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AIBU?

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Original poster

About school pick up and safeguarding

45 replies

Smarshian · 04/10/2021 20:22

Not sure if I am being a bit precious so would appreciate some outside perspective.
DD has just started in reception, DS goes to nursery locally and we do a bit of a mix at school pick up (some days I do it, some days she walks down to nursery with the nursery staff for wrap around).
Twice now I have had concerns about the schools handover process. The first time was in week 1 where I turned up to collect her at school and she had gone down to nursery already. It was a bit of a mix up as she just skipped out of school with her best friend and walked down to nursery.
The second time was today when her friends mum came to collect him and the teachers sent DD out with him, saying ‘oh she said you were going swimming together’. Her friend has just started in the same swimming group as her but I was collecting (her friends mum said this).
Am I being unreasonable to expect a bit of a better process at the end of the day with handover to parents? Or is this the norm in school? Nursery will not let anyone who is not registered collect the children without a phone call or email from a guardian so this is all very different for me.

OP posts:
Seashor · 04/10/2021 20:35

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
Smarshian · 04/10/2021 20:38

@Seashor I have no idea why you think anyone would make this up.

OP posts:
crazyguineapiglady · 04/10/2021 20:40

Yes it should be tighter. Make a complaint and they should sort their procedures.

I had a similar situation once - got to school to pick up child to be told they'd already gone with someone else - child was discovered wandering the playground alone! School immediately changed their procedures to ensure infant children went to a named person.

inpixiehollow · 04/10/2021 20:41

Hmm this sounds bizarre to me as i work in a nursery and we have very strict policies and procedures around pick up to obviously safeguard children.
In the past we have had children who had complex pick up arrangements that varied weekly and so we would ask parents to write down in advance weekly/fortnightly etc who was doing pick-up so we knew who to expect.
4/10 - grandma collecting
5/10 - childminder
6/10 - going home with friend
Etc

PeonyTime · 04/10/2021 20:42

I'd be reinforcing with my child what they were to do, and that they must only ever do what you have agreed.
Yes, school have slipped up, but your best chance us yo work with your child.

crazyguineapiglady · 04/10/2021 20:43

@PeonyTime

I'd be reinforcing with my child what they were to do, and that they must only ever do what you have agreed. Yes, school have slipped up, but your best chance us yo work with your child.
I'd agree with you with older children, but Reception children are unlikely to remember who they're supposed to go with each day and will just do what adults tell them.
Theunamedcat · 04/10/2021 20:44

Are you in England? My experience is England only and this wouldn't happen in any of the schools I took my three to they arnt even allowed down to the siblings classroom to go out one door 😑

Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 04/10/2021 20:44

I teach in an infant school and we only release children to named adults. Parents have had to wait a bit longer than they used to at preschool or nursery so that all 30 can be handed over, as we have a 1:15 staff to child ratio rather than 1:6 but hey ho. Any playdates must be confirmed by the parent phoning the office.

Comedycook · 04/10/2021 20:45

@PeonyTime

I'd be reinforcing with my child what they were to do, and that they must only ever do what you have agreed. Yes, school have slipped up, but your best chance us yo work with your child.
I really don't think the onus should be on a reception age child.

I would talk to the school and mention there have been a couple of incidents which have left you concerned.

YouMakeShitTea · 04/10/2021 20:47

Your reception age child walks to the nursery alone around the corner after school?

rrhuth · 04/10/2021 20:47

If you are in the UK that is not at all normal and I would be asking about it in writing to say that I had concerns.

Ilikecheeseontoast · 04/10/2021 20:48

I could have written this post today!! I don’t know whether to speak to the teacher or the head as I’m really concerned!

YouMakeShitTea · 04/10/2021 20:48

Forget that I'm tired.... I read wrong 🙈

rrhuth · 04/10/2021 20:48

@Ilikecheeseontoast

I could have written this post today!! I don’t know whether to speak to the teacher or the head as I’m really concerned!
I would go to the head and put it in writing.

Something as major as this is important.

Original poster
Smarshian · 04/10/2021 20:48

Ok so it seems this isn’t the norm and I should perhaps say something about it. I’m not overly concerned at the moment as I know quite a lot of the parents at pick up so I’m sure someone might flag if she wandered off with someone random (and I don’t think she would!), but it just makes me a bit uncomfortable.
The mix up with nursery I put down to a bit of confusion for everyone as it was week 1 and her days and times were a bit all over the place. My mum has also picked her up twice and I haven’t had to let them know or anything.

OP posts:
PassTheDutchyUpYrLeftBackside · 04/10/2021 20:50

Bloody hell, OP.

That setting sounds terrible.

You need to address it strongly.

rrhuth · 04/10/2021 20:50

I’m not overly concerned at the moment as I know quite a lot of the parents at pick up so I’m sure someone might flag if she wandered off with someone random (and I don’t think she would!), but it just makes me a bit uncomfortable. I think you're actually minimising how bad it is for a reception age child to be leaving without their parent!

Mcginn · 04/10/2021 20:54

@crazyguineapiglady I disagree, our 3 year old knows exactly who is picking her up from preschool each day and will tell us off if it get changed in the day! There’s been a couple of times DH has picked her up when I was supposed to and she’s declared ‘no daddy, mummy is picking me up’

So I think it’s worth making sure your child knows what’s supposed to happen, but also yes mention it to school

pinksquash13 · 04/10/2021 20:55

I think if this was a year 3 child it would be fine but a reception child should be handed over to the parent / carer. I think the nursery situation wasn't so bad as it does get confusing when kids do different things on different days but the swimming incident isn't great. I would speak to the teacher and confirm routines and say please make sure I'm there. Go higher than that if there's anymore problems. I know people get sick of this narrative but please think about the reception teachers before you go in cross / write to the head. I had a reception teacher crying to me this evening. This term is so tough. Can you imagine having 30 4 year olds with minimal support AND having to teach them. It's bad enough surviving a kid's party with entertainment for 2 hours. It's such a tough job ; they deserve so much more than they get.

rrhuth · 04/10/2021 20:58

[quote Mcginn]@crazyguineapiglady I disagree, our 3 year old knows exactly who is picking her up from preschool each day and will tell us off if it get changed in the day! There’s been a couple of times DH has picked her up when I was supposed to and she’s declared ‘no daddy, mummy is picking me up’

So I think it’s worth making sure your child knows what’s supposed to happen, but also yes mention it to school[/quote]
Think your child is the outlier here, tbh

Ilikecheeseontoast · 04/10/2021 21:01

@pinksquash13

I think if this was a year 3 child it would be fine but a reception child should be handed over to the parent / carer. I think the nursery situation wasn't so bad as it does get confusing when kids do different things on different days but the swimming incident isn't great. I would speak to the teacher and confirm routines and say please make sure I'm there. Go higher than that if there's anymore problems. I know people get sick of this narrative but please think about the reception teachers before you go in cross / write to the head. I had a reception teacher crying to me this evening. This term is so tough. Can you imagine having 30 4 year olds with minimal support AND having to teach them. It's bad enough surviving a kid's party with entertainment for 2 hours. It's such a tough job ; they deserve so much more than they get.
Yes this is very true. I don’t want anyone to get into trouble and I know everyone is trying their best. Sometimes things can be better though I guess.
Newmumatlast · 04/10/2021 21:01

@rrhuth

I’m not overly concerned at the moment as I know quite a lot of the parents at pick up so I’m sure someone might flag if she wandered off with someone random (and I don’t think she would!), but it just makes me a bit uncomfortable. I think you're actually minimising how bad it is for a reception age child to be leaving without their parent!
Agree. Even if it is someone they know if they get too used to being able to just wander out with someone unplanned they are surely more inclined to do it an unsafe time. And school more likely to allow it if not picked up early on
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 04/10/2021 21:04

My children have been at four schools now. They've always had a list of adults allowed to pick them up. And keep a list of children going to the wrap around care. However I don't have specify who is picking them up on each day.

I once tried to pick up a friends child, as I had done previously but friend had forgotten to tell school so they rang him to check before letting her come with me.

Original poster
Smarshian · 04/10/2021 21:05

The thing is the school have never asked who is due to pick up that day or a schedule - is this the norm?

OP posts:
itsallgoingpearshaped · 04/10/2021 21:06

You need to raise the concern. Politely and respectfully, sure, but it is a serious safeguarding concern if they are that disorganised at handover.