Dd in bigger clothes than her age. Does it really matter?

[Karleeb30]

Dd is 6. She's 122-123cm tall and weighs just over 4 Stone. She is in mainly 7-8 clothes and some 8-9 yet she still has some clothes in 6-7 that fit. Depends on the fit and style. It's mainly because she does have a little tummy so does need things a little roomier plus 6-7 is usually way too short on her!! She's had a massive growth spurt since the first lockdown . Went from clothes being too long to now too short.

Mil works in a clothes shop that sell kids clothes (won't say where). She's asked if Dd needs anything, I told her she needs 7-8 or maybe 8-9 and she seemed disgusted implying that my daughter was huge or something!

I know some of the cute clothes Stop in 5-6 or 6-7 so she will have to look in the older girls section... but does it really matter?

we all know that kids are not all built the same! Sizing for an average sized kid of their age. Dd is quite tall so anything smaller than 7-8 is just too short and often a little tight around the waist. To think all 6 year olds would fit into one generic size is madness.

Plus it really depends on the shop. Some shops come Up crazily small and some bigger. H&M is my go to atm. Dd wears their 6-8 or 7-8 years clothes and fit perfectly!

She definitely has my body shape and tall like me!

She doesn't necessarily look big compared to her peers, maybe a little but not massively bigger.

Sizing by age means the average child, so the ones around th 50% percentile will fit into it.

You then have everyone else and they will wear what fits. DD was always at least one age range up, bascially from toddlerhood onwards. Should I send her with too short trousers or crop tops just because she should wear her age instead of her body height? She is "doomed" by having genes from family whose height is 6ft3 or 6ft4.

When I am in Germany all children clothes are ranged by body height. Nobody cares if 122 is a 5 year old or a 7 year old.

My DC are all tall and broad (not overweight just well built, fit and active and sporty) and all wear bigger size clothing. Trousers are often too short on DS in his age size so have to buy a size up so they will be long enough. It's a non-event! Why would you buy the clothes in their ages if they aren't going to fit? You simply buy whatever size fits, end of.

Although if she normally wears clothes like she is in the photograph is the issue that you like a specific fit? Her shorts and top are both quite long - I find girls things at the minute to be quite cropped. Are you possibly trying tops/shorts on her and thinking ‘no that’s too short’ when actually that is the fit as it is intended to look?

Not criticising at all - this is an issue I have with dd6 because she doesn’t like there to be a ‘gap’ between her top and bottoms if she moves, she likes the t-shirt to be baggy and come low, but lots of girls tops especially are quite fitted right now.

My 7 year old is skinny and not super tall and I've always had to buy him one or two sizes up. Especially as so many things shrink! I've actually found that when he grows out of his clothes I know give them directly to his 4 year old brother, despite the 3 year age gap, because once you take shrinkage into account and the fact that baggy/slightly long t-shirts look fine anyway, it fits little brother fine straight away. So yes, no big deal for kids to wear clothes a size or two up!

My 6yr old is just moving into 8-9! At Joules (where 8-9 doesn't exist), she's in 9-10!

I know a girl who was in 9-10 at 4! Some children are taller or have longer legs. In my girl's case she's just solid! The NHS child measurement & weight calculator (which takes her height at the same time as her weight) says her BMI puts her at a healthy weight for her age 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Kanaloa

Although if she normally wears clothes like she is in the photograph is the issue that you like a specific fit? Her shorts and top are both quite long - I find girls things at the minute to be quite cropped. Are you possibly trying tops/shorts on her and thinking ‘no that’s too short’ when actually that is the fit as it is intended to look?

Not criticising at all - this is an issue I have with dd6 because she doesn’t like there to be a ‘gap’ between her top and bottoms if she moves, she likes the t-shirt to be baggy and come low, but lots of girls tops especially are quite fitted right now.

Her wardrobe is pretty varied but she hates anything cropped! Nothing tight or snug either. She liked all her leggings, shorts, skirt etc to be pulled right up to 😅

Cropped tops are Everywheere. I struggle to find your average t shirt length anywhere!

She looks perfectly in proportion from the photo - in so far as you can tell!

In our family we have long bodies as a proportion to legs, so often have to size up tops for length

@Kanaloa

From the photo she looks in proportion, like any normal child. She doesn’t look to have a protruding belly? Or perhaps it’s not noticeable in the photo.

If she is taller than average then it makes sense for her to wear clothes that are a size larger than average. I mean is she the same height as an average child of her age? If not then it would be odd if the same piece of clothing fit both her and the shorter child.

I think Ito would be more noticeable In a dress or tighter clothing. It's not extreme... but she has those cycle shorts/leggings pulled right up 😅

@Ozanj

Based on those measurements, on the NHS BMI calculator she is on the upper end of the healthy BMI (77th centile at least assuming she was bang on 4 stones and hasn’t gained weight since). Considering she has a tummy, isn’t fitting into her size, and does look bigger than her friends I would probably get an appointment with a health visitor and get them to measure her properly as she’s probably bigger than 4 stones. I have a child who is smack bang in the middle of a healthy BMI (50 centile) and over the 105th centile for height - he finds everything (even H&M and Zara) too big as clothes are cut for bigger centiles. Based on that, I think she’s probably bigger than what you’ve measured her.

How DARE you?!?! What a nasty thing to say

@PinkyU

Children’s sizes are based on averages and “normal” height for weight ratios. If your child is wearing clothes far beyond their age then I’d recommend seeing their doctor.

6 year olds shouldn’t have “a tummy”, they should have visible ribs, collar bones, vertebrae etc. Their still developing bodies aren’t designed to carry excess weight.

The whole “sturdy, muscular, big bones, rugby player” etc really isn’t a thing in children who are prepubescent. Worst of all is seeing parents describing their 6/7/8 year old as “curvy” .

If your child is wearing clothes far beyond their age then I’d recommend seeing their doctor.

Excuse you?!?!?! Have you not read anything the OP has said?! Her DD is TALL...... Jesus H Christ 🤦🏼‍♀️ Some people

So it’s possible that might be the issue. Cycle shorts are usually very skin tight and quite short, but on her they look quite baggy. Plus tops like that usually hit the waist but hers is skimming her hips.

Nothing wrong with it if so but it may be that actually she doesn’t ‘need’ the bigger size but just likes a slouchy fit. I often size up because I don’t like things that are too fitted, I like them quite baggy.

Girls clothes are generally cut smaller than boys for the same age. I have two sons who are very slim, both wore girls jeans up until age 9 because they are a slimmer fit. The didn't work after that as they start getting hips in the cut.

It's perfectly normal for children to need a range of clothes either bigger/smaller than their age.

OP children vary so much I wouldn't worry. I'm only 4"11 so I've always been way smaller than average. Someone is going to be taller and then someone will be smaller.

I was a tall kid who always had to go to the next age up...my aunty (who had all boys) loved buying me clothes for birthdays etc so she could get all the cute pink stuff...except she always bought for what I should be in rather than the size I was. I was around your daughter's age when I became really aware and self conscious of this and from that age on always felt like I was fat. Truth is I was just very tall for my age and with long body too so awkward for clothes.

Be careful that your daughter doesn't pick up on this from your mil, even if it's done with the best of intentions it can plant a seed!

@Kanaloa

So it’s possible that might be the issue. Cycle shorts are usually very skin tight and quite short, but on her they look quite baggy. Plus tops like that usually hit the waist but hers is skimming her hips.

Nothing wrong with it if so but it may be that actually she doesn’t ‘need’ the bigger size but just likes a slouchy fit. I often size up because I don’t like things that are too fitted, I like them quite baggy.

She does like a looser fit but not too loose it's too big. Hates tight clothes 😅 they may be more like pedal pushers compared to cycle shorts. They come in a set and actually from last year so smaller sized possibly!

My DD is 10 and even she is low percentile for weight and just below 50% she generally does wear 10 -11 clothes but I agree with the girls/boys thing she has just bought a new coat from Zara boys section as she prefers the style and it is much roomier than the girl equivalents.

Your MIL sounds unkind but is she disappointed (not that she should show it) that as you say she can't wear the younger clothes anymore. Both my DD's friend's have to wear 13 year old clothes and th Mum's get frustrated with what they can find for their 10 year old girls. DD still fits in dresses etc from places like John Lewis but her friends are way beyond that.

13 yo is thin (27/28 inch waist) and very tall (31 leg) and at the clothes shops they're always really lost as of what to do, he's too big for kids, too small for adults. The general quote they use is 'he's at an awkward age'

My 5 year old wears 3-4 🤷‍♀️ it doesn't matter

Continental sizes with length in centimeters make a lot more sense

@PinkyU

Children’s sizes are based on averages and “normal” height for weight ratios. If your child is wearing clothes far beyond their age then I’d recommend seeing their doctor.

6 year olds shouldn’t have “a tummy”, they should have visible ribs, collar bones, vertebrae etc. Their still developing bodies aren’t designed to carry excess weight.

The whole “sturdy, muscular, big bones, rugby player” etc really isn’t a thing in children who are prepubescent. Worst of all is seeing parents describing their 6/7/8 year old as “curvy” .

I described my DD as sturdy - not sure why it’s not appropriate?

She isn’t skinny. She isn’t overweight. She is pretty solid - children can have different builds to other children.

I’m interested in this theory that obese children will be talk first.

Both my DD are tall. DD1 has slowed down now and is fairly average I think, but DD2 is taller than most of her peers.

But I am 5ft9 and DH is 6ft4. I assumed that was why

1. girls clothes ARE made smaller and tighter than for the equivalent age group for boys. Follow @volewriter and @letclothesbe on Twitter for some really practical demos of this. Not that long ago there was a whole thread showing how the clothes for boys had a waist that was significantly wider than the equivalent age for girls.

1. if your DD is tall (and she looks tall in the picture to me) then really there's no problem at all. DS used to wear clothes in much bigger sizes but they were too long - because he was significantly overweight. Now he wears clothes 2 sizes up and they fit him perfectly because he has lost weight but remains v tall for his age.

1. The older generation really do struggle with this. MIL would refuse to buy DS clothes in the size he actually needed because for her, that would be acknowledging that he was overweight. So instead, she bought him clothes he could never wear.

She's tall for 6 but it does sound like she's overweight too. My 11 year old (short for her age - 135cm ish - and slim, but not skinny) only weighs just over 4 stone.

Buying bigger clothes for her height is not a problem but if you're having to buy bigger clothes purely to fit over her waist / chest / thighs etc, this needs addressing.

Clothes are simply designed around an average, and by definition most people aren’t average.

My 8yo DS wears smaller clothes than my 4yo DS. The older one is very slightly built and below average height. The younger one is right off the charts for height and is very robustly built.

BMI isn’t a great measure either - my 4yo has a ridiculous BMI but it’s down to things like having extremely broad shoulders, big head etc, not because he is carrying fat.

The OP has said her daughter is under the care of a number of medical professionals. None of them have expressed any concern. And yet a bunch of people on the internet, with no medical qualifications whatsoever feel they are able to advise on a child's weight and diet.

This place is absolutely toxic when it comes to weight and eating.