AIBU about his friend

[allthestarsdim]

Name change as have relatives on here.

Used OH phone tonight to message someone.

On his WhatsApp found messages between him and a mutual friend (F).
Have nothing against platonic friendships btw.

These conversations go back a while. At least 2019 from what I can see.

Many of these messages are flirty and sexual innuendo type ones.
Good morning/night messages everyday.
Kisses on every message.
We are talking 10s of messages a day.
Inside jokes and nicknames.

No photos.

Some have bitched about me, my mental health etc.

No mention of meeting up etc l, although they used to meet for coffee a lot pre covid.

I've tried speaking to him, he says she's his best friend and understands him, that's he's done nothing wrong.

AIBU that I think somethings going on and I'm in the right here.

I’ve seen the approach recommended by @MadameMonk used before and there’s a narrow window for it, but it can be very successful

Be brave @allthestarsdim you have nothing to lose at this point

Is his friend married?

@MzHz
Yes she is

@MzHz
Thank you. He isn't here today so trying to go over everything abs see what I can do.

Don't let him bullshit you into thinking this is ok, it really isn't.
He's having his cake and eating it. Horrible situation. Get out and don't let him back into your life. Let her have him.

@DrManhattan
The more I think about it the more angry I get.

I should of seen it a mile off tbh. They are so similar, same interests, upbringing etc. But I thought it was good he had someone.

I doubt she will actually want him when all is said and done. He's 15 years older than her.

Indeed, you know the players here and you know that this is just him being quite frankly idiotic and revolting, and her lapping up attention, probably bored with her life or something

So get your facts straight, information together on money etc and decide what to do first, but solicitor, counselling and yes to planning how you’re going to explain all this to family, kids and friends and immediately too, because that’s going to fuck her right over too.

He’s NOT going to make a mug out of you.

@allthestarsdim
You are right- she probably won't want him. It's all 'exciting ' at the moment because none of its real. They need to grow the f up. A big dose of reality will do that. Dont be surprised if he tries to come back, when she blocks / dumps him.

@DrManhattan @MzHz thank you both

I'm going to speak to my sister later as she's not too far and has room for us

I could of excused some of it as banter but everything else is just too much.
The sexual stuff is bordering porn like in my eyes.
But the thing that's got me is how he seems genuinely invested in her. Asking her how her day is everyday. Saying good morning and good night everyday. Sweet dreams my darling. Etc.

He's acting like nothing has happened and the old thing of not letting him have friends and I have issues.