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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’ve stolen someone’s shopping. Do I own up?!

251 replies

RachyRoo1 · 26/09/2021 22:25

I’ve name changed for this. I feel absolutely awful….

My shopping was delivered tonight.
As I was putting the bags in the house, the delivery driver told me that my “meat” bag was on the top of the tray of bags.

I wasn’t really paying much attention to what was in the bag, but I do remember thinking that it was heavy that I didn’t remember ordering that much meat…. I then briefly thought DH must’ve added it on.
I did think to myself, I wonder if this is even ours, but brushed it off as me just over thinking.

Once the driver had gone and I was unpacking the bags, I was checking off my items against the delivery sheet and realised the items infact weren’t on the list.

I checked with DH and he hadn’t ordered them, so we have been given a bag of meats by mistake.

We have….
2 x pack of chicken breasts
1 x pack of diced chicken
2 x pack of sirloin steak
2 x pack 20% fat beef mince
1 x pack 5% fat beef mince
1 x pack pork meat balls

I feel really awful about it now. I should’ve spoken up at the time.
I was rushing and just trying to get my bags in the house as quickly as I could.
DH has often added things to our shop last minute and I did just think he’d most likely done the same this week.

So what do I do now. Do I contact the supermarket and take the items back?
What if these items belong to someone old / vulnerable and they were reliant on them…

I’ve stolen someone’s shopping and I feel shit about it now.

OP posts:
Furries · 27/09/2021 00:10

You haven’t stolen it. It’s a mistake. As others have said, just phone the central call number in the morning and it will all be sorted out.

Am surprised by the couple of posters who say don’t do anything and just keep it! I mean, the end result is likely to be that OP is told to keep the goods. But WTF wouldn’t you do the decent thing in the first place and flag it? Definite CF territory there!

Summersun2020 · 27/09/2021 00:15

@Furries yes, so cheeky to multi billion pound corporate giant Tesco who have inconvenienced the OP in the first place by fucking her delivery up. Hmm

Frannibananni · 27/09/2021 00:16

FFS You’ve emailed, job done. they can contact you if they want it back (they won’t). They will redeliver the missing items (new ones they can’t redeliver one from your house, it against the rules) to the other person.

Fruitbatdancer · 27/09/2021 00:22

This happened to me in the first lockdown, it was marvellous and due to covid/ H&S they can’t take it back. They were fine and just said thanks for letting us know (ours was click and collect, they unloaded it, we had a whole tray of someone else’s!
We got: 4 boxes of chocolate cereal, 48 Kit Kat’s, 3 bags of tangfastics, 8 bars of galaxy, a bag of kids lollies and 3 packs of strawberry laces! Oh and some cookies. Honestly HIGHlIGHT of lockdown!!! Even son and DH were thrilled! 🤣

user1473878824 · 27/09/2021 00:23

@thisplaceisweird

I wouldn't do anything. The supermarket will replace the meat for the other customer. Owning up won't help anyone at this stage, save yourself or the driver the effort.
“Owning up” is the normal, adult thing to do if something like this happens. OP just call and explain.
Redsquirrel5 · 27/09/2021 00:26

OP just pay it forward and buy something for Christmas ( charity) or donate things to the food bank.

Furries · 27/09/2021 00:31

[quote Summersun2020]@Furries yes, so cheeky to multi billion pound corporate giant Tesco who have inconvenienced the OP in the first place by fucking her delivery up. Hmm[/quote]
Couldn’t give a toss who the retailer is, it’s bloody cheeky to take something that you haven’t paid for. If only for the fact that reporting it backs up the claim of the poor sod that’s missing what they actually ordered.

But it’s usually CFs that come up with reasoning such as yours!

EerieSilence · 27/09/2021 00:37

@Furries are you for real?
This is a very clear situation that can happen: delivery fucked up, it's up to the supermarket to fix it.
I sincerely don't get why OP is getting all emotional about it. It's not her duty to check the delivery on arrival item by item. She didn't steal anything.
OP managed to create a drama out of a non-event but that's hardly a reason to get all judgmental and holier than thou.

EmmaC78 · 27/09/2021 00:41

I think you are making a massive deal over nothing to be honest. Phone in the morning and explain what has happened. That's your part done. Just leave the rest to the supermarket. It will take a few minutes to resolve.

Verite1 · 27/09/2021 00:43

I had similar the other day but with expensive toiletries instead of food. I emailed company (Ocado) and they told me to keep them.

theThreeofWeevils · 27/09/2021 00:47

don't get why OP is getting all emotional about it
Supermarket deliveries weren't a thing during my grandmother's lifetime, but she would have been horrified and felt like a thief even if the shop manager had turned up to tell her in person, with a chitty, that she was fine to keep the ruddy meat.
Scrupulously honest, was Gran. Also madder than your average hatter, but there it is Grin Not suggesting OP is mad, but I do sort of understand why she feels bad.

SelkieQualia · 27/09/2021 00:48

I don't even bother calling any more. Once the food leaves the truck, the supermarket can't take it back. The person who is missing food will contact the supermarket and get refunded.

simitra · 27/09/2021 00:49

One day I noticed that about 50% of my shopping was incorrect and obviously something that a family with chilren would order. It had been wrongly labelled. The driver took the "wrong " items away and I phoned customer services to get a replacement delivered. 30 minutes later the driver phoned and said he was on the way back with my correct shopping.

It turned out the order pickers had put the wrong labels on 3 complete trays so 3 customers would have got the wrong shopping had I not alerted the driver. He was able to sort out the deliveries so that everythone eventually got their correct order.

SelkieQualia · 27/09/2021 00:50

@Furries

You haven’t stolen it. It’s a mistake. As others have said, just phone the central call number in the morning and it will all be sorted out.

Am surprised by the couple of posters who say don’t do anything and just keep it! I mean, the end result is likely to be that OP is told to keep the goods. But WTF wouldn’t you do the decent thing in the first place and flag it? Definite CF territory there!

I used to call. The supermarkets don't care.
Furries · 27/09/2021 01:04

[quote EerieSilence]@Furries are you for real?
This is a very clear situation that can happen: delivery fucked up, it's up to the supermarket to fix it.
I sincerely don't get why OP is getting all emotional about it. It's not her duty to check the delivery on arrival item by item. She didn't steal anything.
OP managed to create a drama out of a non-event but that's hardly a reason to get all judgmental and holier than thou.[/quote]
Yes, I’m for real. And there’s nothing “holier than thou” about flagging up that you’ve been given goods that you didn’t order/pay for.

Yes, the supermarket fucked up and will sort it out - no dispute there. And yes, I think the OP has been a bit OTT with regards to the guilt.

But I still think it’s CF behaviour, as suggested by a couple of people, to not even bother to let the retailer know that you’ve got items you haven’t paid for. Not to be holier than thou, but more to support the person who will be calling to say they haven’t received part of their delivery - which probably amounts to a fair bit if it was all meat.

Am pretty sure that, at some point in one of the lockdowns, there were a couple of threads on here re people who didn’t receive their takeaway deliveries. When they logged a complaint, they were then banned from using the service - as other people were trying to shaft the delivery companies by claiming refunds even when they had received the food. So the companies put a blanket ban on those lodging complaints. Wouldn’t be surprised if supermarkets start doing the same at some point - so someone flagging they’ve got goods they didn’t order could help out the true recipient.

Anyway, will jog off now to polish my supposed halo.

HeadPain · 27/09/2021 01:08

@RachyRoo1

So do I call the local supermarket or a main contact center?

What if they ask me why I didn’t check before taking it in? 😩

I was just in such a rush trying to get my bags in the house, I did think it was a lot of meat, but it’s not uncommon for DH to add on stuff.

I don’t even know how a full bag of meat can be given to someone by mistake.

Main contact centre. They won't ask you that. They won't ask anything like that. They will probably be surprised you even phoned to tell them. They'll probably apologise to you. You haven't stolen it. You haven't done anything wrong.
SelkieQualia · 27/09/2021 01:09

I've been using home delivery for all my groceries for ages. From time to time, stuff doesn't turn up. We just contact the supermarket, and they refund. No fuss. They don't need someone to "back it up". When I've reported extra items in the past, they really didn't seem to care.

HeadPain · 27/09/2021 01:13

@RachyRoo1

I’ve tried calling and they closed at 10pm. Many delivery was just after 9.30pm.

I will have to call in the morning. I feel so guilty about it.

I wouldn’t feel so bad if it was just a few bits, but this could be part of someone’s weekly shop.
What if they can’t get another delivery or out to the shops. 😓

There's no point worrying. The person will have the food delivered tomorrow. They won't have been eating that at that time of night.
EKGEMS · 27/09/2021 01:18

You honestly sound like you're afraid the cops are gonna appear and throw you in jail! Relax! The grocery store made a mistake-they have allowances for losses such as breakage/spillage and things like this.

Furries · 27/09/2021 01:19

@SelkieQualia

I've been using home delivery for all my groceries for ages. From time to time, stuff doesn't turn up. We just contact the supermarket, and they refund. No fuss. They don't need someone to "back it up". When I've reported extra items in the past, they really didn't seem to care.
I agree, it doesn’t need to be “backed up’ necessarily, that’s not quite what I meant. And they’re normally pretty good at sorting out errors.

But I still think it’s wrong to just keep stuff you haven’t paid for without letting them know. And I do have some concerns that, at some point, things might change. The pinch is starting to be felt everywhere. There could come a point where, with deliveries being more commonplace, that supermarkets won’t be as helpful with regards to missing items. And, on the flip side, that people will fraudulently start to report missing items because it seems like a good way to save money.

Yes, am definitely overthinking that part, but retailers will always keep an eye on the numbers and, the more they see dips in profits for mistakes re deliveries, the more they will look to reduce those costs.

Kiduknot · 27/09/2021 01:19

Not your fault. Don’t worry, just let them know.

MitheringMytryl · 27/09/2021 01:50

My local Woolies do this to me all the time- give someone else my meat or frozen stuff so it's missing from my shopping. I complain to them and then they refund me. That's it.

It's annoying for the other person but I wouldn't worry. They will get a refund.

Pixxie7 · 27/09/2021 02:17

I would contact the store in case the delivery driver has to pay for loses.

WindyRose · 27/09/2021 03:04

OP they delivered a bag with 3 items that didn't belong to my order and as soon as I discovered I phoned the main service centre so they could phone the delivery driver and he could return to collect these items and take them to the rightful owner.

But I was told to keep and eat them because legally they are not permitted to re-deliver food (specially during Covid) to another household because they could be spreading the virus and this was a health regulation. I'm not in the UK but imagine it would be similar in your area.

They did thank me for being honest and said most people don't bother.

FateHasRedesignedMost · 27/09/2021 03:35

They can’t take it back as they have no guarantee you stored it properly. They’ll supply the missing meat to the correct owner for free, don’t worry. I’m sure the person who ordered it has already rung the store to complain. Personally I wouldn’t ring as it points the finger at the delivery guy rather than the huge team of packers and loaders (who could also have made the mistake but the driver delivered it). They’ll assume someone packed the bag wrong or left it off the truck or it fell out rather than the driver delivered it to the wrong house.

I once got a set of saucy undies through the post, the pack was sandwiched between my own parcels and the postman gave me the whole lot, tied up with a rubber band. My parcels were stuff for a party I’d ordered well ahead so I didn’t open anything for a week. When I realised the lingerie was addressed to my neighbour (having not read the address) I was too embarrassed to go next door and give it to her. She’s a lovely lady and very respectable. So I re-packaged it, readdressed it and re-posted it 😳