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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Planned section. How much notice did you get? AIBU?

46 replies

Impromtuchange1 · 05/10/2021 18:35

I'm 36.5 weeks

I have been approved by my consultant to have an elective cesarian by maternal request, however there is a strong medical grounds component to it too. I almost died during childbirth with my last baby (vaginal delivery) and have been left with PTSD and pretty bad birth injuries. I could not go through the same again and it has been reccomended that I don't try to.

I had a growth scan today as requested by my consultant and she put a note on my file requesting I go to DAU afterwards to get a form(?) done and get a date booked in for the section.

I went to DAU and after being sent between departments twice as they didn't know what to do with me, one of the consultant midwives said she's read my file and completed the nessecary form for me - so thats all sorted and i'll get my section date in the post in a couple of weeks. She was in a rush and couldn't stop to discuss.

A couple of weeks takes me to 38.5 so I feel like a sitting duck, largely due to my other children coming spontaneously at 38 weeks and 38.2 respectively.

Obviously a pre op will be nessecary aswell, so how much notice will I get for that?

I don't drive and I'm 60 minutes away from the hospital via two busses.

Due to having titrated anti-E antibodies I need to be under the care of the hospital when I deliver as baby will need immediate cord testing so that's another reason a spontaneous delivery is problematic.

I also need as much notice as possible to arrange childcare for my existing children otherwise I'll be going through the surgery on my own, I cannot stress enough how scared I am of that being the case. The relative who has agreed to have them isn't local or reliable if not given much notice and can't just pop down on a whim with a days notice.

DH needs to let work know as far in advance as possible too.

I thought I would know where I'm at with it being a cesarian, its supposed to eliminate some of the stresses but I'm more stressed than ever.

I'm worried I'll go into labour before I get a section date which I just couldn't manage emotionally or physically, or that I'll end up having major surgery alone because I haven't been given ample notice to sort alternative childcare.

How much notice did you get?

AIBU to be feeling irritated at the uncertainty at this stage?

OP posts:
gwenneh · 05/10/2021 18:36

I got about a week's notice. It didn't matter that my first came early.

Saoirse82 · 05/10/2021 18:44

You are not being unreasonable. Pregnancy is an anxious time and with what you've been through already I would have thought that they would have given you a date at this stage. My friend had an ELCS in July and she got the date 4 or so weeks before. By reading on here it seems ante natal care really varies by region, I'm in NI and can't fault the care I've had but I read some of these threads and I'm shocked about the treatment other women have experienced. Sorry I have no advice, maybe someone will come along who knows more than me, I'm ftm at 34 weeks here so it's all new to me.

Elletine · 05/10/2021 18:46

I’m in london, and they let me book an elective for 39 weeks when I was 36 weeks. Why don’t you phone them and ask for the date so you can make plans? Good luck OP Flowers

WeepySheepy · 05/10/2021 18:49

A week as LO had to come out pronto

Original poster
Impromtuchange1 · 05/10/2021 18:52

Thank you for the replies

I'm in London, due to deliver at Queen Elizabeth.

I'm not sure whether my expectations were too high for today, or not, I just expected to get the date there and then. The uncertainty is adding to my pre existing anxiety.

I think I will ring them tomorrow and echo what I have here, see if they can reassure me somewhat.

OP posts:
jevoudrais · 05/10/2021 18:56

I got my date booked in May for July when I had mine last year. Mine was maternal request.

WeepySheepy · 05/10/2021 18:56

The only thing with the work argument is that if you were having a natural birth you wouldn't know the date. So there's no reason for your husbands work to even know you know the date really.

Original poster
Impromtuchange1 · 05/10/2021 18:58

@WeepySheepy

The only thing with the work argument is that if you were having a natural birth you wouldn't know the date. So there's no reason for your husbands work to even know you know the date really.
That's a fair point.

It's not the most pressing concern I have, just another thing on the list really.

OP posts:
CarrotVan · 05/10/2021 18:59

The midwife at my 36 wk appointment rang up and booked me in during my 39th week

Oliveandsage · 05/10/2021 19:23

I got my section date a week prior, so at 38 weeks for 39 weeks - it was signed off at 17 weeks! Seemed bonkers at the time, caused so much stress as like you I had a horrible first birth.

tedsletterofthelaw · 05/10/2021 19:26

YANBU at all.

I got my ELCS date at my booking in appointment!

StripeyBadger · 05/10/2021 19:26

I’d push to know sooner. It sounds to me as if your consultant is hoping you will naturally go into labour beforehand and give birth vaginally.

I knew the gestation I would have my elcs before I got pregnant and had the date booked in at around 24 weeks.

Original poster
Impromtuchange1 · 05/10/2021 19:30

@StripeyBadger

I’d push to know sooner. It sounds to me as if your consultant is hoping you will naturally go into labour beforehand and give birth vaginally.

I knew the gestation I would have my elcs before I got pregnant and had the date booked in at around 24 weeks.

I hope not, but do suspect that may be the case. The consultant midwife at my birth options appointment seemed more in favour of a natural delivery even though my own MW agreed entirely with me that it's not appropriate.

I absolutely couldn't go through that again. I'm borderline urinally incontinent after the last time due to a prolapsed bladder.

OP posts:
Mammyofasuperbaby · 05/10/2021 19:37

I was given mine at 35+4 weeks for delivery at 37+2 due to baby not growing properly and my consultant saying that she "wanted him out as soon as possible once term"
I was given my date at my consultant appointment just after my growth scan

Facebooksgoneonholiday · 05/10/2021 19:38

It does seem late. We usually book a date 6 weeks ahead.
The cs usually at 39 weeks as electives prior to this are associated with higher possibility of baby having breathing difficulties following birth.
The antibody testing doesn’t require a Caesarian section, we do this after vaginas births too.
I’d contact the antenatal clinic and ask if they can give you a date so you can sort childcare though, which is a very reasonable requirement. Hopefully you’ll get a date soon and can focus on the exciting birth day :)

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 05/10/2021 19:39

Both of mine were known right through pregnancy but was only given less than a weeks notice.
DD I was told on Monday that I was booked in for that Thursday.
DS I was told on Friday that I was booked in for following Thursday.

daisyducky · 05/10/2021 19:42

I got a phone call on a Monday to say my section was booked for Saturday (39 weeks). I was maternal request after previous vaginal birth. I feel your frustration- I was the same and the stress of getting childcare for your first. We'd no one local and luckily it was a Saturday so people weren't working to take a day off to take care of her. I hope you get your date soon so you can put final plans in place. Everything did fall into place with me so I hope it does with you too

romdowa · 05/10/2021 19:42

I was given a date for my section 5 weeks in advance.

Daisyandroses · 05/10/2021 19:45

I was having twins so a bit difficult, I could have had a natural delivery but wanted section.

I basically just asked them to book me in (I was about 35 weeks), as I was getting anxious. It was booked for exactly 37 weeks, bearing in mind they don’t let twins go past 38!

You need to be assertive, definitely taken DH with you and get him to speak up on your behalf. I know it shouldn’t matter but this worked for me and they listened when we were both together and booked the date straight away!

Tinitiny · 05/10/2021 19:45

Mine was agreed at first consultant appointment and date booked at 36 weeks for 39+1 and then moved to 39+5 with a couple of days notice (but it was over Christmas and they had staff issues).
Mine was maternal request too and similar reasons to yours.

I’d push for a date. Do not let them push you into something you don’t want. The guidelines are in place for a reason.

Are you having any pre-delivery counselling?

Good luck x

IDontDrinkTea · 05/10/2021 19:46

You’re unlikely to get a date prior to 39 weeks for a maternal choice elective section due to the statistical risk of babies requiring breathing support prior to that. Where I am, you get the date a week before your section date.

DressBitch · 05/10/2021 19:51

I'm 35 weeks tomorrow and I have an appointment with my consultant on Thursday to book my caesarean in.

BelieveInRainbows · 05/10/2021 19:53

This will be my 3rd c section (first elective one) and I've just been given a date for it at my consultant appointment today. I'm 16 weeks! I'm in Scotland so guessing it varies hugely from trust to trust.

I'd definitely just keep chasing them up about a date. It sounds like there's lots of reasons for you to have this sorted ASAP and they can't just keep fobbing you off. Hopefully a phone call to the clinic will get you some answers.

Original poster
Impromtuchange1 · 05/10/2021 19:55

Thank you all for the subsequent replies Smile

Any idea who I need to ask to speak to when I ring to chase it up and ask to be told the date?

My other children were born at Lewisham and despite the horrible birth, i had no need to call and chase anything up during the pregnancies themselves.

Are you having any pre-delivery counselling?

Unfortunately not, but I have had EMDR therapy for my birth trauma which I do feel helped alot. I've coped pretty well throughout this pregnancy with limited anxieties as I felt I was in good hands, it's just now I'm so close to the end everything is suddenly so uncertain.

OP posts:
Amiwronghere · 05/10/2021 19:56

Definitely chase op. And ignore the midwife in favour of vaginal delivery. It’s not her vagina 👍

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