Dd in bigger clothes than her age. Does it really matter?

[Karleeb30]

Dd is 6. She's 122-123cm tall and weighs just over 4 Stone. She is in mainly 7-8 clothes and some 8-9 yet she still has some clothes in 6-7 that fit. Depends on the fit and style. It's mainly because she does have a little tummy so does need things a little roomier plus 6-7 is usually way too short on her!! She's had a massive growth spurt since the first lockdown . Went from clothes being too long to now too short.

Mil works in a clothes shop that sell kids clothes (won't say where). She's asked if Dd needs anything, I told her she needs 7-8 or maybe 8-9 and she seemed disgusted implying that my daughter was huge or something!

I know some of the cute clothes Stop in 5-6 or 6-7 so she will have to look in the older girls section... but does it really matter?

we all know that kids are not all built the same! Sizing for an average sized kid of their age. Dd is quite tall so anything smaller than 7-8 is just too short and often a little tight around the waist. To think all 6 year olds would fit into one generic size is madness.

Plus it really depends on the shop. Some shops come Up crazily small and some bigger. H&M is my go to atm. Dd wears their 6-8 or 7-8 years clothes and fit perfectly!

She definitely has my body shape and tall like me!

She doesn't necessarily look big compared to her peers, maybe a little but not massively bigger.

Honestly just let it go over your head. Not all children are built the same!!

My 17yo always had to have clothes a couple of years younger.

My 11 year old needs adult sizes now (size10) and I actually have to buy girls plus size trousers in age 13-14 as she has hips and a bum. She has a flat stomach and is not fat by any stretch of the imagination! She just went through puberty early and needs a C cup.

Both kids have the same diet so 🤷🏼‍♀️

I never fitted clothes by age as a child - I was around 5ft 6/7 when I was 12!

My nearly 3 year old wears size 5-6 leggings but her father is over 6ft and I’m quite tall - she’s just very tall and has a long torso too so it’s hard to find t shirts that fit. She’s a very active child and has a good appetite but stops when she’s had enough. I don’t worry about it.

They make them too small so they don't last long and you end up buying more.

My child has never been in her age size.

Kids clothing sizes are mental. Both my kids are relatively short for their age but DS1 is v slim and DS1 is more rounded and stout. But almost 4 year old DS2 was wearing 18-24 month shorts this summer and DS1 (almost 7 years old) could fit them in the waist (though they were v short on him naturally).
I wouldn't worry about this at all.

We have a three year old who wears anything from 12 months to age 2. She is the smallest in the nursery by a head. Her school polo shirts have been ditched for this year because they are like dresses on her.

@frazzledfragglefromfragglerock

My 12 year old was always 1to 2 clothes sizes ahead. Now she wears a size 12 adults.

My 7 year old is in 8-9 and 9-10 I have big kids.

Exactly this my 12 year old is extremely tall so I've abandoned children's clothes altogether and she wears a ladies 10-12 . Not all kids are the same . Your daughter looks absolutely fine to me . Ignore mil xx

My then 8 year DD (9th percentile for weight) could share some clothes with her baby sibling or teenager sibling.

That’s one child, who could easily be found wearing 12-18 month leggings as a pair of shorts and a 13-14 top as a baggy T shirt. And everything in between.

Clothes in our house are always ending up in the wrong wardrobes. Even when we check the labels for ages…. I find something in 9-10 and it could be either the 6 year or the 12 year olds. Then we have the ridic women’s sizes where who is to know if the pants you are holding are AGE 10-12 or SIZE 10-12?

No one ever gets the right clothes. That tells me the labels don’t matter.

My dd is 14 and on the 2nd centile for her height. Some of her clothes are 10-11. So what.... tell your mil mind her own business if she wants to buy clothes according to her age then the bin will have no problem accepting them. It drives me crazy everyone thinks they're entitled to voice their opinion on your child. What a dull and boring world we'd live in if we were all the same!

None of us can express an opinion without seeing her. It's silly for anyone to say she's fine, it's silly for anyone to say she's not. We don't know.

But you've said she's at the top end of BMI, so why not ask your HV or a doctor next time you see them?
To be honest, I've never come across a parent of an overweight child who's accepted that they're overweight. It's always " they've just got a bit of a tummy" so you could be one of those parents, or you might not be. The only people who'd know are those who know you both. So ask an objective opinion from a professional..

If she is a bit overweight, it's much easier to address it now than when she's older.

Don’t all 6 year olds have pot bellies? At DS’s swimming lessons they all line up on the side of the pool, skinny as anything, but girls and boys with sticky out tummies. Due to posture and lack of muscle tone I imagine.

DD7 is an ogre. She wears ages 8 through to 10. She is muscular and tall. Size is a number. Ignore.

See, I never understood this. I have 3 boys, and all 3 have been in their size for age, or maybe one size smaller. My eldest is 19 and was born on the 99.6th centile for height and has remained that way through his entire life. When you put his height and weight in to the BMI calc (6ft 2 and 10 st 3) he just scrapes in to a healthy bmi at 18.5. He is tall, lean, athletic. Always has been. Yet he has never needed bigger sizes in clothes, despite his height. Eg. At 8 he was 140cm, where as 8-9 clothes are around 134cm. He was fine in them.
My middle is age 8 now and average height of 130cm (50th centile). He is just scraping in to a healthy weight also, he is on the 12th centile for his height and weight combined for childrens BMI. He is also comfortable in 8-9 for height, and like his brother who was 10cm taller, needs the waists pulled in as tight as they can be, and super skinny fit.
My youngest is 6 and has usually been slightly behind in sizes after he got to about 9 months. He is fine in 5-6 tops, but 6-7 trousers. He is 50th centile on the kids bmi calculator, is much more filled out than either of his brothers ever have been. He doesn't need skinny fit stuff. He fluctuates far more than the other two, so I think he probably does gain weight, then get taller as when I do his it goes between 50th and 80th centile. You can definitely see he is fuller than his brothers (and like me in stature and size) but yet he needs a size smaller on his top half usually!
I just don't understand it!! It makes zero sense to me. Despite having kids on different ends of the spectrum!! Yet all wearing the appropriate aged clothes at the time. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

My stepdaughter on the other hand is wearing 6-7 at age 4.5, and you can see she is bigger than she should be. Her dad and I can see it, and when she was measured recently she was 104cm and 21.7kg (weighed the exact same as my youngest who is 6 and 118cm). This puts her on the 99th centile. She has been on the 99th centile ever since Dad has been able to have contact aged 1 after going through court. Dad has broached the subject with mum who claims "well she's just tall for her age" which as you can probably see is BS. She isn't tall at all! She is pretty average height. I do worry about her. Mum won't address it, older sibling is also visibly overweight (she is 3 years older). Dad can only do his best on his time, but as mum has majority care, he has limited intervention opportunities. Poor kid. If her mum would just look at her objectively, she could easily make lifestyle changes without her even realising. It's very sad that she may have a life time of weight struggles ahead of her, and associated health implications. I'm overweight and have struggled my entire adult life. I don't want that for my children or stepchild (or any child for that matter).

As she’s ‘top end of normal’ for BMI and ‘has a tummy’ I wouldn’t try to pretend to yourself it doesn’t matter that clothes are too tight. If she’s on the cusp of being overweight that will effect her self esteem, health and wellbeing for years.

Instead of getting defensive when your mum comments, why not focus on her portion sizes, nutrition, exercise? Start getting her into healthy habits so she doesn’t have a long term battle with her weight.

Being tall isn’t a reason for buying only 7-8 and 8-9 clothes. If she were tall and slim the clothes in bigger sizes would hang/drape/look baggy and you’d be taking in waistbands on trousers etc.

My 6 year old DS is tall and slim, he’s in 7-8 trousers and tops but his 5-6 shorts still fit. I have to take in the waists of 7-8 trousers as he only needs the leg and sleeve length. He’s lean because he’s athletic and rarely stops racing around.

I think it’s sad so many children are becoming overweight and so few parents seem to acknowledge it.

See, I never understood this. I have 3 boys, and all 3 have been in their size for age, or maybe one size smaller.

Boys’ clothes are cut completely differently to girls’. DD has T-shirts from the ‘boys’ section which are an entirely different size and shape than the equivalent age from the ‘girls’ department.

@FateHasRedesignedMost

As op specifies, this child cannot ‘up her exercise’ and ‘race around.’ She is physically disabled and cannot partake in strenuous exercise.

And if you look at the photograph of the child, she is not disproportionately large or fat. She is a normal looking child.

@FateHasRedesignedMost the irony is we do give her a healthy diet yet mil and my own mum fill her with junk when we see her once every week or two (that's what grandparents do right?!) and it doesn't help.

Her diet is very healthy with us. She has a varied diet. She exercises as much as possible. She can't run like her peers but she's trying and we do lots of walks, playing in the garden, scooter. She hasn't managed to learn to ride a bike yet! we also walk to and from school every day despite that it would be easier to drive sometimes.

I can assure you I am not in denial but I literally couldn't do anything different. She eats healthily and exercises as much as possible. What else can I actually do?! Her portion sizes are good, she barely ever finishes a whole
meal, she has lunch at school. She loves fruit and veggies. I'm out of ideas.

I was over fed and become big as a child, we had fried foods in deep fat fryer, lived on convenience foods! I was given crisps in the car for breakfast as my mum didn't get up in time to have breakfast. I do everything to ensure Dd has a healthy lifestyle I didn't have but without her really knowing after different weeks I don't want her getting paranoid.

I was a small baby/toddler and gained weight rapidly as I got older whereas with Dd her weight had always been more consistent ie never a rapid gain.

Despite feeding my badly my mother would also point out I was fat and would never have any friends or a boyfriend if I carried on (yet it was her fault really). I would never make Dd feel like this. She's beautiful regardless. I don't what her to think about her weight constantly.

Dd has never been tiny. I think she's just naturally a little bigger and broader than average. A stranger wouldn't look at her and think 'oh she's an big child' - not that anyone should do that anyway regardless of child's size. I was shamed in a uniform shop as a kid as needed the adult size.

Didn't say this for sympathy. I just wanted to point out I am doing everything I can. I turned my life around for myself when I moved out at 18 and lost a lot of weight and kept most of it off. I'm not stupid when it comes to food and nutrition.

I can assure you I am not in denial but I literally couldn't do anything different. She eats healthily and exercises as much as possible. What else can I actually do?! Her portion sizes are good, she barely ever finishes a whole meal, she has lunch at school. She loves fruit and veggies. I'm out of ideas.

OP please don’t lose sight of the fact that she is within the healthy weight range. It sounds like you’re doing everything right.

My daughter is 6 and in 7-8 or 7-9 too. She's really tall but there's nothing to her weight wise so we have to stick with dresses and leggings and things, anything that buttons will fall down as she has no bum. Kids come in all different shapes and sizes, just like adults, and no, she shouldn't be judging based on the label. You don't judge grown ups based on their clothes size, in theory!

My 7 year old is in 7-8 year old clothing. She’s always been in ‘age’ right clothing.

Yet i’m always told how tiny she is by strangers.

You can’t win sometimes. People are rude.

@RobinPenguins yes, but that wasn't my point. My point was that 3 boys all fit in the right age clothing despite having big differences in their height/weight at the same age. Baffling! There was 10cm difference between my DS's at the same age. Yet both fit in the appropriate aged clothing.

My eldest was always sturdy and at least two years ahead in clothes. Tall too.she’s now in year eight, five foot seven and wearing smaller clothes than she did three years ago. During puberty she became skin and bone. My other child who was always skinny appears not to have had a growth spurt but put on lots of weight. I’m assuming it will even out in the next couple of years.

DS 10 consistently grows out of his age clothes 4 months before his birthday. DS 14 used to do this too, but hasn't needed a bigger size in a while.

@Karleeb30 if she’s rarely finishing meals it means you are feeding her too much.

I very rarely see children being given appropriate portion sizes, I think parents think it just means a smaller amount of what they have, actually it’s usually a fraction of what they have.

A portion of anything on a child’s plate should rarely exceed the size of the palm of their hand. At 6 that’s a tiny portion.