Teacher parent

[Wotsitone]

Aibu to be absolutely fed up that a kid in my sons class’ mum is teaching the class for the second year running and seems to heavily favour her own son (in certificate giving, competition winning etc)

This is why one of my friends refused to teach any of her kids/nieces/nephews etc.

If the kid does well then it's blatant favouritism, if the kid does badly then she can't even teach her own kids properly.

As a mother whose children went through the school where their father taught and, for a time, their mother it's my experience that the children of teachers usually get a very raw deal when it comes to awards, parts in school plays and so on! Because it was a military school abroad there were a number of teachers' children in their parents' school and all complained of the same unfairness!

I don’t think parents should be allowed to teach their own kids and especially not chose winners of competitions involving their kid.

private school or normal?

And I don't think parents of children should butt in and meddle in the running of a school day from the safety of the school gates, but you still choose to be "that parent". Other parents could equally complain that your kid always gets the rewards because you bully the teacher into it, for example.

Leave the kid alone, they've got enough to put up with having a parent teacher, nobody else will remember a few certificates.

@Wotsitone

I don’t think parents should be allowed to teach their own kids and especially not chose winners of competitions involving their kid.

Maybe their kid is just better than your kid?

I don't think they should be allowed to teach their own children either, but I would wonder whether her child is actually just doing well.

In my DC's schools, this is just not allowed. They can't even teach the same year as their DC is in. So several times a teacher who eg had been teaching Y5 for 10 years would have to move to another year because their DC had got to Y5. I just assumed this was normal (other than maybe in tiny schools) and in general I doubt either child or parent would enjoy the experience.

I don’t know of any primary school in recent years where a teacher has their own child in the class for a whole year, let alone 2. Heads will tend to move mountains to avoid this.

Is this a very small school? Private?

Is this primary? It's quite unusual that a parent would teach their own child in primary unless it's a very small school and unavoidable. Isn't it possible that this child deserves these recognitions? If they win every week and noone else ever does you may have a point but it probably depends what they are winning and if its deserved

Do you have any concerns about the quality of education your child is receiving?

It's horrific of you end up teaching your own kids. Sometimes its unavoidable. So if their children of gets teh highest results they shouldn't be given the prize just because mum happens to teach them? Wow that's really unfair.

I'm pretty certain that he/she is harder on their own child to off set Amy criticism. That's certainly been the case with 100% of all teacher parents I have met. And that's so unfair to their own kids

@slashlover yes maybe their child’s entries/work etc are better than mine, that’s not my point, the point is that in regards to competitions especially it shouldn’t be for them to decide? It should be decided independently

It’s not a private school

I’m not a massive fan of children attending the same schools their parents (or other close relatives) work at, to be honest.

I have no complaints overall about the education my kid is receiving so yes that does put it into perspective.

@Lagomtransplant I hardly think calling out unfairness is “butting in and meddling with the running of the school day” 🤷🏻‍♀️ I appreciate it must be difficult for teachers given that parents have opinions on how their children are treated but I think as parents we are entitled to voice them when necessary. If you don’t want to interact with parents you shouldn’t be a teacher 🤷🏻‍♀️

Perhaps there is another school your child would prefer.

Do you know for sure that the teacher is deciding though and no other teacher/ teaching assistant is involved? In my experience parents who teach their children would ask for input from other staff members where possible to avoid any perceived favouritism

My mum was my headteacher at school and it was fucking awful. Anything I got picked for (sports, orchestra, choir) I got rinsed and told it was because my mum was in charge and that actually I was shit. If I did rubbish at something I felt I was carrying my mum’s reputation on my shoulders, could never get in to trouble or forget my homework. I’ll never teach my ds. Ever.

This teacher is a bit stupid if she is favouring her own for no good reason, other than being their mum. In my experience it’s very much the other way. I once won a raffle at school and they drew again so it didn’t look fixed!

I do understand that for some, it’s about logistics. Teaching doesn’t fit in well with being a parent. I guess having them at your school, you’ve got a chance to see sports days, plays etc. And you’d have the same holidays.

I think they are under strict scrutiny and if they were favoured it would definitely be noticed and commented on by staff members
Have you queried it?

DH taught both mine and it's really difficult tbh. Neither of mine stand out as such - except DS for sport - but it would be the team being picked & not just him. There were other children who often won stuff/went up on stage for things. Maybe their child really is a good worker & role model.

You sound really over invested in it all.

The teachers at our prinary school go up or down a year to avoid this.

Might not work at secondary though

I could understand it in Secondary if its a specialist teacher. But not as a general form teacher...

(I found it awkward enough when my DD1s best friends mum taught DD2! )

Complain if you think there's unfairness. Maybe it'll stop the head giving her her son's class next year, if nothing else.