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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 2 car households are totally normal these days.

166 replies

Karleeb30 · 02/10/2021 18:03

I appreciate not everyone can afford to run 2 cars but it is a necessity in our case.

We live rurally with no public transport links. Dp works unsociable hours, I'm currently off work but have needed it for work previously , just not currently.. We have two dc who both have sen so needed for appointments when dp is at work. I'd also be very isolated without a car living where we do. We have thought about just having one buy it would be a struggle with appointments and no public transport links.

Basically we have dp's 15 year old trusty car he's had forever that he uses for work. He's had it for years. It's not suitable for us as a family as only a 3 door and small and wouldn't be great for dc.

Then we have a 6 year old (that we bought second hand last year ) family car which I use more than him but dp drives too at the weekends. Previously we had an older car as a second car.

It is a struggle to keep both going at times but both are pretty reliable so far (hopefully don't jinx it here) and haven't cost us much other than your average costs for a car.

I have recently received remarks off a family member. Saying we must be rich if we have 2 cars especially if I am not working (which is degrading tbh, people have no right to judge us in our current circumstances and they don't work themselves which is the funniest thing about it so they are very hypocritical.

We are not rich, we get by but living month by month especially down to one wage currently, we do struggle. We don't have any other luxuries!

We are fortunate we can keep 2 cars running because I know not everyone can but like I said we don't have much else in the terms of luxuries.

Aibu to think 2 cars is not a luxury in most cases but a necessity and people should
Keep their beaks out where it's not needed?

We are in that middle between rich and poor where we aren't rich (I wish) and we aren't poor either.

OP posts:
ToykotoLosAngeles · 02/10/2021 22:42

Because sometimes when OH is at work with a car, I need to go out and get something in the other car.

That's "driving at the same time". As in, using the cars at the same time. I didn't understand either!

Fizbosshoes · 02/10/2021 23:03

@julieca

People choose where they live usually. So people are choosing to live somewhere you need to drive. That is fine, but just own it.
Often peoples choices about where they live are dictated by budget. Where I live the main towns have a station with fast trains into London, the surrounding villages are generally significantly cheaper because they don't have a station, or secondary school or multiple shopping facilities . So people priced out of the towns might look to the surrounding villages...but need a car for schools, supermarkets, or getting to the station (if they commute)

These places, by the way are not "very rural" but you actually don't need to be all that rural to find a car essential if there isn't reasonable public transport

Macncheeseballs · 02/10/2021 23:14

Dalmatian- why does 'working bloody hard', mean you should all have cars?

HadEnoughofOtherThreads · 02/10/2021 23:51

Average earner and high earner in London. Had two cars until Summer last year. Now sharing one car. Was both WFH during lockdown. DP back at office 2 days & WFH 3. I’m still WFH school hours. Car used for AM school run unless DP needs it to travel to early meetings. I walk 30 mins or cycle 10 mins for PM school run. DP needs car for evening and weekend commute for another business. Planning to get a 2nd car during the next few weeks. Couldn’t have managed without 2 cars if youngest was still at nursery in an adjacent town. Worked further away then. Started a new job closer to home just before lockdown. Parking restrictions have increased near my office during lockdown so parking near office will be even trickier when I do go into office. Likely to be in office 1-2 days pw. Hybrid working was encouraged for all staff before lockdown.

It’s no one’s business how many cars you have or how you fund them, unless they are paying!

Mooloolabababy · 02/10/2021 23:58

I'd rather just have one car but dh has to go in to the office once a week (60 odd miles away). We live in the arse end of nowhere and we have one bus running through our village that starts at 8am and finishes at 6pm, it runs every 2 hours and doesn't even take you to the city, you have a choice of 2 local towns, both of which are crap. I have to drive dc to school as too far to walk.

CounsellorTroi · 03/10/2021 07:46

We managed for years with one car. For a while we were working in adjacent buildings. Then I changed jobs, so after driving to DH’s office I’d catch a bus the rest of the way. It made sense to do it that way as DH had a parking space. Then when MIL died we inherited FIL’s old banger. Having 2 cars made things so much easier especially after my DM went into a care home and I could visit her on the way home from work. We’ve had 2 cars ever since even though we don’t really need 2 as we are both more or less retired.

Macncheeseballs · 03/10/2021 08:20

Why do so many choose things like nurseries so far away from their homes, little kids being ferried around every morning in toxic traffic

Iggly · 03/10/2021 08:38

@Macncheeseballs

Why do so many choose things like nurseries so far away from their homes, little kids being ferried around every morning in toxic traffic
Maybe they don’t have any decent ones nearby. Surely that’s not hard to fathom
Macncheeseballs · 03/10/2021 08:41

Iggly, it is for me, I would choose a closer one over a 'better' one any day, the thought of getting kids into a car every morning is hard to fathom

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 03/10/2021 08:43

I find the comments that if you live in London you shouldn’t have a car strange. I live in zone 3, many many families have a car. We don’t all live in zone 1 and only stay there walking around museums and Oxford Street.

We do leave London to go to the Home Counties. It’s also quicker to travel from East to West London by car as most tube links take you into the centre and not across so you have to go in and back out and pay £££. We cycle to work and walk around locally but we use the car every weekend.

Macncheeseballs · 03/10/2021 08:45

Trains also go to the home counties

vdbfamily · 03/10/2021 08:52

We have 3 children, both work and have been married 20 years and live rurally. We bought a second car for first time a couple of weeks ago. This is because we now have an 18 and almost 17 year old. It has been interesting as now he had a car at home, most days my husband nips out in it. Before, if he needed a car urgently he would either run me to work or I would arrange a lift. The kids would know they could not do anywhere to I was home so worked around that with their plans. When DH committed to London from our previous house he cycled to the station. Before that, with 3 small children and me at home, I used to catch the 1 bus an hour to town and pick up car from where he had left it and then collect him later. It is hard to manage with one but we must have saved a fortune and I have definitely seen from last 2 weeks that when it is there, you use it a lot more. Whereas DH used to shop in evenings and order DIY stuff to collect on a Saturday etc, now he nips out each time.

vdbfamily · 03/10/2021 08:54

my reasoning for 2nd car is that oldest 2 now wanting to learn to drive and our car is not really suitable so we bought our neighbours old Suzuki for£1000 which is so basic it will be a great learner car.

nameswap48 · 03/10/2021 08:55

We haven't been able to be a one car household since we left London. We lived rurally with us both working out of the village, bus service was entirely scrapped. Trains cost £50+ per day (and would need to get to the train). We then moved to a town and hoped to get rid of a car, but kids were placed in schools 4 miles the other side of town so even though I am fully working from home I still need a car to get them to school (bus isn't feasible as it would take too long out of my day and I do need to work, kids too young to go on their own). DH works out of town literally no public transport within a 3 mile radius of his work location (and an additional 20 miles to get there).

Our town has no catchment for schools so very likely to end up miles away from secondary school despite one on our doorstop (severely oversubscribed) so I'm faced with either keeping second car or paying up to £2000 a year to bus both kids to school (yes £2000) and our car is cheaper to run than that- plus three after school activities etc. We might be able to get to a closer school but I won't know until allocated.

We've moved around a lot over the years, and the only place I've lived where public transport could be feasibly relied upon and was affordable was London (it's the only major city I've lived in just to add, I'm hoping other major cities have good transport too!)

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 03/10/2021 08:58

If I want to take my family to visit people or places I don’t want to catch a bus to get to train station, pay £££ get off miles from where I want to be, lug the kids in the rain to a bus or cab from the station to friends house. It’s far more convenient to drive to their door especially as my car is electric and hardly costs anything to charge.

There are also many places in the Home Counties e.g. Epping Forest which have no public transport. Went to the Midlands last weekend to stay with friends. Very easy to chuck our bags in the car and set off.

But I don’t know why I’m bothering to justify my weekend car usage to strangers anyway.

Redwinestillfine · 03/10/2021 08:59

Not really. We are a one car household and I know lots of no car households. We don't live in a city.

Abraxan · 03/10/2021 09:00

We have 2 cars (well 3 actually) as both me and Dh need a car for work.

I have a little one, ideal for parking on busy narrow roads near school. Dh has the bigger one, also for family use, as he parks in a car park at work. He uses his car to drive and see clients in the city and sometimes further afield.

Dh could get to work by bus easily but seeing clients would take far longer (so dearer to the client due to time being paid for) and be more restricted where/who he could see.

I could use public transport but it would take 3-4 times longer than car. I often have a lot to carry. And walking in bad weather is often painful due to arthritis.

The third car is DD's which actually may be sold soon. She's stuck on the not being able to get lessons/tests cycle and has been since March 2020 - circumstances due to Covid. She 'needed' her own car as both mine and Dh's cars are automatic (and electric) so weren't suitable for learning to drive manual in. Due to the Covid delays we might just sell it and get her a new one when she can finally do her test - delays currently mean it's likely to be another 6 months. She would benefit from a car, despite being at university, for her teaching practises as these can be a long distance away and it gives her more opportunities and choice of schools.

So yes, a luxury to have more than one car. But also a car is a need, not just a want, for many people in order for them to work efficiently.

Milkbottlelegs · 03/10/2021 09:01

@Macncheeseballs

Why do so many choose things like nurseries so far away from their homes, little kids being ferried around every morning in toxic traffic
Maybe they don’t have a nursery close by or couldn’t get into one within walking distance? Do you seriously think every village has a nursery?

Maybe they prefer to have one closer to where they work because the timings work better?

Maybe they chose one close to Granny because Granny does pick up a couple of times a week?

Maybe they moved house and didn’t want to move nurseries?

Maybe they’ve realised it’s not practical to get the bus because it’s impossible to get a pushchair on the bus at that time of the morning (and folding it whilst holding all the nursery stuff plus work bags because they’re going straight to work isn’t an option)

Would you like me to continue?

ToykotoLosAngeles · 03/10/2021 09:04

@Macncheeseballs

Iggly, it is for me, I would choose a closer one over a 'better' one any day, the thought of getting kids into a car every morning is hard to fathom
You'd have your child in the worst standard of care of 2 options, just to avoid a short drive?
Macncheeseballs · 03/10/2021 09:05

There are several stations near epping forest

Abraxan · 03/10/2021 09:05

@Viviennemary

A lot of people have now tried to manage with one car if they can. Working from home helps. The less cars the less pollution. That needs to be taken into consideration.
I don't know a single person with one car who has made that decision based on saving the environment.

They've all made the decision based on saving themselves money it now longer needing a second car due to wfh being made permanent in some cases.

Not a single one of them have ever said it was environmental reasons.

Macncheeseballs · 03/10/2021 09:08

Tokyo, well I'm sure our acceptable standards of care are very different, but yes I would choose close over 'superior', any day of the week, especially at that age. Over all quality of life is also important and transporting young kids in toxic traffic every morning is not part of a life I want to live so I don't.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 03/10/2021 09:11

Not a single one of them have ever said it was environmental reasons.

Same. We've just replaced our car with a nearly new hybrid, partly for the environment, but if DH were to need a car for work it'd be a £5k spend on a petrol runaround. I can't afford another hybrid/electric!

ToykotoLosAngeles · 03/10/2021 09:11

I'm sure our acceptable standards of care are very different

What does that mean?

icedcoffees · 03/10/2021 09:13

We're a two car household as we both need cars for work. I drive around visiting clients all day and DH works a 45 minute drive away and also has loads of equipment and heavy tools to carry.

Neither of us could do our jobs without our cars.