AIBU to have wanted DS to have his birthday present on his actual birthday and not 2 months early

[couchparsnip]

I think DH IBU but he thinks I am. I need other opinions please as I'm stewing about this.

DS will be 16 in December so we agreed with him that he could have a PC for a joint birthday/Christmas present and that it would go in his bedroom. DH agreed to put his bonus payment (which comes in his Sept pay) towards the PC. We share finances but I tend to do the banking admin. Which makes me think I might BU as maybe I am controlling things too much.

Anyway, Last weekend we moved a desk into DS's room and set his X Box up on there. This will be for the PC so he can do homework up there and chat to his friends.

DH has now taken the fact that his bonus has arrived and the desk is in place to mean he had to buy the PC and tell DS he can have it straight away.
I would have rather waited until the actual day as now DS's 16th birthday will be less special. He won't have a 'big' present.
Is it normal to give presents 2 months early? I didn’t think so.
We'll probably still buy DS some chocolate and a computer game for his birthday but I'm disappointed.

DS is obviously happy now but what about when his birthday and Christmas arrive and he doesn't get very much

We decided to move the desk because we were decorating the room it was in and thought we might as well move it now so it would be out of the way.

DH and I have disagreed about it and I'm not sure who is right? He thought we moved the desk so that the PC could go on it straight away and that was obvious. I thought it was obvious that people's birthday presents were generally given on their birthday- or at least near it.

DH told DS he was buying it then DS asked if he the plans were that he would get it as soon as it arrived or have to wait. DH said 'You'll have to ask your mother, but as far as I concerned you can have it now'. This is what annoyed me the most. He made the decision and backed me into a corner. I couldn't then be the mean mother who doesn't allow DS his PC.
So in a nutshell I'm annoyed because DH bought the PC too early for the birthday and then unilaterally decided to give it to DS 2 months before his birthday.
He says why wait and the desk is there so let him have it now.
Who is BU

Thanks for all the replies. I've read them all and can see I was being a bit unreasonable.
I agree that he's (almost) 16 and not 6 so can cope with not having a big present in his birthdqy. He won't have a tantrum! He's a good lad and works hard so he deserves it really. I think I was being unreasonable about that.

I think what I was most annoyed about was the lack of communication from DH. I had assumed we would be waiting so hearing DH say 'check with your mum but I think you can have it' was a bit of a surprise and I reacted with annoyance about being put in that position.

DH has apologised this morning. He says that he fucked up and he should have discussed it, and I agreed that the PC was best with DS now rather than later.

To answer a question : DS has been using DH's desk and PC to do homework on. It's DHs work computer though so not ideal!

I do appreciate everyone's replies. Thanks again

Both our DS have autumn birthdays, anything outdoorsy they are allowed at Easter so they can use it during the summer. Same with DS laptop, he had in time to start A levels.

Good update op 👍

@couchparsnip - sounds like everything has worked out very well

Thanks for the update op

Glad you sorted it out in the end but I felt when reading that this is much more about your feelings than your DS’s.

It must be hard being one of the few really hoping for his own computer, especially doing GCSEs and since Covid so much more online.

He’s growing really fast and will soon be an adult.

Old enough to understand that this is a big ticket item, but forced to wait until December so that it can have the effect of a big present, seems a bit arbitrary, as long as he recognises it is a birthday present.