To think my employer demanding I go back to the office is just cruel

[Runnyrose]

I work full time over 4 days. DD attends nursery and DH and I split drop offs and pick ups between us. We live 45 minutes from my work in one direction and an hour from DHs in the other but I've been working from home since returning from mat leave in February. My job used to involve a lot of travel around the county and before mat leave, I could easily not step foot in our main office for weeks at a time and generally would start from home and finish at home and go to meetings or appointments in between. Because of the efficiency of Teams, these meetings are almost exclusively virtual and there is no plan to go back to face to face meetings. There is literally not a single aspect of my job that requires me to be in the office.
Suddenly, it's been announced that we have to go back to the office and work there. This will be impossible to manage with DDs childcare setting so the only way will be for my DH to take over both drop offs and pick ups which will mean, to ensure he's there on time, losing 2 hours of work a day. He's self employed so this is a significant amount of money lost every day. I will also lose 2 hours of seeing DD for travel time every day. Not to mention the sudden increased cost in fuel.
I've spoken to my manager and she was completely inflexible and the only solution we could come up with was for me to drop my hours so that I can drop DD off as soon as nursery open, race to work, leave the second the clock strikes 5 to race to pick her up again which frees DH up at least but makes my day a race everyday and costs me a full day a week's pay which works out at nearly £5k a year in bring home pay, not to mention the impact on my pension etc . I can't work full time over 5 days because the nursery don't have availability for her current day off and also, I don't want her going in 5 days a week. Going part time won't even feel like a break for me because I'll literally just be replacing the 2 hours a day working with traveling.
I feel so unbelievably angry at my employer that I work so incredibly hard for them, they know this and my manager said she knows this, but there is no flexibility to allow me to keep working from home when it's going to cause complete devastation to our family set up and financial situation and not in any way shape or form change what they get out of me whilst I'm at work.
I'm trying to find another job but my work is quite niche and there just aren't that many jobs around that pay the same level I'm at now. And I do love my job and don't want to leave it.
I have no problem going back into the office, I just want the option to still be allowed to start and / or finish at home like the job was when I first started and what DH and I planned our situation around before we even had DD.

Has your manager explicitly told you why? There may be an eventual return to in-person meetings. Or someone else underperforming meaning they need the whole team in.
And wh are you absolving your DP of his responsibility? @ApplesinmyPocketo childcare should not be a woman’s issue. Rather a parents issue…

The trouble is, you’ve just seen it from how much it will cost you, affect you. To be blunt, your work don’t care about that. They are a business and any flexible working request has to demonstrate, what the impact will be on the business and how it will either benefit them or at least not be to their detriment. Childcare isn’t their concern.

I wasn't going to reply @Runnyrose but you are getting such stick and I wanted to say I fully support you. This approach to forcing people into an office when they don't need to shows me they don't have the imagination to look at their employees and understand how to get the best out of them as individuals.

I have had so many jobs where I didn't even have a desk (hot desking) and they expected everyone to go into the office even if they didn't have meetings. It was a farce, you would end spending the first hour trying to find somewhere to sit.

I understand that some people love to go into an office and that adds to their creativity and productivity but for others, it is more beneficial for all parties involved for them to work out of the office.

I don't know if you have a case because you have never been office based or I am sorry to say you may have to look for another job.

Good luck to you.

We don't have enough information to compare teams at home versus teams in office

Are you talking about "we" as in society or "we" as in your organisation or "we" on behalf of the OP's employer?

I do have metrics to measure my practices' performance and its grown and produced more during the covid period.

It wasn't entirely what we were expecting but we put a lot of effort into supporting employees during the pandemic and continuing to be flexible. Net result is employee loyalty in a hot market and it being flagged up as a reason by candidates in the recruitment process.

I would find childcare for DD closer to where one of you works and drop off later.

I think it unfortunate the title of this thread says 'back to the office'
As opposed to 'go in to the office when I've never had to before'

Starting your day / ending day at home isn’t needed now as you’re not travelling to other offices. Do you expect your employer to pay you for this commuting time after you drop off at child minder ?

No YANBU. Not in any way. There is more they could / should be doing to keep you without ANY detriment to their business. Check in with Pregnant Then Screwed helpline.

I would look for another job. There are jobs now with working from home and don't discriminate against parents.

@Ariela

I think it unfortunate the title of this thread says 'back to the office' As opposed to 'go in to the office when I've never had to before'

I agree, people are ignoring this for some reason.

I would also recommend pregnant the screwed they are absolutely brilliant and it’s well worth a chat with one of their team to see if you have a case and what you could reasonably expect them to do to support you.

But you don’t know why they’re demanding a return to in office.

The employer should be giving reasons why this specific employee is now being asked to work in the office and how it will benefit the business.

Is there a grievance or appeals process at your work, that you can use?
Do you belong to a union who can help you?
PP suggested an employment lawyer.

What about their family-friendly policy?

If your base is the office rather than home you shouldn’t have been doing all you travel in work time before. You’d be expected to start your journey 45 minutes before your work start time. Have you put in a request for flexible working? If refused they have to give a reason.

I used to do a similar role, mostly being on client site but occasionally going to my base office about 1.5 hours drive away. I would never have been able to go to my base office every day and it was never expected. I would confirm what the company has told you, then reply that you will restart face to face sales calls when appropriate but you won't be working from your office as you never did this before it would a change to your working practices. I found acas helpline quite useful in the past

Statutory Flexible Work Request. It gives a list of specific reasons an employer can say no. I filled it in to go part time in my role.

Or, why not split the drop off and pick ups with your DH, why does one or other of you have to do both?

They're being absolute dinosaurs. You've shown the job can be done without sitting in the office. Make a formal request and ask them to explain what the business reasons are for wanting you to sit at a different desk 45 mins from your house.

I'd also start looking at other jobs, if your employer is going to be dickish about this, they'll probably be dickish about other things too.

BTW there's a consultation out about allowing workers to request flexible working from day one. That's the way things are going. They could replace you with someone who requests home working from the get go as well!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-58636439

Its not a reversion to your previous conditions so check your contract and consider loading a formal working from home request.

Most parents have to either reduce hours or pay for childcare once they have a baby. Looks to me like you’re being treated the same anyone else who has had a baby 🤷‍♀️

@Nomoreusernames1244

Could you ask a cm to do one if the drop offs or pick ups although this maybe more hassle and cost than either of you dropping hours

So her husband, who already shares the drop offs, is now not responsible because o/p has gone back to work? And she should pay a cm to help her out?

"You" as in the parents? Either , or , both.

@Hesma

Most parents have to either reduce hours or pay for childcare once they have a baby. Looks to me like you’re being treated the same anyone else who has had a baby 🤷‍♀️

No, most mothers end up reducing hours and compromising job prospects and being perceived as less promotable.

Men who do so are the exception.

The OP may be being treated like many other women in the workplace but that is just testimony to the unequal treatment of women in much of the workforce.

You've proved the job can be done wfh and it allows you more time with your dd without having to loose earnings.

I found employers awful when it came to being flexible, so much so I eventually gave up trying to work and care for my disabled child.

Sorry op, some people are just shits.

I spend nigh on 50 hours a week in an office, I find it very inconvenient for my life.

OP - I think you want it all ways tbh. I ended up working fewer hours than I wished initially as I could not get childcare near me on the days I needed- gradually I've increased my hours but in no way did I expect my employer to bend over backwards just for me. I was told the rules and I had to adhere to them. If there is a workplace policy re permanent home working you are entitled to apply for it, if not you have to come to some compromise on hours or days worked and where etc.

@crumpet

Depending on how long you worked for them pre pandemic there could be an argument that your employment contract was effectively changed so that you were no longer an office based worker. It could be worth exploring whether that is a runner, but you’d need advice from a specialist.

This... It really sounds like they are changing the terms and conditions of your employment and I may be wrong but that is effectively forcing a new contract on you without giving you a chance to agree to it or providing compensation. You need proper legal advice. You've explained very clearly in some of your posts the previous terms and conditions and the new ones and the merit of them, based on the changes. would legal advice recommend writing to your manager (or above!) perhaps they've never considered it from your point of view and might be more flexible if you can explain how continuing current circumstances - at least whilst she's at nursery, would make no difference to the quality/amount of work you do. Or maybe they might be more amenable to find a compromise that works for both of you. Otherwise, its time to put out the feelers for something else. What is happening with the rest of the team? Do they also have a change of terms and conditions?

I think in this case they have moved the goal posts. Your job was not office based before, you were not expected to be in the office during those hours, therefore they're making a significant adjustment to your role imo - yes we can see why, and I doubt you'll be the only person this is happening to, but I do think they should be providing some flexibility for wfh in your case since you were not office based previously.