To think my employer demanding I go back to the office is just cruel

[Runnyrose]

I work full time over 4 days. DD attends nursery and DH and I split drop offs and pick ups between us. We live 45 minutes from my work in one direction and an hour from DHs in the other but I've been working from home since returning from mat leave in February. My job used to involve a lot of travel around the county and before mat leave, I could easily not step foot in our main office for weeks at a time and generally would start from home and finish at home and go to meetings or appointments in between. Because of the efficiency of Teams, these meetings are almost exclusively virtual and there is no plan to go back to face to face meetings. There is literally not a single aspect of my job that requires me to be in the office.
Suddenly, it's been announced that we have to go back to the office and work there. This will be impossible to manage with DDs childcare setting so the only way will be for my DH to take over both drop offs and pick ups which will mean, to ensure he's there on time, losing 2 hours of work a day. He's self employed so this is a significant amount of money lost every day. I will also lose 2 hours of seeing DD for travel time every day. Not to mention the sudden increased cost in fuel.
I've spoken to my manager and she was completely inflexible and the only solution we could come up with was for me to drop my hours so that I can drop DD off as soon as nursery open, race to work, leave the second the clock strikes 5 to race to pick her up again which frees DH up at least but makes my day a race everyday and costs me a full day a week's pay which works out at nearly £5k a year in bring home pay, not to mention the impact on my pension etc . I can't work full time over 5 days because the nursery don't have availability for her current day off and also, I don't want her going in 5 days a week. Going part time won't even feel like a break for me because I'll literally just be replacing the 2 hours a day working with traveling.
I feel so unbelievably angry at my employer that I work so incredibly hard for them, they know this and my manager said she knows this, but there is no flexibility to allow me to keep working from home when it's going to cause complete devastation to our family set up and financial situation and not in any way shape or form change what they get out of me whilst I'm at work.
I'm trying to find another job but my work is quite niche and there just aren't that many jobs around that pay the same level I'm at now. And I do love my job and don't want to leave it.
I have no problem going back into the office, I just want the option to still be allowed to start and / or finish at home like the job was when I first started and what DH and I planned our situation around before we even had DD.

Have you asked if it would still be possible to work from home as you find it more productive?
It doesn't make sense if you were never in the office before, why the necessity now?

OP needs to find this information out rather than just focusing on her own inconvenience

That's a valid point. I feel the OP has tried to do this though, as she has spoken to her manager who surely could have clarified this.

I know in my own case I have been really clear to my team about the expectations on days they are on site / working from home. For example, during the pandemic we were happy for employees to take time off in the working day for family / caring reasons, and make it up later eg evening time.

Now, they need to be available in core hours when working from home. I personally will choose to work earlier and later too (manager) but I will be available in core hours. If I call someone in core hours and don't get them (and they are not in a meeting / other commitment) I'll be expecting to hear back v quickly. There literally is no where else they should be, bar usual breaks.

I think flexibility needs to balanced with clear expectations and crucially, is fair to everyone.

OP has not focused on that or seemingly tried to find this out.

She has talked to her manager who surely could have explained the business need.

I have had to do this to one member of staff who argued she could work effectively from home, and I explained clearly why she was needed on site for a proportion of time.

I would look for another job if I were in your position OP. I don’t understand this obsession for having bums on seats an the office when people can work from home. If anything lockdown has shown that for many jobs it’s not necessary to be office based. I think over time it will become more and more outdated. We need to get with the times. We need to cut down on unnecessary journeys. Modern technology enables many jobs to be done at home. I understand that for some that is not possible and might cause resentment towards those that do. Having to spend spend a fortune spending hours travelling to and from an office week after week when you can do the same job at home is ridiculous. Your employer needs to get with the times.

Honestly you may not want to hear this, but just look for another job. It doesn't have to be exactly what you do now, skills are transferable and yes you like your job, or at least you did, but this set up will make you resent and hate it. Do what they want, look for a new job and hopefully very quickly you'll have a new offer and you can stick two fingers up at your boss.

If they then beg you to stay, demand that your contract is changed in writing to wfh and a 5k increase in pay. Doesn't matter if you weren't getting an increase with the other job, make them suffer. A company does not care about you, employees are just numbers to them. They'd let you go in an instant if they needed to, there's no point being loyal to a business anymore. They all suck.

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend

Why do you think your childcare issues is your employers issue

Your childcare issues is yours and yours alone and how you facilitate that is your problem.

What an appropriate username

Hell would freeze over before I'd post ANY topic for discussion or request for help on MN these days, with rude and dismissive posters like this charmer and others rushing in to needlessly be unpleasant and make an OP's day even worse.

Since I was a young mother (40 years ago) we have moved to a societal trend where nearly all/many mothers with tiny children work long hours. Why on earth wouldn't we make this easier for them? surely ALL employers should be trying to accommodate any reasonable request so that women can make childcare work for them. Aren't we always hearing about other countries where they do just that?

I hope you find a solution that works for you, Runnyrose

**We don't have enough information to compare teams at home versus teams in office. There might be a whole host of valid business reasons or not. OP has not focused on that or seemingly tried to find this out. Just made an assumption that there is no benefit.

What I'm talking about is comparing pre-covid situation of site visits close to home (therefore it is silly to commute away for site then go back to site) versus what the employer is currently asking, to worm in the office. Presumably under her pre covid arrangement, from what she's said, if she didn't have a site visits one day, she would be in the office not at home. Yes those days may have been rare...but her place of work was the office. So it does make sense her place of work now is also the office as default. Whether she can now be 100% wfh is another question and one that OP really needs to understand her employers reasons for why this isn't ok**

We don't know the full story but on face of it there is no reason to spend all day say in an office on teams , maybe the employer comes up with something , if that's the real reason is another thing.

I disagree about the office being her default work place if she hardly went in , I can't see your logic on this. For me if she started and ended the day from home 90-95% as I think has been said then that's her default work place.

I haven't read the whole thread but I would think that you have a case for arguing that your working pattern has never matched your contract and as such your actual working pattern forms tue basis of your contract. Check this out- the section on 'my contract doesn't accurately reflect my working hours/location' workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/the-law-when-an-employer-asks-you-to-change-your-hours/

There are compromises here. Someone suggested up thread that you cut your days by half an hour so you can do pick up - do it for 2 days only DH does the other days, or you wfh on those days- and you only lose an hour's salary a week.

It may be unfair, it may be pointless, but I doubt at this point anyone in your organisation is going to agree to you fully wfh , but make the right noises and there may be an acceptable compromise. Just because you see no value in your being in the office , it doesn't mean that your manager or team feels the same way.

You can put in a flexible working request but it can be refused on business grounds and it sounds as if they are trying to compromise but you still are not satisfied. When you booked your childcare this was always a possibility. Could you ask a cm to do one if the drop offs or pick ups although this maybe more hassle and cost than either of you dropping hours.

Seriously op. Pregnant then Screwed.

SunShinesBrightly her child will be in nursery, unless I'm missing something.

Just leave. There’s a labour shortage in many industries. Drop your productivity in your current job to an acceptable minimum and spend your energy searching for new employment. They don’t give a shit about you, you don’t have to give a shit about them.

Employers need to consider that if they want loyalty and hard work, they have to give back in return. In a market with an acute and growing labour shortage (and with dropping global birth rates, this won’t long term be solved by immigration) they need to start considering what they can offer that potential employees might want. It’s going to take some time for those who have been used to exploiting a mass of poor and desperate people to realise but it’s already coming.

I think you are being quite reasonable if this was the model pre pandemic. It sounds like a lot of people on this thread aren’t separating that from the wider issue of a lot of peoples preference to WFH since the pandemic.

It’s also pretty bad that their only solution is for you to reduce your hours. What’s going to happen there is that you will either be cramming more work into a shorter timeframe, so same work for less pay, or someone else will have to take your work on. They aren’t going to recruit someone to cover the small amount of hours they are suggesting you drop.

I think you should try and escalate, on the basis that they have moved the goalposts since before the pandemic.

Not being rude but how do you think parents managed before Covid and working from home. We would have long days in the office and long childcare days, wrap around nursery, after school clubs, breakfast clubs. All costing a fortune. It is 100% better now for parents. In most companies there is so much flexibility. I have colleagues that now don’t need to pay for breakfast or after school clubs as they can do the drop offs and pick ups around their hours. We are expecting staff to return to the office but the whole attitude has changed.

Could you ask a cm to do one if the drop offs or pick ups although this maybe more hassle and cost than either of you dropping hours

So her husband, who already shares the drop offs, is now not responsible because o/p has gone back to work? And she should pay a cm to help her out?

I understand your frustration. Have you got to the bottom of why they want everyone back in the office? Is there the possibility of two days in the office and two days at home? I’m assuming that your DH is dropping your little one at nursery and getting her ready if you’re working such long days. In many households one parent does drop offs and one does pick ups and the working day is adapted around this. I used to leave super early while my DH dropped our child off he’d then make up the time at the end of the day while my early start would allow me to leave early to pick up our child at the end of the day. I think the difficulty is you’re expecting not to have to make any real adaptations to either your or your husband’s working hours. I’m assuming your employer allowed you to change to working full time over four days when you had your child which shows willingness but this is then the working pattern that’s causing issues with the childcare. It would be great if you weren’t having to go back unto the office and I completely get your frustration but if they’ve allowed you to change to a full time working week over four days and have also offered to allow you to reduce your working hours too to fit childcare I think as frustrating as it is you and your DH will need to find a way to make it work. I wonder if there has been a general drop in productivity in the wider office or if there are concerns re you working at home while your child is still at home. It may be worth a frank conversation with your boss about thinking about looking elsewhere and the reasons why you need to be in. Realistically though I would question how easy it would be to find role with a compressed working week where you can also start and finish at home.

@nodtik

I have no sympathy at all!!!

This is from someone who cannot work from home, has never been able to work from home. Worked full time in my place of work throughout the pandemic!!

Juggles a family too - welcome to the real fucking world!!!

Real world??? OP is also working in the real world.

So you're basically saying that because you have it hard that everyone else needs to have it hard as well? What a crappy attitude to have.

@Feelingoktoday

Not being rude but how do you think parents managed before Covid and working from home. We would have long days in the office and long childcare days, wrap around nursery, after school clubs, breakfast clubs. All costing a fortune. It is 100% better now for parents. In most companies there is so much flexibility. I have colleagues that now don’t need to pay for breakfast or after school clubs as they can do the drop offs and pick ups around their hours. We are expecting staff to return to the office but the whole attitude has changed.

Pandemic has changed the nature of jobs and accelerated the adoption of software that makes home working a realistic and best option for many workers and their employers. The world has changed. Why look backwards?

If OP resigned I would be willing to bet my house any potential replacement would enquire about the loss of home working.

I think one of the other team members has been not working properly and they are punishing you all. That’s just my opinion and I could be wrong.

Go back for a few weeks and make your case again then and see how you get on.

@nodkik but you presumably chose a career that was not based in an office where wfh possible - that’s your choice. Just because that is what you chose doesn’t mean other people aren’t in the real world

OP - fight this. Why should high performing loyal employees change their entire home lives to their deferment because their employer is completely inflexible. We've proven how well we can work outside of offices, to the extent my place as shut offices. Many other employers will be far more flexible and places like tours will loose all the best peopleS Put in a flex working request and prepare to take it all the way.

Wondering if they want to keep tabs on people who wouldn't usually wfh pre COVID so a blanket rule?

This is such a shit policy. I can’t see the benefit for either your employer or for you. It will make your life so much harder and you’ll be less productive. How is that a good thing?

I’d put in a flexible writing request, fight it all the way and start looking for a new job. There are plenty of companies who are moving to a full WFH policy so don’t restrict yourself to just local jobs!

If so may revert back to previous system?