Lazy unloving Husband

[Fedup1975]

Hi I'm new here and would just like some advice really. I've been with my Husband for 20 years but things between us haven't been great for a couple of years. He doesn't work(only had one job around 12 years ago which lasted a couple of weeks) and doesn't help out around the house, He goes to bed around 3am then stays in bed till the afternoon(sometimes not getting up till 5pm) when he does get up all he does it lay on the bed reading then repeats the process unless he goes to his Brothers house. he constantly moans about the house being a mess and when I've told him it wouldn't be as messy if he helped me out(we have two children who are teens btw) and all he says is he doesn't make any mess so why should he help clean, I do everything around the house from cooking, washing and cleaning all by myself even though my depression is really bad(been on anti depressants for over 25 years) Its now gotten to the point I can't stand being around him and def don't want him touching me as I feel angry and resentment all the time towards him, he's never been a very loving towards me apart from in the early months we were together, doesn't ever cuddle me or kiss me even though he expects me to as he calls it "Empty his Sack" I've asked him to leave as the house is in my name but he said he would only go once the children have left home so I'm stuck, he expects me to cook for him and wash his clothes which I've stopped doing recently and because I stopped doing those things for me tells me I'm the most selfish person hes ever met(Bare in mind I have gone days without eating when ill as he never offers to look after me not even a bowl of soup)I've also stopped being intimate with him(if thats what you can call it) as I just don't feel that way with him anymore so he tells me he'll find it elsewhere,(wish he would as he'd be doing me a favour) I justt feel so stuck lonely and depressed in this rut and don't no what to do anymore, I do still care about him but don't think I'm in love with him anymore. any advice is welcome Thanks

Speak to a solicitor and take some steps to divorce

Divorce this piece of shit, he doesn't tell you what to do. He won't leave then either.
If anyone said empty his sack to me I'd sew up my own vag with upholstery thread.
Vile, disgusting, pig. Go and see a solicitor asap.

Divorce him! What misery! Speak to a solicitor. Have a look at the Gingerbread site, they should have some useful information about separating. Unless you divorce him nothing will change. He sounds revolting! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

It's a parasite not a husband. Unfortunately you will have split your assets with him as you are married. But the sooner you do that the less entitlement he will have to your future earnings. Go see a lawyer, and come up with a plan.

That sounds like a miserable existence and you don’t have to put up with it. But you can’t just tell him to leave because the house is in your name, it is still the marital home and will need to be split in due course.

What you can do is start divorce proceedings, ask him to leave (he might refuse) but in any case start living separate lives until you can legally get him out. Do this sooner rather than later, whilst the children are still minors.

Bin him, split the assets and go for a clean break so the lazy shit can't go after your income for support/spousal maintenance. At least you will then be working for your own pocket rather than keeping him.

You poor thing. That is absolutely no way to live. No wonder you are depressed. Please get an outside perspective on this (friend, GP, counsellor, Women's Aid) and start taking steps to leave.

No wonder you've got depression. Get rid.

You need legal advice and a divorce. No wonder he doesn't want to leave - he's got everything he could ever want and he doesn't have to work for it.

He can take his sack and his belongings to his brother's!

Tell him that living with you and the DC he is harming the DC and you with his conduct. I am sure that the DC are aware of the tensions in your house. It wont be a comfortable atmosphere for them to be at home with a nasty person. You would be doing better for the DC by getting rid of this lazy waste of space and air cocklodging sponger

I'd have to start divorce proceedings and step one would be his immediate removal from the home.
Your kids are undoubtedly having a worse time living with 2 adults who can't stand each other rather than 1 adult at a time who's happy and not being goaded into further depression.
His decision to stay is nothing but antagonistic behaviour he's unhappy so you both have to be.

Yeuk!

I would follow advice up thread... Please speak to a lawyer and start taking steps to get rid of this peach of a man from your life.

I hope your depression will ease then.

There's a whole world out there where women have partners that are decent.

I hope you find one.

Divorce the scum. No need to even spea

*no need to even speak to it, just have it presented with divorce papers and enjoy your life.

If this is not a joke…… change the locks and get him to fuck… lazy, rude disgusting cretin

Changing the locks would be a bad idea since they’re married, unfortunately the trash has equal right to the property he contributes only ejaculate to.

I second legal advice and a divorce. He’s neither use nor ornament.

He sounds like a living hell. Speak to a solicitor and divorce him ASAP. Google divorce solicitors in your area and email them your situation and that you any a divorce. They will help you. You don’t need to put up with this shite.

Divorce. Of course divorce. Why didn't you divorce years upon years ago?

This is no way to live.
You have one short life, and here you are living a miserable one, due to this pathetic excuse for a man.
You need to find your anger and your strength and get rid of him. No wonder you suffer from depression!
I was so angry on your behalf reading this.

Is house rented mortgaged or tenancy. If a council or HA tenancy it could be that he has no rights to stay even if married. So get in touch and double check. You might be allowed kick him out immediately and then can move to divorce.

He's yucky BTW.

Another agreeing that your depression would lift if you got shut of him!!

My husband can grate on my nerves. Although he often works 70-80 hour weeks and helps out with the kids whenever he can.

You would do so much better without this clown. I literally can’t see any benefit of not divorcing him.

God, that sounds awful. See a divorce lawyer for advice ASAP.

Now is your chance to start a new life. The kids are getting older and you can be happy. Move on from this awful man. Honestly love, he isn’t adding anything to your life, just draining it.

Divorce him. Now. Tell him to go and stay with his brother in the mean time.

What's his reason for not working. As soon as a man refuses to look for work you dump him, they are worthless scum.