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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU just to chuck it all in the bin?

300 replies

fedupwithit8 · 28/09/2021 23:43

I have two kids under three, have been living in a pigsty for years and am desperate to declutter and live in a more orderly house. I finally got round to sorting out the babies stuff and have a huge pile of things we don’t need anymore - including clothes they’ve grown out of, toys they no longer use, random bits and pieces like car seat inserts, pram seat connectors and more.

I’m desperate to have a clearer, tidier house as we’re wallowing in crap we don’t use. But I simply don’t have time to sort it all out properly and take it to the appropriate places like the charity shop, the dump etc. I’ve been meaning to for months and it’s never happened because we’re just so busy.

AIBU to just shove it all in 5-6 bin bags and get rid? Or should I really try to sort it all properly and dispose of it in better ways so other could potentially make use of it?

OP posts:
Harls1969 · 30/09/2021 17:43

Just chuck it out. I know you shouldn't, but life is too short. Says her who's had a mountain of clothes to take to the recycling on the bedroom floor for 3 weeks Confused

Eralos · 30/09/2021 17:58

Don’t add more stuff to a landfill. You can find the time (everyone can) you’re choosing not to.

Sort it out, find the time, get rid of it properly.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 30/09/2021 17:59

Do it! Do it if you can - I can’t.!I’ve tried but I just can not throw stuff that could be used. I wish I could.

JaycDeeC · 30/09/2021 18:03

I highly recommend the Olio app for getting rid of a lot of stuff easily.

OakPine · 30/09/2021 18:10

What will help all of us save the environment is to understand the horrible guilt as you throw all of this in the bin. Understand how many hours you had to work to pay for all that plastic crap. Understand that you probably only bought some of it months ago.

Chuck it all in the bin and enjoy your lovely un-cluttered house.
And then try your very best not to buy any more plastic crap.

I've been there. I have no idea how my kids ended up with so much tat. It wasn't their fault. If I had young kids now, I'd buy them nothing.
Good luck OP xx

Bellringer · 30/09/2021 18:38

If you can sort it, great. If not it will hang about, so get real and get rid. Don't feel guilty

politics4me · 30/09/2021 18:40

Do not let anonymous people guilt you into yet more work.
Take care of yourself, yes You @fedupwithit8 (like blokes do IYSWIM)
and breathe Ommmm......

Roxy69 · 30/09/2021 19:05

Chucking it in a bin is wrong. If you do a bit every day, say 5 or 10 minutes how can that possibly not be achievable? Also get a friend in to help, give the friend a nice piece of cake and a cuppa in exchange for an hour's bagging. You won't regret it, living with 'stuff' will suck the life out of you. Then be strong about letting more in. Reduce presents for the kids to 1 each at Christmas etc from relatives and don't random buy stuff. It will save money and you could have a better joint treat. Love is what matters, not things.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2021 19:10

It’s not just the time it would take to sort it all out - though that is a real issue for a busy mum - sorting it all out, a bit at a time, means @fedupwithit8 will have to find the space to keep all this stuff in her house, whilst she is sorting it out.

And the longer the bags stay in the house, the more chance there is that the OP will stop seeing them, and they will just fade into the background - and her house will be just as cluttered.

Grellbunt · 30/09/2021 19:11

@politics4me

Do not let anonymous people guilt you into yet more work. Take care of yourself, yes You *@fedupwithit8* (like blokes do IYSWIM) and breathe Ommmm......
This in spades

I hope OP has been to the dump already and has dumped this thread too

Nanalisa60 · 30/09/2021 19:19

Do you have a home start charity near you, if you do just ring them up and they will collect it all.

Kanaloa · 30/09/2021 19:25

If it’s ‘only’ 5 or 6 bags that can’t take more than 20 minutes to sort though.

If op doesn’t want to then that’s fine though, people are just giving their own opinions and experience too. For me I always donate at at my local refuge or my kids’ nurseries because I know it will get use there and I remember being in a position where donated clothing made a big difference in my life.

Etherealhedgehog · 30/09/2021 19:27

Freecycle. If it's active in your area. It's quite likely that someone will take the lot, especially if you do a decent post with a pic showing the good stuff. I know a lot of people use it to get stuff to sell on eBay so at least that way some of it is getting reused. Way less effort than trying to sell it and your aim is not to make money. Also, someone comes and collects the stuff - perfect!

Moneysavvymam · 30/09/2021 19:30

@fedupwithit8

Worst case, pop it it on a local buy sell page as a big job lot for free

Thanks, maybe I’ll try this. But I don’t have the energy to split it all into themes to be honest. Do you think someone would take a job lot of absolutely random shit - so baby stuff, gardening stuff, adult clothes, house stuff - all piled together as one load?

Yes! that will and honestly If you desperately can't sort it I would just give it all to the charity shop and donate an extra £20 for the trouble. Honestly the worst thing in the world is trapesing around charity shops looking for clothes or baby bits or something for Christmas while you're skint and not finding anything the right size or whatever. Knowing that people were chucking away towels when I only had 2 from my nan when we moved out, or looking for the next size up and not finding anything. I remember forking out £20 for 4 cheap towels and then I waked past someone's bin and they had thick lovely towels in there. I cried because it seemed so unfair. We live in a large city with lots of charity shops offering to pick up over a certain amount of bags or anything with furniture. Please don't bin it, it really is such a waste and lots of people are turning to charity shops now covid has hit jobs. I've also seen people nick the bags left outside the charity shop overnight and if you're hard up enough to nick from a charity shop... Honestly our local charity shops are rammed and I'm only just realising how good I had it before when they were empty! some don't even stock childrens clothes or toys and I think they're mad and missing a trick! the ones that do are packed like sardines
daisychain01 · 30/09/2021 19:30

@politics4me

Do not let anonymous people guilt you into yet more work. Take care of yourself, yes You *@fedupwithit8* (like blokes do IYSWIM) and breathe Ommmm......
How ridiculous!

The OP asked for opinions.

Just because some people say oh just dump the lot doesn't mean all "anonymous people" have to jump on the same bandwagon just because you don't agree. Some people have offered some creative options because the OP says she will feel guilty throwing everything in the bin

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 30/09/2021 19:35

People saying things like come on, it’s only ten minutes here and there, it’s only half an hour once a week (and there are loads of similar posts here so I’m not meaning to pick on one pp) — I don’t think you’re helping.

For people who are struggling with clutter and are time-poor, that sounds hugely challenging. Because it’s the mental load, the endless list of small things to consider, the extension of what could be one simple task (bin!) into fifteen small tasks spread over several days, sprouting logistical offshoots like arranging pickups or posting on freecycle or “just” getting a friend in to help — that overwhelms.

OctFeb · 30/09/2021 19:41

I know it’s a faff to sell stuff but i do make an effort to list some things, mainly stuff with names (Jojo etc). I took loads of used but good baby and children’s stuff to the local children’s centre. They are usually very happy to receive even big things like prawns/bouncy chairs. And any other clothes or shoes go in the clothes bins in car parks or outside our local school. The rest goes to charity or the right bin at the tip. I couldn’t just throw it away.

Joystir59 · 30/09/2021 19:49

OP, just chuck it all in the bin.

Lockdownbear · 30/09/2021 19:49

I actually don't know how it's mixed up in the first place.
Garden tools will be in a garage or shed. Kids clothes and toys in their rooms.
Surely when people are clearing stuff out your either do clothes, toys, garden stuff. I wouldn't fill a bag with garden stuff them lob baby clothes in on top.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 30/09/2021 19:58

Hopefully OP has made her decision by now. But I don't think it's always helpful to say "your mental health is more important than the environment so just bin it".

People who naturally don't give a fuck just bin it any way. People who hesitate to bin it have another voice going on in their head. If they can find a way to compromise (ie. not keep it all, not spend hours sorting it, but just make a small effort to sort rubbish from re-usables) then it will make them feel better than ever.

Lots of charities do home collections.

Of Freecycle "I have 6 black bin bags of stuff that I don't want to sort please come and collect", same on local Facebook, front garden options ... all are better than sending everything to landfill.

Hope you are ok OP.

mrbreezeet1 · 30/09/2021 20:18

Yes, try to sort it all properly and dispose of it in better ways so other may potentially make use of it.
Too much waste.

peppermintpat · 30/09/2021 20:29

Get a skip and keep going. You will feel fantastic! Most recycling doesn't get recycled and ends up in landfill anyway so do not feel any guilt about that. Any obvious large stuff that you could take to a charity shop then maybe pick that out but if you have loads of stuff then going through every single thing just isn't going to happen. Go in and go in hard!!!

TheCatTiger · 30/09/2021 20:37

YouTube:

Minimal Mom
Clutterbug
Dana K White

These people are heroes!

Seriously, I would definitely recommend all of these channels, especially Minimal Mom. When I have been decluttering I've put videos like this on in the background as I find it helps me to focus and to feel less alone and overwhelmed. Dana K White has tips on how to cope with clutter overwhelm.

Mulhollandmagoo · 30/09/2021 20:42

@fedupwithit8

Worst case, pop it it on a local buy sell page as a big job lot for free

Thanks, maybe I’ll try this. But I don’t have the energy to split it all into themes to be honest. Do you think someone would take a job lot of absolutely random shit - so baby stuff, gardening stuff, adult clothes, house stuff - all piled together as one load?

Yes, I definitely get it in as many local selling sites as poss, people take job lots so they can do carboots with them - maybe add that on the listing?
Lockdownbear · 30/09/2021 20:45

@Moneysavvymam I'm really sorry you went through that. Must have been so hard. I count my blessings, but would love to be able to pass stuff on to people who need it, but it's not always that easy.

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