To not contribute anymore?

[Ludic]

Quick overview of the finances so the post makes sense...

Me and DH both work, we put enough in a joint account to split bills and into a joint savings account and then the rest we keep for ourselves. We both get roughly the same amount each month.

We have one DC together and he has older DC from a previous relationship who live with his 50% of the time.

It tends to work out that I end up paying for a lot of things for our joint DC myself. I genuinely don't really mind this. I'm much more prone to "treats" than DH is. We both pay toward necessities i.e. nursery, food, clothes but I also tend to spend a lot more of my money on just things for DS, days out, treats, nice clothes that he doesn't necessarily need but I want to get iyswim.

Anyway, the subject of Christmas has recently come up. DS is now at an age where he is excited for this and is able to understand a bit better what it is. In years previously I have always just paid half of whatever we got DSC however this year I've said I won't be able to do that and DH will have to save and cover more of that as I'll be buying a lot of DS's presents.

DSC are older and their presents are always eye watering expensive, like computers, game consoles etc.. that sort of thing. I don't want to be limited in what I can spend on DS because I'm having to pay half of extortionate presents for two DSC as well.

I have told DH I'm happy to put to a small amount and pick up some "bits" if I'm out shopping but I'm not going to fork out hundreds from now on for DSC so he'll need to factor that into his saving.

He thinks I'm being unreasonable and we should just split whatever we spend on all 3 DC 50:50.

The problem with that is I just know I'll end up buying most of DS's presents as I do with most other things.

AIBU to put to a smaller amount from now on?

start cutting back on what your biological child will receive - whatever needs to be done

Why on earth would I cut back on what my DC will receive? They will already get much less spent on them by virtue of the fact the type of presents a child their age gets are less expensive.

Also, if you're so pro "treating everyone equally" how on earth does cutting what I get my child for into that?

Fit*

OP,

YANBU.

You are paying towards two children that are NOT yours.

He pays little towards your child together.
He is taking the piss and a CF.

You would be far wiser to start paying money into a savings account for YOUR child for his future.

You are just another step mother being taken for a thankless ride.

You need to be a LOT more firm.
Children get a LOT more expensive as they grow up and you are being ripped off by your husband.

HIS children's gifts are NOT your responsibility.

You are both foolish and financially naive to be putting up with this.

He is taking you for a MUG.

Put it to him another one, you can only afford 50 quid for each child. Tell him to go and buy what he can for £100 for each of them.

If you are taking DS somewherey on your own, then I see that you paying is fair. But at the same time DH should be paying half of any family days out to petting zoos etc Just because he’s too lazy to arrange anything doesn’t mean he shouldn’t contribute.

As far as Christmas goes, you need to decide a budget which includes all the stocking fillers, new jumpers etc etc and then decide how to split it. Don’t underestimate how much the bits & pieces cost.