About school pick up and safeguarding

[Smarshian]

Not sure if I am being a bit precious so would appreciate some outside perspective.
DD has just started in reception, DS goes to nursery locally and we do a bit of a mix at school pick up (some days I do it, some days she walks down to nursery with the nursery staff for wrap around).
Twice now I have had concerns about the schools handover process. The first time was in week 1 where I turned up to collect her at school and she had gone down to nursery already. It was a bit of a mix up as she just skipped out of school with her best friend and walked down to nursery.
The second time was today when her friends mum came to collect him and the teachers sent DD out with him, saying ‘oh she said you were going swimming together’. Her friend has just started in the same swimming group as her but I was collecting (her friends mum said this).
Am I being unreasonable to expect a bit of a better process at the end of the day with handover to parents? Or is this the norm in school? Nursery will not let anyone who is not registered collect the children without a phone call or email from a guardian so this is all very different for me.

This is absolutely a safeguarding issue.

I suggest that you ask to speak with the head teacher to discuss it further.

Our school has a tight list of people who can pick kids up, anyone outside of that has to have a password in order to collect.

My parents collect dd 2 days a week. The first time my dad went to.collect her they demanded the password even though they had seen him with my mum for over a year. He was bemused, I emailed to thank the school for being so tight on the guidelines.

My kid is in reception and the school is painfully strict with collecting. We’ve written a form saying who will collect what day and have to email in before 12 that day if it changes.

My experience is that up to year 4 children are only released to parents or named, prearranged people. Teachers would absolutely not release a child even to another well-known parent without explicit permission to do so. Even from year 4 - 6 the children are only allowed to leave without a parent/named individual if they have been given explicit permission, in writing, to do so. This is all strictly adhered to. What you describe sounds extremely lax tbh. I wouldn't be happy at all.

YANBU but you need to make it 100% clear what days you pick her up and what days nursery picks her up and make them aware that no one else will be picking her up unless you ring ahead.

My DDS friends parents used to work shifts so it could be mum, dad, either granny, either grandad, aunties, uncles and family friends picking her up and I never knew how they kept track of it.

I would not be happy with that at all, speak to the headteacher

You definitely need to raise this immediately. I work am dbs checked my children's primary school as a volunteer. Both my children are in the Juniors and have been there since reception.
I regularly bring home other peoples children for playdates but on the rare occasion the other parent has forgotten to let school know, I've been made to wait while school calls mum to confirm with parent

This is very unusual in my experience. We have to email the office if someone other than usua is picking up or they are going with another child.
I think a polite email expressing concern should sort the problem pretty quickly and both of mine by reception would know if it was an after school club day or if I was picking up or if they were going elsewhere so try telling your child too.

This is a massive risk and I would speak to the headteacher TBH. There may be more vulnerable children in the school who are at greater risk or being collected by an unauthorised person.
Most schools around here only allow the named person/s to collect, unless by pre-arrangement/emergency with the parent (with a password etc).

That’s very lax, almost certainly contravenes policy and could result in a massive safeguarding issue. Absolutely needs raising with the headteacher.

DDs primary school were very hot on releasing children to the right adult. Her year 3 teacher didn't release her to me and I had to pick her up from the office as the teacher didn't recognize me as I never did the school run as I was normally working. The Office staff did know me and it wasn't an issue, I'd always email if someone different was picking DD up, if she was going for tea with a friend or if her dad or grandparents switched pickup days so they knew who to expect.

Yep it sounds crap. When dd1 started and I was using the breakfast and after school club it was an absolute safeguarding nightmare. They weren’t doing registers. They were tripping them all over from breakfast club building and then leaving them barely supervised on the yard. I was horrified. The breakfast club building was used by members of the public so that was another issue. I pointed all of this out to the headteacher and there was an overhaul. I’m a teacher so I knew what they should be doing. Sometimes you just have to be that parent. You should be able to go to work with peace of mind

i know quite a lot of the parents at pick up so I’m sure someone might flag if she wandered off with someone random
Please don’t be too confident about this, they could assume it’s an aunt/uncle they’ve not met or bystander effect could kick in.

I would speak to the teacher and confirm routines and say please make sure I'm there. Go higher than that if there's anymore problems. I know people get sick of this narrative but please think about the reception teachers before you go in cross / write to the head. I had a reception teacher crying to me this evening. This term is so tough. Can you imagine having 30 4 year olds with minimal support AND having to teach them.

I hugely disagree with this, you should go to the head because it is a huge safeguarding risk. Next time they could leave with the wrong person or another child could leave with the wrong person. What if a child in the class is no longer allowed to see a family member because they are a danger to them and they happily let them walk off together?I’m a teacher and I know how hard this term is and I’ve cried too, but I would definitely cry more if I was responsible for letting a kid out and then being abducted/hit by a car.

This would be concerning to me - your DD should be handed directly to a parent/guardian, she shouldn't be allowed to just leave the school unaccompanied by a specific adult, nor should she be able to get to the nursery without someone noticing she was gone.

Up until about Yr3 my DDs primary school had the kids in a line at the door, when a child gets to the front of the line the teacher would ask them to identify "their adult" from the waiting parents and they would not be released until they pointed out the person collected them and could tell the teacher who it was (eg "That's my daddy/granny/big sister/Uncle Mike"). Any child who couldn't find their adult would go to the back of the line (just in case their parent was late to pick up or something) and then at the end of pick up if their adult still wasn't there then they would be taken to the office. Any children who could only be released to specific adults (eg if a child was in foster care and could not be released to anyone from the birth family) would be flagged up at the start of term and the teachers would have a list of those children and who could collect them. Pick up always takes ages at the start of the year as the teachers don't know the kids, never mind their families yet but by the summer term it takes seconds as the teachers have got to know who regularly picks up each child, and it only takes longer if someone new is doing the pick up.

If your child was being picked up by paid childcare (eg if a nursery was picking them up for wraparound care but it was a different staff member that did the pick up every time) then you would have to send a letter into the school to authorise them to hand over your child to the other childcare.

They shouldn't be taking a story from a child ('we're going swimming after school') as permission from a parent.

This shouldn't happen. I work as a supply teacher and in every school I have been in there are strict rules about handover. I sometimes have to check at the office before a child can go with another person and if they aren't on the approved list, the child has to wait until parental permission is given.

Your school sounds very lax. We have to let the office know each day if alternative arrangements. There is normally a password as well. The class teacher gets the list of wrap around kids, clubs, normal pick up etc and then hands each remaining child to the designated adult at the gate. There is no way a child could go out with a friend who wasn’t supposed to (in your case to nursery) and a child wouldn’t be released to another parent on the say so of a child.

Sounds unusually lax to me. But I would have told them days she is going with nursery not waited for them to ask.

I’ve seen parents get annoyed at our school because school (quite rightly) won’t let them collect other kids (for play date or if parent is held up) if the other parent hasn’t given written permission, even when they know the person, know they are friends etc.

At reception IME the handover is very tight - they make eye contact and personally hand over child. If the child says they are going off with someone it isn't trusted at all - the staff have to phone the parents. If someone else is picking up then the school has to be told and it's put on a list. DS is in Yr3 and they still have tight handovers. It only starts relaxing in Yr 4.

I would raise your concerns via an email with the safeguarding officer of the school. Better now than when something awful happens.

In DS' nursery they had pretty tight procedures and double doors but toddlers are wily things and one slipped through with another set of parents and made off down the hill and towards an A road. After that they had to put an extra 'leg watcher' on duty for all handovers. The school will want to know and change procedure as they could fail OFSTED on poor safeguarding, or obviously there could be a tragedy.

Agree with PPs that this is way too lax.

DD is in Y2 and they still get let out one by one at pick-up time. Teacher has to recognise you and anyone they don’t know has to be checked for permission by the office.