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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate online parents' evenings.

175 replies

Hcolhcsra · 05/10/2021 22:41

DD's school and the one where I work are both sticking to online parents' evenings. I loathe them, both as a teacher and as a parent. Too many issues with connections, countdown timers adding pressure and a general lack of connection.

Am I really in a minority?

OP posts:
coachmylife · 05/10/2021 23:28

LOVE them. Soooo much better.

wtfisgoingonn · 05/10/2021 23:33

Can I dislike both?

Not sure which ones I hate more.

The last face to face I was waiting 40 minutes, which made me late for other child so I went there (who was also running late??), which made me miss the original 40+ min late

But DDs (primary) this week have been SIX MINUTES???

By the time it actually connects you and the teacher introduces herself (never met bc covid) and explains it's going to boot us off the timer is already at 4 minutes something.

I came out of it absolutely none the wiser. Confused

Workyticket · 05/10/2021 23:33

Much prefer them - especially as a teacher. I can pull up a picture of the child and all of my data on them to give a much clearer outline to parents than I can from memory.

SionnachRua · 05/10/2021 23:34

Charming!!!!

Grin Grin Knew there'd be one. Although my bets were on "wow. Just wow".

I don't give a shiny shite - if you think it's acceptable to run into other people's meeting times and wreck the schedule...well. Your opinion isn't worth much to me.

SionnachRua · 05/10/2021 23:37

I'm confident that if there were issues the teacher or senco would contact me and it's well published how to contact the teacher if I have concerns myself.

And this is it really. If you've major issues to discuss, parents evening is not the time for them. Set up another appointment on a less hectic day, where you can properly thrash it out.

Fluffypastelslippers · 05/10/2021 23:42

I'm autistic and have asked DC school (high, not primary) that I have face to face meetings. Online contact is far too difficult for me.

EmeraldShamrock · 05/10/2021 23:45

It is great for working parents.
Lots of the school changes have been beneficial.
I love dropping at the gates.

VenusTiger · 05/10/2021 23:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Pascha · 05/10/2021 23:51

I voted yabu because online is so much easier for dh. He can attend remotely while still at work, not me having to book the very latest possible appointment and he rushes over to school in time. Only problem we've ever had is when ds1 teacher was running 40 minutes over and dh had to disconnect while I waited at home.

However, there is something nice about being able to view DC schoolwork in the flesh as it were. Maybe I'm on the fence a little bit really.

Wheelz46 · 05/10/2021 23:51

I actually like the fact that it cuts you off after 10 minutes at least the appointments don't go over and leave you waiting around for goodness knows how long.

My children's school do 10 minute slots and many times, I have been hanging around over half an hour because a parent has got a lot to talk about. I think it's really selfish of parents who rattle on for more than their alloted time. So for it to cut off is great.

I think f2f sessions should be the same, a clock at side of them on a timer and when it goes off, parent needs to go!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/10/2021 23:55

I prefer it. It's the difference between an hour of work or 10 min off work. It's the difference between having to organise a babysitter, and just shoving the kids infront of a tablet for 10 min.

I dont find them impersonal or much different to meeting face to face to be honest, but I spend most of my day on video calls so am used to it...I thought the rest of the world were as well now

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 05/10/2021 23:57

I had double tech fail last time round but still want them to continue.
The efficiency of login have your 10 mins move on compared to hanging around outside classrooms is incomparable for me.
But I've been wfh for the last 18 months and am comfortable on teams calls etc because I have multiple everyday

Sherrystrull · 05/10/2021 23:58

@Lightswitch123

I hate absolutely hate them. Parent of secondary and primary school age kids. Think it's a cop out by school.to.stick with them.
Cop out? Why?
AnnaSW1 · 06/10/2021 00:01

I'm so happy our childrens' one might be virtual. Much easier to do it from the sofa!

sunflowerdaisies · 06/10/2021 00:10

I don't mind the meeting being a call/video, but I really missed the chances to go into school and see their books and work.

Georgie8 · 06/10/2021 00:11

Like that both of us can join even if we’re not physically together.
When there’s a 30 min gap between appointments we can work/cook, have a coffee/wine etc. (depending on the child 😉).
The discussion is between us and the teacher only.
Think it must be a godsend for teachers, as they will finish on time and won’t end up staying an hour late.
No drive home.

Ditto for parents.

Downside for both is that it’s very impersonal, especially if you’ve never met each other before.

Not sure I’d be as keen if my children were still in Primary School.

SionnachRua · 06/10/2021 00:18

Ooh vile, there's another word for my MN bingo card. And lots of dramatic exclamation marks to boot. I'm filling up this card quickly.

SisyphusDad · 06/10/2021 00:21

I used to loathe secondary school face to face parents' evenings. The chaos, the noise, the complete lack of organisation. I really hope DS's school doesn't go back to them.

thefourgp · 06/10/2021 00:28

I much prefer online. I’m so sick of waiting 30 minutes passed my booked time and making me late for my other child’s meeting because the parent before me wants to use their 10 minutes to have an hour discussion about things that should have been discussed before now.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 06/10/2021 00:36

I've become disabled enough to make in person difficult. The treatment for that means I have very poor immunity.
Online Parents Evenings are a lifesaver for me. I won't be able to go to a mass f2f event.

toomuchlaundry · 06/10/2021 00:36

@VenusTiger surely over talkative parents will chat for longer than their allotted time so will run into someone else’s time. If they tried to do that on the online system DS’s school used they would just be chucked out of the session mid sentence!

NiceGerbil · 06/10/2021 01:35

Agree toomuchlaundry.

I mentioned it earlier as well.

IRL some parents have a million questions or something else that means they go way past time. The ones who are happy to do that even with queue behind...!

Obviously going over the time allowed means everyone after has to wait longer.

Get a few of those and the time to see that teacher is nothing like when you actually get to them.

If you're in queue and it's time for another teacher... I mean it gets really messy.

That's why at hours it ends up with parents wandering about to see who's free irrespective of if they wanted to talk to them. It's a nightmare.

Our online one counts down and goes red when last min or something.

Time up it just cuts off automatically. Brilliant!

SuperStarRose · 06/10/2021 02:10

I fell asleep so missed the last online parents evening for both DC.

I realise I have no interest in meeting their teachers as they change every year for all their subjects and they always say the same old thing every year no matter what the subject is. If there are any issues I get an email so I'm good. I hate rushing from one building and one floor to another so see their teachers I find it quite stressful.

PurpleSapphire · 06/10/2021 03:19

I chose the telephone appointment option last year and I much prefer it. No big crowds of people to ramp up the old anxiety, no waiting in queues in pain from my back because there's always one family who go way over their time slot. Means I can actually concentrate on what the teacher is saying rather than focusing on how quickly I can get out of there.

ouchmyfeet · 06/10/2021 05:02

@W00t

Sorry, I love them! It means you actually get your full appointment, at the right time, instead of having to sit waiting for people to stop going on and on and on about their child. The appointments are five minutes- don't use up mine and the next person's too, selfish gits!
This. Willing to bet the parents who hate them are the complete pain in the arse ones who turn up late and then monopolise the teachers time beyond their allocated 5 minutes.

When you only get literally 5 minutes twice a year with your child's teacher, I much prefer a system where you actually get those 10 minutes.

I do agree with PP that school haven't actually consulted parents before reporting that they are keeping online parents evening because of the positive feedback they've had.