To want to go away for Christmas?

[doorornottodoor]

I’m being made to feel I’m being a bit selfish.

3 older teens who would also all love to go away for Christmas (somewhere hot).

My husband feels bad about his parents. I’ve suggested we see them before or after for turkey etc… but Christmas Day is literally In the middle of the 2 week break we get.

If we go away it will need to be far enough away to get heat so it’s not really worth going for a week.

My parents are pretty relaxed about it.

In my view Christmas is just a day and we can celebrate it whenever we want. We can do it the week before we go instead.

Bit of backstory too about me finding my in laws quite selfish/difficult so it makes me even less feel like forgoing a family trip! Now the kids are older I’m not a big fan of Christmas at home. All that non stop eating and drinking, lying about and the mess, the dark nights (we’re in Scotland) and the amount of stuff! I’m quite an active person and I just find it boring after the first few days. Weather here is always crap too.

We haven’t spent Christmas with them for a few years - last year Covid, year before my family , year before we were away abroad.

So AIBU?

@Frogsandsheep noooooo!!! Could you Zoom your sermon from the beach?

@Frogsandsheep grin noooooo!!! Could you Zoom your sermon from the beach? grin

I would love to do that but not sure my bishop would be impressed!

My job also means I’m knackered and cranky by the time Christmas Day comes as I’ve already led or been to approximately 12 Carol services and said ‘happy Christmas’ 2000 times!!

Your dc and mum you... Want to go away.

He wants to stay with his parents.

He goes to his parents and he either joins you on holiday or he doesn't. End of!!

But your not celebrating the day with them.

@ClaudiaWankleman

Ghastly? What, for thinking it's absolutely absurd that 4 people should sit stuck in their house/go on a holiday they have no interest in because 2 adults can't deal with celebrating on a different day? It's so incredibly selfish to think for a second that that's okay.

Pull the other one @JesusIsAnyNameFree

Let's not pretend your use of 'mummy and daddy' and 'suck down' was anything but unnecessarily obnoxious.

Perhaps so. I do tend to use that when I hear about unreasonable ILs

YANBU. I'm not in the UK, but pre-Covid we spent nearly every Christmas abroad. DP and I both have 2 weeks mandatory leave we have to take over Xmas, and we live in a place where you'd want to go away for more than a week to make it worthwhile. So if we want to go abroad then ideally it's best to do it over Xmas.

The most memorable Xmas trip was Thailand - on Xmas day we did an amazing street food tour of Bangkok by tuktuk. We wore Santa hats to make it festive

@JesusIsAnyNameFree - your username made me lol!

I think he's being ridiculous too. My PiLs and my DH's two youngest brothers went away for Christmas about nine years ago, and before they went they held Christmas Dinner on I think about the 19th and it was all lovely, and they had a great trip, we enjoyed a quiet Christmas to ourselves.

[quote AmanitaRubescens]@JesusIsAnyNameFree - your username made me lol![/quote]
@AmanitaRubescens

Why thank you! Things got very desperate

@sweeneytoddsrazor

If he likes one thing and you like another surely you should compromise. If you had the last Xmas with your parents, the one before abroad isn't it his turn now?. Cant you book a week away going on boxing day or the day after

That would seem more fair.

Alternatively if you are definitely going abroad for the fortnight over Christmas then surely making next Christmas a visit to his parents' house would be best.

I guess it depends on lots of things like how much his parents care about seeing their grandchildren at Christmas, whether they have any health issues/are likely to be around for future Christmases etc. and whether it's do-able to just move Christmas to 17/18th December or something.