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Original poster

Therapist wouldn’t tell me fees? Is this weird?

84 replies

CeceJoyce · 05/10/2021 09:30

So basically I contacted a private therapist as both of my daughters need help with anxiety which has gotten quite bad for them (ages 17 & 15). She replied and said she could call me the next day to discuss some of their issues etc. I said thank you and yes I’d be free to talk and then I asked if she could please let me know her fees.
She responded with a link to a charity and a recommendation to contact cahms (I have already done this the waiting list is long and we are in a fortunate position to pay for private therapy).

She said the charity may offer low rates.
In no way did I say I couldn’t afford the going rate but I’m in London so looking online I’ve seen therapists charge anything from £40 per 50 minutes up to £85. I don’t think I’m unreasonable to ask her rate!! But she hasn’t told me and just said to try this charity??
It feels a bit rude to me, is it unreasonable to ask how much she charges, do very wealthy people not need to ask and she’s assumed i can’t afford her??

OP posts:
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 05/10/2021 12:35

She is probably one of those that tries to work out how wealthy you are and how much she can get away with charging you.

Darkchocolateandcoffee · 05/10/2021 12:39

That is so weird and also rude.

I have seen a child psychologist in London who charged a LOT and she told me her fees straight away.

Magicpaintbrush · 05/10/2021 12:41

My 12 year old DD's therapist (who is very good) charges £45 for a 50 minute session - this is in Kent. If you're near the area I can give you her details if it helps.

Hoppinggreen · 05/10/2021 12:41

@Xenia

I think the problem is many who are cheap are not bound by professional ethics which set a lot of rules but they just don't apply to the cheaper ones.
Not always the case. I know quite a few therapists and councillors who are not extortionate but still adhere to all the required ethical standards. I have also come across some very expensive ones who don’t. Price shouldn’t be the primary concern when finding someone but cheaper doesn’t always mean bad or unethical and expensive doesnt always equal good.
TheFoundations · 05/10/2021 13:07

Don't choose someone you feel uncomfortable with to deal with your children's mental health issues. Doesn't matter what's 'weird' or 'right' or 'normal'. What's crucial is that you feel you've found someone you can feel comfortable with, who feels trustworthy to you, from the very start.

Same with any relationship. You (or your kids) thinking 'Huh? Is this right, because it seems odd to me?' is a no-no to the whole relationship.

Original poster
CeceJoyce · 05/10/2021 13:30

@GratitudeGoddess
She replied to my first e-Mail saying she’d call me the next day at 10.45 and to give her my number to discuss daughters issues and then talk to them… so I said yes I’m free, here’s my number and it was only after I asked her fees that she replied with the cahms and charity links.. bizarre!!

OP posts:
RavingAnnie · 05/10/2021 13:43

That's all very weird. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there though. If you are up for it I'd complain as a PP has said. She's sounds really dodgy and is not acting within the code of conduct.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 05/10/2021 13:55

I work one to one with people in a quiet setting.
Not as a therapist but I have a lot of therapists as clients.

Many of them have certain things they don't really like to deal with and child therapy seems to be one of the more common ones.

I have two clients that advertise as child therapists as they are qualified in it however don't really feel comfortable doing it.

They can be a bit strange op

Original poster
CeceJoyce · 05/10/2021 14:00

@wtfisgoingonhere21
She only deals with children and teens I believe or possibly up to age 25…
But hey ho hopefully I’ll find someone better!

OP posts:
sarahc336 · 05/10/2021 14:06

As a therapist I assume she's politely trying to say she probably cannot help your daughters. She's trying to nicely just not book you in without having to say no. As a private therapist we have no obligation to take a client on X

Original poster
CeceJoyce · 05/10/2021 14:49

@sarahc336
It doesn’t make sense though As I outlined the issues my girls have in my original e-Mail then she replied and said she’d call today. nothing else happened aside from me asking her fees. If she couldn’t help then that’s acceptable but she didn’t say that..

OP posts:
Pollypocket89 · 05/10/2021 14:49

No but you think a therapist would have the gumption to just say no politely not dance around hinting

PrincessNutella · 05/10/2021 14:53

I think the therapist was rude, but I also think therapists charge astonishingly little in the UK.

Maddy456 · 05/10/2021 15:05

She sounds awful! You are well within your right to ask about the cost.

Elieza · 05/10/2021 17:09

If she says she’s a member of a professional body I’d consider contacting them as she is being weird.

It’s like she didn’t want the work and was trying to put you off. Although even that doesn’t explain why she was going to phone you one minute and then fill the next with no replies to emails in between. Just weird. Dodged a bullet there.

user1477249785 · 05/10/2021 17:17

OP whereabouts in London are you looking? Depending on the answer, I might be able to make a recommendation

Smashingspinster · 05/10/2021 17:33

If you want a more practical approach, then CBT is the way to go. Not sure what the point is from a PP about accredited not being the same as qualified - to be an accredited CBT therapist you have to qualify for the title by undertaking training and have certain experience and ongoing supervision and continuing professional development. If you want a CBT therapist, check the BABCP website. For anyone you work with, they should be transparent up front. If they are not, I would consider checking out what their relevant professional body says about transparency.

IntermittentParps · 05/10/2021 17:51

@sarahc336

As a therapist I assume she's politely trying to say she probably cannot help your daughters. She's trying to nicely just not book you in without having to say no. As a private therapist we have no obligation to take a client on X
She hasn't been polite Confused and she's been inconsistent and unprofessional. I would hope you as a therapist don't think this behaviour is OK.
ToughLoveLDN · 05/10/2021 18:01

If you’re in London try Dr Carina Eriksen

Margay · 05/10/2021 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MajesticWol · 05/10/2021 19:13

@Smashingspinster A counsellor can be highly qualified and experienced but not necessarily have gone through accreditation (which is a voluntary process). A lot of people seem to think qualified and accredited mean the same thing, and thus an unaccredited counsellor is a bad one. It's not true.

MajesticWol · 05/10/2021 19:23

to be an accredited CBT therapist you have to qualify for the title by undertaking training and have certain experience and ongoing supervision and continuing professional development

Those things also apply to qualified but unaccredited therapists. Accreditation is a voluntary extra step, post-qualification.

mustlovegin · 05/10/2021 19:57

I agree with PPs.

Rogue or unscrupulous therapists are a massive risk in particular for young people like your DDs -as they can be quite malleable at that age and you won't be there to know what they discuss. You need to be 100% comfortable with whoever you engage.

I would assume the £200 quote would be for someone trained in a very specific area?

Smashingspinster · 05/10/2021 19:57

@MajesticWol, actually they don't apply. If you are not accredited or registered with a professional body in your modality, there is nothing to keep you doing professional development, or undertaking supervision. And there is no come back if you behave unethically. That is why most employers will only hire people who are accredited with a professional body.

mustlovegin · 05/10/2021 19:58

As a therapist I assume she's politely trying to say she probably cannot help your daughters

Then she needs to explain this properly to the OP