for significant wedding anniversaries. We do them because we enjoy socialising and meeting up with people who mean a lot to us.
Other people have to 'justify' to themselves treating themselves to a special holiday, so making it a "thing" for a big birthday or special anniversary "allows" them to treat themselves.

TheSmallAssassin · 08/10/2021 23:31

It is mind boggling to me that some people really can't understand how some people think differently to them.

Can you really not understand that our ten fingers mean that we work with decimal numbers and so multiples of ten are seen to be special, even though there is nothing inherently different about them? Or that people would want an excuse for a bigger celebration?

Youdoyoutoday · 08/10/2021 23:43

No, actually, it is u

Sparklesocks · 08/10/2021 23:44

It’s just a bit of fun, an excuse to have a do or a nice holiday. You might not be into it but others are. People should take whatever joy they find these days, in my view.

HeddaGarbled · 08/10/2021 23:48

I was lucky enough to celebrate my 50th in Vegas

How unreasonable of you.

grapewine · 08/10/2021 23:51

I just can't understand why a birthday that ends in a 0 as you get older is something special.

But do you understand that others feel opposite to you about some things?

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 08/10/2021 23:58

So you can't understand the fuss made about 'big' birthdays, yet you happened to celebrate your 50th in Las Vegas? What a coincidence! Hmm

Myneighboursnorlax · 08/10/2021 23:59

This isn’t answering your question, but I was confused for a moment about how you turned 50 while your twin was turning 58… 😂

Marvellousmadness · 09/10/2021 00:18

You can't understand it yet celebrated your 50th in Vegas...Confused

CoRhona · 09/10/2021 00:29

Yep, how jolly fortunate you just happened to spend your big zero birthday somewhere amazing Hmm

Holothane · 09/10/2021 00:32

Made my 50th the excuse for a 65 inch tv saved for years, loved it I loved being 50 didn’t want that year to end. My 60th no idea yet .I know one thing no party or theatre show.

MyPatronusIsACat · 09/10/2021 00:33

@Skiptheheartsandflowers

So you can't understand the fuss made about 'big' birthdays, yet you happened to celebrate your 50th in Las Vegas? What a coincidence! Hmm
This. ^ Clearly a wanky stealth brag from @itsnotmeitsu

I spent my 40th in New Zealand by the way, so that trumps your shitty Vegas eh? No-one on here gives a shit where I spent my 40th though, just like no-one gives a shit where you spent your 50th.

x2boys · 09/10/2021 00:36

You dont understand why people celebrate birthdays that end in 0 as special birthdays s
But you spent your 50 th in Las Vegas okay 🙄

Ponoka7 · 09/10/2021 00:43

"I spent my 40th in New Zealand by the way, so that trumps your shitty Vegas eh? "

Not unless the OP had wanted to go to NZ. One place doesn't necessarily trump another. We all don't want the same holidays.

OP, as said, we deal in 10s, numerically speaking, so we've given significance to decades and many to half decades as well. I celebrate each birthday and have at least two celebrations. But I spend a bit more/go a bit further away, when it's a big birthday.

MyPatronusIsACat · 09/10/2021 01:02

@Ponoka7

"I spent my 40th in New Zealand by the way, so that trumps your shitty Vegas eh? "

Not unless the OP had wanted to go to NZ. One place doesn't necessarily trump another. We all don't want the same holidays.

OP, as said, we deal in 10s, numerically speaking, so we've given significance to decades and many to half decades as well. I celebrate each birthday and have at least two celebrations. But I spend a bit more/go a bit further away, when it's a big birthday.

Don't be ridiculous.

Of course New Zealand is better than Las Vegas for a holiday, or a 40th or 50th birthday trip. It's much further away, it's much more expensive, it's more elaborate, and is a dream place for many. Vegas is a glorified Blackpool. New Zealand is superior in every way.

Ask 10,000 people in a survey tomorrow whether they would prefer a holiday in Las Vegas or New Zealand, 9995 of them will say New Zealand.

SeasonFinale · 09/10/2021 01:03

Ah a stealth boast Grin

shiningcuckoo · 09/10/2021 01:37

My last big birthday slid by uncelebrated. Not from choice though. Teenage kids disinterested, no other family and no real close friends. Honestly anyone who has people around them who want a special big birthday (or any birthday) celebration for them should embrace the opportunity.

LagunaBubbles · 09/10/2021 01:57

I dont understand how people dont understand that everyone is different.

Catflapkitkat · 09/10/2021 03:53

It another one of those things that have been 'supersized'. Remember when hen/stags nights were ONE NIGHT. A meal pub crawl and cheesy club? Remember when weddings were local enough to order a mini cab home? Now every '0' is a big milestone birthday. Are '5' birthdays a thing now? I heard someone say the other day 'well it is my 35th' ......

I agree with the above posters, not everyone is the same and if you want roll out the big guns to celebrate then it's all good but they never want to go the Barcelona hen mini break, baby shower spa weekend, tropical destination wedding, 50th Vegas party or 60th family cruise on their own do they?

Original poster
itsnotmeitsu · 09/10/2021 21:13

No stealth boast (if only). My 50th took place in Vegas. My husband arranged the holiday with me having no idea it was happening. It was a surprise trip for me. Also, as the older sister by 10 minutes, it was the only time that I was the younger twin. My twin died this year.

OP posts:
Original poster
itsnotmeitsu · 09/10/2021 21:20

My original post was about birthdays, and how they mean nothing to me. So it wouldn't matter where I was on my birthday, or the so-called 'big birthday'. That's because birthdays only have bad memories for me. That's why I don't celebrate them, and it doesn't matter where I am when I have a birthday. So thanks to all those having a go at me.

OP posts:
00100001 · 09/10/2021 21:23

...drop drip drip.

But still, just because YOU don't like birthdays, you can't possibly imagine that others might?? Confused

user1497787065 · 09/10/2021 21:26

I have a cousin who questions why we should celebrate being one year closer to death....

HalfBrick · 09/10/2021 21:34

A birthday ending in 0 is a nice round marker to 10 more years lived. I'm a fan of all birthdays being marked, grateful that I got another year of living while other poor bastards younger than me did not. I also like the thought that when most people were born, even the oldest person you can think of, when the news of their birth got out it probably made a lot of people happy and let's not forget the mothers, it's a day you don't forget!

Original poster
itsnotmeitsu · 09/10/2021 21:56

I can totally understand that others celebrate birthdays, even though I don't. Not sure why I'm getting abuse for hating birthdays, because of the memories they have for me.

OP posts:
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