My boyfriend is from a culture that’s a little more traditional and men are expected to pay for everything.
I’m fiercely financially independent and always have been. I was married for 15 years and was the main earner. As such, I’ve always asserted that I don’t expect to be paid for by him and I know he finds that refreshing.
This is my first time ever dating someone who earns more than me (and he has infinitely more disposable income) but we still always take turns paying or split the bill.
However BF is very generous, particularly with him female friends (of which he has many), and sometimes I feel decidedly un-feminist about it all.
I can’t help feel a bit of a jealous twinge when he says he’s taking a female friend out to buy her dinner.
This week he went out with a mixed group of friends and commented the bill was very expensive and that one of the ladies had offered to help pay but ‘obviously’ the guys refused.
I couldn’t help but comment ‘funny…you never refuse when I offer to help pay….’.
I know this is a product of me absolutely insisting that I don’t expect to be paid for. He’s actually super generous and always offers to pay for random things (I’ll see something I like and he’ll say ‘why don’t I buy it for you?’), and I’m always super embarrassed and say no thank you. I’ve never once been able to bring myself to accept, although I’d love to.
Likewise I always offer to split the bill when the bill comes for dinner, and he generally accepts.
However, once in a while, I wouldn’t mind him taking me out the way he does with his friends and insisting on paying the bill. Who doesn’t want to be treated a little?!
Not sure how (or if…) to do anything about this or just to accept that I created this dynamic and just to be proud of myself for my financial independence and the fact my relationship is so balanced and happy.