My just turned 3 year old can read and write

[Rockean]

This isn’t a brag post, although. I’m pretty sure it’s going to come across like one.

My son just turned 3 and he can write his name, write basic/familiar words that he can sound out (the letters are recognisable) and he can sound out words when we look at books together. He loves playing with his magnetic letters and puts them together to create words, he can tell me what they say too.

He’s taught himself this through watching Alphablocks and reading books with us since he was tiny, particularly a phonics book that had all the sounds and alphabet written out with pictures of each letter of the alphabet next to them,

I’m just wondering if this is unusual?

He also doesn’t really play with toys, even though he has plenty of them, he'd much rather look at books and line up his alphabet letters or make words out of them. He’ll also sit with his magma doodle or white board and pen and just write things out. He’s done it at soft play when other kids are playing and I’ve bought his magma doodle.
I want him to play with toys too and I try to encourage him, but obviously I don’t want to discourage him from the books/letters and phonic sounds , but equally he’s going to know much more than most of his peers when he starts school, so I’m worried it’ll be boring for him.

I’d say to any parent with a child who is working beyond their age - keep them curious, and make it fun! Feed their curiosity and also don’t neglect other things (music, sport, art, numeracy - whatever).
Don’t tell them they are a genius.
Don’t be ‘that parent’ at school, but don’t hang back and go the opposite way!
Let them learn - and learn how to learn and enjoy learning.
Don’t give them toys and books way above their age - let them enjoy age appropriate things too (sad when you see small children being ‘advanced’ by eager parents at the cinema or art gallery when the probably just want to make sandcastles).

Enjoy them - small children are wonderful little things - fun and see the world in such an amazing way!

@HarrisMcCoo

My 6yo is only just learning his phonics. He is in P1. He can't read yet.

There. Just for a bit of perspective. He plays with toys.

My oldest DD too. Only started really started reading when she had just turned 7. She loved stories and being read aloud to but the whole technical exercise of reading and phonics just bored the socks off her.

Now she's in Year 12 and doing equivalent of English Lit A level so clearly it didn't hold her back!

Early reading is great and can often be a sign of a bright kid. But late reading doesn't mean anything in terms of intelligence or later attainment. Some kids are just not into it when they're little.

Not that unusual. My kids were writing at home before starting preschool at 3. They weren't the only ones when they got there. Some kids were practically non verbal, some not potty trained, some never held a pencil before. Others were fully fluent and could converse confidently with adults, could read and write and draw well.

They all even out in the end.

DS was non verbal at 3 but totally obsessed with numbers in same way
Could do basic maths well before school
He’s now 28 and a very quiet accountant!

I don't think what you described your ds doing, could be classed as 'can read and write'. 😂😂😂He can recognise and write his name and is starting to blend a few simple regular words!

I could read and write by the time I turned three. At primary school I was known as the girl who could read and write very quickly (I was surprised to discover that this impressed the boys). My maths abilities were average.

At secondary school, I realised that high expectations had been placed upon me due to these abilities, and at the same time, I realised that I often found social situations frustrating and confusing. I developed anxiety, stopped challenging myself, and started coasting, much to the disappointment of my parents and teachers. Now in my 50s I teach mature students.

From reading this thread I am glad there is more support, understanding, and information available these days.

I have one child who could read absolutely fluently at three. He is autistic.
Another who could read chapter books before starting school. We don’t know if she is autistic.
Another who couldn’t read until year 2 and is now an avid reader, English being her best subject. She is waiting for autism assessment.
And my youngest is bright but not a genius. She learnt to read in y1 and is one of the best readers in her y2 class according to her teacher. Couldn’t read when she started school beyond sounding out cvc words. She is certainly neurotypical.

The moral of this story is that they’re tiny and you just can’t tell. That autism presents differently in different children. That you can do exactly the same with different children and they will develop on their own trajectory as and when they are ready.

DS who was reading Roald Dahl in his cot wearing a nappy is doing well at school but isn’t a genius. And all his friends can read now so he doesn’t stand out in any way. He was never bored at school as other aspects were really challenging for him, mainly the social side.

My DCs were/are like that. I wondered about ASD with my DS. He is now 9, and I still wonder sometimes because he has some quirks, but he hasn’t experienced any difficulties. He is happy, has lots of friends and enjoys school.
Both of my DC have complained that some lessons are boring, and they are beyond their peers in most subjects (not PE though!).
I would suggest looking up ppuk. They are an organisation who support parents with gifted children. It sounds like a bit wanky, but it’s been really helpful over the years.

My kid was a fluent reader by 3 - I taught them to - I thought you were supposed to. They taught themselves to write by age 4. They are now a 30 year old academic with the most terrible handwriting.

[quote Rockean]@APerfectSky that’s the thing, we’re not pushing him, I’m actually trying to encourage him to play with his other toys instead of just the letters. We read to him before bed each night and during the day , but I won’t be stopping that of course.

I honestly don’t think he’s going to be the next Einstein, neither would I want him to be really. I just want him to be happy. I certainly won’t be putting any pressure on him.[/quote]
He sounds very like my DS, who is now 21. We didn't push him, either. It was terrifying how he would suddenly come out with these things he'd taught himself. I didn't know he could read until he picked up my shopping list and read it through - he was 2.

If you've got a child like this, there's no need to push him. They push themselves, with the poor parents trailing behind them.

DS is autistic. Aspergers was mentioned many times during his school career and it's become increasingly obvious as he's got older. He has eye contact, too, there was nothing in his earlier years to indicate autism according to the well-known symptoms, only that he seemed so bright. He had a total of two rages that could be described as meltdowns, but he was otherwise a placid and very articulate child. I'm guessing that, because he was able to tell us when things were going wrong for him, he didn't experience that overwhelming frustration.

Ignore the people who will try to tell you you're pushing him. You're not - and I've got less tolerance these days with those who clearly have no idea what they're talking about. You're no more pushing him than a parent with learning difficulties is holding their child back. It is what it is and both have challenges.

It's recommended to keep your child with their peers and not to accelerate them ahead. Many of them are behind in their social skills and putting them with even older children makes that even more of a struggle for them. My son also struggled with his physical skills, so those were both areas to concentrate on.
It's better to broaden their knowledge rather than accelerate. Your child is going to soak up knowledge whatever you do, but you can try to direct it. Once you find out what his obsession is, that becomes easier. Ours was Space - he's doing Astrophysics at Cambridge these days - yes, naysayers, that's probably a "stealth boast" and I couldn't care less. Why shouldn't I be proud of him?

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on playing like the other children if he's not interested in doing that. That is pushing him! You'll need to make the activity appealing to him, but his idea of playing may well be numbers, letters etc. We used planets to help improve his throwing and catching skills.
The challenge with these children is often helping them to switch off and relax so mindful activities are really good. DS also didn't cope well with sudden changes, so a warning that we would be tidying in 5 minutes, for example, worked better than an abrupt "Tidy up time!"

All through DS's childhood, I had people saying I was pushing him, he would be normal by the time he was 10, he was perfectly normal now, there's no such thing as a gifted toddler/child etc. etc..
They were wrong then and they're wrong now.

@Rockean My DD is 3 and is developing at a normal rate according to nursery. But she can't write her name or words as you describe above. To me it does sound unusual and like he is learning quickly, I personally wouldn't have taken this as bad thing or anything to worry about though, but I know little about autism.
The hand-dryer comment struck a chord though, my DD hates them and tries to run away but I just took this as normal child behaviour being scared of a loud noise and not really understanding what the noise is exactly.

Yes you're being unreasonable stealth bragging about your child on AIBU.

We are all SO impressed. I've already called everyone I know to tell them.

They say well done!

Let us know who gets movie rights.

@Tanith the best post on this thread and hands down the best advice.
It's better to broaden their knowledge rather than accelerate. Your child is going to soak up knowledge whatever you do, but you can try to direct it.

I think its fairly normal. I know I was reading fluently at 3 and could write basic sentences well before I started school.

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

I think its fairly normal. I know I was reading fluently at 3 and could write basic sentences well before I started school.

No it isn't. Just because you could and I could doesn't make it normal. All the posters who work with children have posted on here to confirm this.

Yes it’s not normal because otherwise why would school spend three plus years teaching children how to read and write?!

Great post @Tanith, you're right to be proud!

It’s not normal at all! I’m a summer baby and barely 3 when I started nursery. I could read and write and my teachers were surprised. 1 or 2 of the Sep/Oct babies could read too, but they were almost a whole year older than me. I’ve taught EYFS and most children are only just starting to recognise their names and learning to read.

What isn’t normal is that your ds doesn’t play with toys. He hasn’t developed the creativity and imagination which really helps children to learn and understand the world around them. Does he have siblings or regular play mates?

There are dozens of posters on here with early readers. Normal is a pretty big range. Anything really between 2 and 7 is considered a relatively normal age to learn to read. I suppose it depends what the child is interested in. Some kids are obsessed with cartoon pigs. We loved books. It's just what they're into I guess.

It’s unusual for his age I think but lovely he’s so interested - I wish mine had been (as do lots of the posters who’ve given you snarky responses, I bet). Honestly, there have been so many times that I’ve wished my kids could have discovered the joy of losing themselves in a book (they will sometimes read, but have never really loved it - which I find hard to understand, as I do and read a lot). I think you’ll need a choose a school for him carefully, if he’s a strong reader and writer by the time he starts, to make sure he’s challenged and not bored.

My autistic child makes eye contact, spoke very early and is affectionate.

My child was like this. Was bored at primary. Is more challenged at secondary. And the differences between him and his peers have petered out now that he's at school with like minded children.

I certainly wouldn't have posted about on the internet though. Very odd. Clearly you can't brag in real life, so are doing it on MN. I understand it's joyful to have a child who is excelling. But not all children do excel - some are middle of the road, some struggle and some are disabled - and all your post does is make those people feel bad.

My nephew was like this. Also quite sensory. He started reception age 4 & 5 months on the 6th level for reading.

However, he played with toys normally, loved trains, duplo, outdoor toys, puzzles etc.

As he has got older peers quickly caught him up in both reading & writing and he's unexceptional in both, however it's become clear he is exceptionally good at maths. He is NT.

Op....most can't do that at age 3 but they be doing other things your DC won't have learnt. He be ok at school as it's a new environment and he will enjoy learning other things. Learning isn't a fast race but a long slow walk and from my experience they all get there unless there's a LD and those that you think are ahead in reading are over taken later by their peers ....just keep reading with him. One of my DD friends knew at the age of 3 every single king in Britain since Roman time....mum was shocked. She lost interest now as there other things to learn and doubt she can name them two years later. You doing a great job like every mum out there.

Sounds like me when I was little - I have mild AS and diagnosed hyperlexia. It comes with some of the everyday challenges you'd expect, but I wouldn't be any other way.

You'll get accused of showing off, but kids like yours (and big kids like me) still need people to be supportive and proud of them.