Macncheeseballs
‘Why do so many choose things like nurseries so far away from their homes, little kids being ferried around every morning in toxic traffic’
So what about little kids being ferried around every morning and afternoon in toxic traffic on the school run?
You posed a rhetorical question/statement, but I’ll respond to share the reality of life for some people outside of your little bubble.
The nursery was not that far away. It was a 5 min drive to a neighbouring town on the way to my office location, which was another two towns away into London (not Central London). Availability for good nurseries is scarce and waiting lists can be very long. Middle DC went to same nursery, so we wanted our last DC to attend the same nursery as we had built up very good relationships with the staff. We’re still in contact with a Baby Care Nursery Worker staff member who we instantly warmed to on the first visit. They also live locally to us. A closer nursery (if we could have got a place) would have been closer to home but still not close to older DC’s school. No one really wants to move settled children from nursery to nursery unless they absolutely have to (e.g. a house move). We moved house for more space since last DC started that nursery, but still very close to our previous house. We’re now living around the corner
from our initial 1st choice nursery that had a 1yr long waiting list, but never even considered pulling last DC out of nursery to move them there for the last 1.5 years of nursery. Securing a nursery place was last minute as I wasn’t sure if I was going back to work until the last minute. Work tried to screw me over when I was pregnant with middle DC. Deleted my role and offered redundancy due to re-organisation. I continued to fight it whilst on Maternity Leave and stayed based on my Maternity Rights. I eventually moved to another department upon return to work after Mat Leave after being on Redeployment List and having to interview for another role (this is when work realised that they had really f**d up).
Couldn’t get middle DC into Outstanding 1st choice primary school that was the closest school to us (before we moved house) and a 5 min walk away from our house (oversubscribed). Occasionally did the school run, nursery and work commute on buses and tubes (eg. Car in garage for maintenance or for after work drinks), but that was obviously more difficult, inconvenient, took a lot more time and pressure to arrive at all three destinations on time with two kids, buggy and all of our bags. And then do the same all over gain at the end of the day sometimes frustratingly sitting on a bus in rush hour London traffic! = Late! Also equals stress and possible nursery/After School Club late collection fees.
DP has also worked abroad over the years for periods and was travelling abroad to another office location abroad once a month before lockdown hit. DP would often leave his car at the airport, so
we needed our 2nd/my car so I could do both nursery and school and nursery runs before driving into London for work.
DP has always shared school and nursery AM runs when he hasn’t got early meetings. DP also does/did PM nursery and school runs when he can. DP also takes kids to their various medical appointments when he can. Youngest DC has had at least four ongoing hospital appointments each year for the last four years in Central London. I now work school hours and I’m still WFH everyday but DP still prioritises his busy schedule to be involved in doing this if possible.
I have luckily worked for organisations with flexible working policies (minus the deleted post/redundancy whilst pregnant drama!). I have been able to start work later and leave work 10 mins earlier to avoid start of PM rush hour on major trunk roads out of London. Access to parking at work helped but this has not always been the case. I no longer work there and have no access to staff parking at my current office. When working at previous office location, I’ve parked 20-30 mins walk away from work and then bused/tubed it or walked the remaining distance. I’ve also parked at DP’s office and then travelled another 20-30 mins into the office via bus/tube.
Free parking is non-existent in most areas of London and it not everyone lives in Central London (travel Zone 1) or next to a tube/train station. Also, not every school or nursery is located next to a tube /train station in London. Same Zones 2-6. Parking tends to be restrictive and costly in ‘built up’ areas all over London (areas where there are transport links, tube/train stations, high street shops/shopping centres, places of work (offices/business parks) nurseries, etc. These areas exist all over London, not just in Central London (Zone 1).
I need to pick up a few bits of shopping here and there during the week and do a big shop every 7-10 days. Earlier darker nights are drawing in, colder and currently experiencing periods of lots of rain. Now lockdown is over, we’ll be visiting family and friends more who live in, around London and on the coast. Our closest family members live 45-60 drive away in London (not central London). DP runs two business and works long hours, so we would benefit from a 2nd car so I can get around a lot easier with kids and shopping in tow. I also need to collect kids from extra curricular clubs at school and other locations. I need to deliver and/or collect one DC to an extra curricular club at DP’s business twice a week after school and on a once on weekend. Location is a 10 min walk and then three tube train changes away (45-60 mins). 20 mins in the car. DP has been struggling to do this alone in the one car whilst also needing to be present and working at the business at the same time. We also like to pick up DD from the tube station late at night in the car when we can, otherwise it’s a 10 min walk home on quiet back streets.
DP finances three electric company cars through one of his businesses. 3yr old shared company car is electric. 2nd company car that I’ll be driving in a week or so is also electric. We can afford it, so it’s nobody’s business.
A very longgg post but hopefully it will help some people to understand why some people make choices that differ to that of others.