To be angry with the 'best men'

[bridestrouble]

Long story short I get married tomorrow. DP asked his best men (2 friends) to stay this evening and then they were all in the same place and could get ready etc then travel together.

Just now DP has informed me that they are not staying (fine no big deal although they have a record for being late) and they are just going to meet him at the venue later on. This now means that DP is travelling and getting ready alone.

When I asked if he was ok with that he just shrugged and said he didn't have much choice.

AIBU to be angry about this. For context they are friends he's had from school, haven't done a stag or even gone for a drink/meal/activity, haven't paid for anything at all including shoes, shirts, suits, accommodation, food, drinks etc. But I also appreciate that I might be being a bridezilla so need opinions!

Why are they not staying?

Aw that's a shame. Any other friends or family he could ask.

Saying that dh best men stayed over and they were very, very hungover in the morning......so not always a bad thing!

@GhoulWithADragonTattoo just said no it's fine we will meet you there. DP said well it's just me at home so would be grateful if the company and they just replied with we will have a laugh when we see you there

They sound like shit friends

Is having best men help the groom get ready a thing now?

Is your DP anxious about it? Bit mean if he asked them ages ago, but if he only asked them this week they might have other stuff on. Ideally they'd come to meet him when they were ready and travel to the venue with him, this is the time he's going to be most nervous if he gets nerves.

Not really much you can do about it though.

Please do n’t let this overshadow your wedding, your finance is probably not bothered and it’s his feelings that matter in this scenario

On the face of it, that is shit. You'd think they'd be jumping at the chance of the evening together. What's their reason? Young kids at home, nowhere comfortable for them to sleep?

@GloomAndDoom

Is your DP anxious about it? Bit mean if he asked them ages ago, but if he only asked them this week they might have other stuff on. Ideally they'd come to meet him when they were ready and travel to the venue with him, this is the time he's going to be most nervous if he gets nerves.

Not really much you can do about it though.

He's anxious about them being late. He asked 3/4 weeks ago and they said yeah sounds good but have now changed their mind. I think he would like someone to travel with don't think he's as fussed about the overnight

@MindyStClaire

On the face of it, that is shit. You'd think they'd be jumping at the chance of the evening together. What's their reason? Young kids at home, nowhere comfortable for them to sleep?

Neither of them have kids, only one has a partner but they don't live together and she is on holiday at the moment. We have a guest room and a sofa bed so options there

Just try to enjoy your wedding! They do sound a bit shit, but I wouldn’t try to talk to anyone now as it’ll overshadow your big day. Congratulations OP, try to let it go and have loads of fun tomorrow. None of it matters but you and your husband being happy together in the end. Xx

That’s such a shame. Anyone would be nervous and it would be nice to at least have someone there in the morning and to travel with.

I’m sure he’ll be fine. Have a great wedding day!

I'd worry they'd be late too. Maybe not the best choice of best men! Could he give them a time to be at the venue 1 hour before?

That’s a bit shit. Could he ask them to swing by a bit before the wedding so they can all travel there together?

I’d be surprised if they’re late for a wedding, they may be late to the pub etc but that’s a different matter

It’s a bit shit that they’ve bailed on staying over, but why are you complaining that they haven’t paid for their suits and shoes? It’s normal to pay for the wedding party outfits.

It's shit that he feels like they have made no effort for him.

Does he have anyone else he can invite over tonight for some food and a couple of beers, even just brothers or his dad?

Is it far?

It's surely not that big a deal that he's getting ready & travelling alone is it?

That said, what are they going to do instead?

Get pissed (& be late?)?

I think the problem is not whether they are staying but their potential unreliability on the big day. Just tell them to be early or else there will be a couple of burials instead of a wedding.

@HarebrightCedarmoon

I think the problem is not whether they are staying but their potential unreliability on the big day. Just tell them to be early or else there will be a couple of burials instead of a wedding.

Wow. Just Wow. I am sure the groom is grown up enough to be able to sort his own best man arrangements. Fine to moan to his wife to be but its for him to sort.

And presumably even if they don't turn up, the wedding can still go ahead? Yes, groom may be gutted but that is for after the wedding.

sounds daft but are they the type to pull jokes?

As in are they saying this, and then could turn up with 5 other friends, a beer pong table and fancy dress? Just wondering that type of friends they could be...

He’s obviously just choosing whoever he wants, so I would do the same if I were you. Don’t have his sisters if you have others you would prioritise over them. If he’s desperate for them to include them, he can do so on his side (especially as he’s obviously happy including women on his side).

That’s awful, is there anyone else that could get ready a

Oops posted too soon…

Is there anyone else that could spend the morning and travel with him?