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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take kids to birthday meal?

45 replies

giraffes2021 · 28/09/2021 18:11

30th birthday meal to be had at a restaurant on a Saturday night late on!

We have 2 kids 18 months and 3 years old rest of the family have 5 kids between them ranging from 2 up to 9 years olds!

Would we be unreasonable to leave the kids at home?? I couldn't think of anything worse than taking our kids for food at 8pm when they normally go bed at 7? Or do we just suck it up for one night ? We will probably get moaned at for not taking the kids as they will say the whole family aren't there?

OP posts:
DrWankincense · 28/09/2021 18:14

Jeez, no! It's just a recipe for disaster.
Either meal is moved to 5pm or you don't take them, 8 is not a time for your kids to be out if they are used to bed at 7pm.

Sexnotgender · 28/09/2021 18:15

God no, leave them at home if you can.

LakeShoreD · 28/09/2021 18:17

God no! The older kids in the family like the 9YO will be fine but there’s no way I’d take an 18MO and 3YO out for an 8pm dinner.

SleepingStandingUp · 28/09/2021 18:18

Can yo u say its very late for all the littlies so is it possible to bring it earlier?

Original poster
giraffes2021 · 28/09/2021 18:19

Are we not being a bit mean as then all the family won't be together?
It won't be enjoyable in the slightest kids would probably fall asleep on the way to the restaurant anyway hahahaha

OP posts:
Original poster
giraffes2021 · 28/09/2021 18:19

@SleepingStandingUp I've tried that no earlier bookings

OP posts:
FuckingFlumps · 28/09/2021 18:20

Fuck no. I'm with you it's going to be an absolutely shit night for everyone if you bring 2 small children to a meal starting so late. You'll inevitably be on edge and you won't get to socialise. Plus you'll be dealing with the fallout next day of them being out of routine and having much later bedtime.

Definitely leave them at home if you have the option.

Dollywilde · 28/09/2021 18:21

I can’t speak from experience with the 3go but with the 18mo we have had success at doing a grown up meal out by nudging nap time - so doing a 1.30 - 3 rather than her usual 12.00 - 1.30. We don’t have reliable babysitters so it’s easier for us.

That said if you do have someone who can happily look after them then god yes - why would you put yourself through grouchy little ones at dinner when you can avoid it?

My DSis is doing her 30th as a lunch for this very reason…

Dogscanteatonions · 28/09/2021 18:21

If your family want all the kids there they need to have it at a child friendly time. 6pm would be far better - can you suggest that?

Lazypuppy · 28/09/2021 18:22

We've always just carried on as normal with our dd, take some toys and the youngest may fall asleep after food in the pushchair if tired. Surely the 3yo can play with the other kids? Take a tablet ao they can all watch a film after dinner or something?

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 28/09/2021 18:22

It would be more mean to take such young children to a restaurant that late. To the children and the other diners!
It's not like it's Granny"'s 90th or something, it's a 30th. Has the birthday person got small children?

swashbucklecheer · 28/09/2021 18:24

OMG it would be a nightmare. Kids tired, you stressed, then kids out of routine and next day a nightmare too. I wouldn't even entertain taking them!

FuckingFlumps · 28/09/2021 18:25

@Lazypuppy

We've always just carried on as normal with our dd, take some toys and the youngest may fall asleep after food in the pushchair if tired. Surely the 3yo can play with the other kids? Take a tablet ao they can all watch a film after dinner or something?
Honestly you just fell lucky that your daughter was happy to roll with the changes. Trust me some children will turn into demons even if try really hard to go with the flow and carry on as normal. It's quite often not the parenting that determines if things like late night meals will be a success it's the child's personality.
Original poster
giraffes2021 · 28/09/2021 18:25

@swashbucklecheer I know I'd already be dreading the next day when both super grouchy

OP posts:
PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 28/09/2021 18:25

@Lazypuppy

We've always just carried on as normal with our dd, take some toys and the youngest may fall asleep after food in the pushchair if tired. Surely the 3yo can play with the other kids? Take a tablet ao they can all watch a film after dinner or something?
You are the people other diners dread I bet! At 8pm anyway. It's a restaurant not a playground or cinema. Hmm
Original poster
giraffes2021 · 28/09/2021 18:26

I can already imagine my youngest kicking off he doesn't sit still at the best of times

OP posts:
goawayalcg · 28/09/2021 18:26

I would hate to be in a restaurant at 8 pm on a Saturday night next to a table with children that young.

BrendaBubbles · 28/09/2021 18:26

Are we not being a bit mean as then all the family won't be together?

As we learnt in a recent thread a lot of people won’t even have kids at their weddings so a single meal is child’s play. Or not, as the case is.

Flumo · 28/09/2021 18:27

I wouldn't bring mine at that age, go have fun.

Original poster
giraffes2021 · 28/09/2021 18:27

@goawayalcg hahaha I know I said that to my DP I was like I'd be a bit miffed if we went for a meal and ended up being next to a load of kids hahaha

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 28/09/2021 18:29

Does the 30th birthday girl/boy want them there?

TipseyTorvey · 28/09/2021 18:29

Absolutely no. People without kids or older people who have forgotten what young kids are like are all for 'let's have a family event at 8pm to 11pm' which I gather works if you're Spanish (my Spanish friends think we're the weirdos) but if your kids are used to a bath at 7 and stories and sleep then it will be deeply unpleasant.

Just10moreminutesplease · 28/09/2021 18:29

@giraffes2021

Are we not being a bit mean as then all the family won't be together? It won't be enjoyable in the slightest kids would probably fall asleep on the way to the restaurant anyway hahahaha
No of course you’re not being mean. If your children won’t enjoy it, you’re just putting them first by not dragging them along!

Get a babysitter and have a lovely night Wine.

Original poster
giraffes2021 · 28/09/2021 18:30

@MichelleScarn yeah she probably would

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 28/09/2021 18:50

If the family altogether part is the most important then you have a lunch not a dinner. I eat before 8, DD would be miserable eating at that time. Don’t take them, don’t tolerate any push back. They’re your DC and you know them best. It’s ridiculous to plan a late dinner and expect small children to attend.