Escape FROM the country

[irishmist]

I live in a semi-rural area - we moved for the DSs when they were very young. They had a great life here and are now at uni and doing well.
I have a part-time job and DH is self-employed.
The mortgage has just been paid off. These are things in life to celebrate. However, I hate where we live. I want to move to a city and enjoy city life because I’m withering away here.
There is nothing to do and now that we’ve entered this next stage of life, I want to have a social life, enjoy concerts, go to museums or just have a weekend without ‘going for a walk in the hills’. I’m sick to death of the countryside.
The problem is we can’t afford to buy a house in the city. Our option would be to rent - extortionate rents - but at least we would be in a city again. I could get a full-time job.
DH is very tied to the house as a safety net. I just want a fresh start and to have a life before we get too old.
AIBU?

We live in a city centre and it is surprisingly quiet! Have a large flat with two teens...parking outside so little through traffic but within walking distance of all shops, cafes, park etc.

It's good for the teens too they can walk to school / clubs etc and I can imagine older DC or uni age would like it too in the holidays...we have a three bed flat...look on right move at maisionettes / apartments you might be suprised by how large some of them are.

Have a friend who takes in students on exchange / language which pays quite well, could do that while yours are away in term time perhaps. Go for it!

When we moved and told the new neighbours that we had bought, not renting they cheered up visibly. It meant we were committed to the neighbourhood.
Make up your mind that the new place is now home. You will feel better.

Could OP not just sell the house and buy a flat, as a cash buyer?

What would your budget be for buying a home in a city?

4 hours is a hell of a distance from a city!

I would never have made that move ‘for the DC’s’ because I have found city life to have been a great place to have kids, and for opportunities for teens.

I would now move to a town or a city for the following reasons:
-Being as isolated as you sound you will see a lot less of your grown up children than you would somewhere easier to travel to.

• retiring and especially growing old and frail in an isolated rural location can be really hard. No public transport once you can’t drive, miles to hospitals, doctors etc.
• Really hard on your grown up children to have elderly frail parents in an area with scant infrastructure. Ask me how I know!
• If you yearn more activity now, you will go doo lally when you retire!

Could you afford a flat in a city? If you are over 55 could you find one of the O55 houses that are leasehold? Or get a mortgage with what could be a higher salary in a city?

I would rent your house out and rent in the city to make sure it is the right move for you. But as a Londoner who personally would have to be dragged kicking and screaming into the countryside to live and who adores having everything on our doorstep, I'm pretty certain, based on what you're saying, that you'll love it!

It sounds like you have some decent plans. Life is too short to live somewhere you are unhappy.

I'm amazed that you are 4 hours from a city - that is extreme. I think you must be on an island or something, which sounds like an amazing experience.

I’m in a similar situation but my DP really doesn’t want to live in the city. I know it would make him unhappy.
I work half the week in the city and I feel alive when I’m there. (I lived there for 28 years before moving to live with DP).
Rural life does nothing for me and I do worry that I will get depressed but at the moment work is mitigating that I think.

Why not sell and move to a large town, but with good links to the city

I am assuming you have a specific city in mind - do you live in the UK as very few places are 4 hours from a city of some sort. Could you look at a different city?

If you've finished paying your mortgage then save for a few years and then move to the city for a year and rent your house put and see if your husband is willing to make the move full time. He might be easier persuaded if he is already in the city and liking it.