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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not enjoy the weekends

52 replies

Wafflethefuckinwonderdog · 26/09/2021 17:11

Posting here for traffic. It's not a real AIBU I guess but does anyone else feel the same? I'm a teacher working four days with two young kids. Husband pulls his weight but we have no other help as grandparents are too far away. I work my backside off in the week, running around after kids. Jobs like cleaning and general bits and bobs get out off until the weekend as I often have planning to do in the evenings. I just find that I look forward to the weekend but it's the same crap - cleaning, tidying, ironing and sorting out homework. Then I have to do my own work. Husband is grumpy as as he is exhausted too. I look forward to weekend but it just feels relentless and then it's Monday morning again.

Sorry for moaning as it's completely first world problems I know. I know I should plan things to do but I just don't. I suffer from anxiety and take anti depressants and I'm constantly tired. I'm just fed up.

OP posts:

scully29 · 26/09/2021 17:17

I would downsize your weekend business maybe, id defo cut out ironing that seems unnecessary. And try to set aside definite relaxing time in the routine, like one of you take a full morning off each day for a proper lie in while the other does the fun stuff with the kids. Try to routine it all so you both get a definite time for self care, and dont feel bad about the amount of tv they watch etc? How old are the kids -can you give some jobs to them?

RealBecca · 26/09/2021 17:20

Yanbu, weekends/weekdays are all some sort of work, either paid or unpaid.

I find getting out for a morning even for a fun family activity like swimming helps a bit. But you arent alone.

Original poster

Wafflethefuckinwonderdog · 26/09/2021 17:25

Thank you.
Kids are 7 and 5

OP posts:

inkhopper · 26/09/2021 17:36

I'd suggest Friday afternoon or early evening have a whole family tidying / cleaning session for say an hour or so doing one room at a time together until the whole house is done (as far as possible). (If you need to do a bit on Thursday too do that!). Then celebrate with a pizza and party once it's all done. Then the weekend is less about cleaning and more about fun.

scully29 · 26/09/2021 17:36

Cool 7 and 5 are a good age to do jobs, you can tell them the plan is to write a list of household jobs that they can choose from, do it with them and make it fun, like they are old enough for some responsibility now. Hoovering is a good doable one for a 7 year old, mine chose that as one of his jobs. Its not going to be done brilliantly, but its a starting point and will make you know it will get easier. Give them the main room to hoover and praise how its done, and it will improve. Other jobs might be - they make their own lunch sandwiches, definitely tidying their bedrooms and their toys away end of the day etc that kind of thing. Teach them to wipe down the kitchen after making their sandwiches etc. Then cut out all non essentials like ironing and dont feel guilty about it. Your well being is far far more important than straight clothes. Every little helps and as they learn to help more in the family the better it will be. if you can get out for a run or a walk early on that helps as its always easier to get out the door without the kids. And have a routine plan so you dont need to waste time each week thinking what you will do - like tv time while you rest/run etc, then they make the sandwiches for a picnic to take out for a family fun walk/whatever activity you all enjoy, then come in and watch a family movie while you do your work etc?

scully29 · 26/09/2021 17:38

yes friday night family blitz is a great idea while you cook the pizza, get it speed done before the movie comes on, that kind of thing will work well with that age!

Starrynight468 · 26/09/2021 17:51

I try to make sure all the uniform gets washed Friday night so I don't have to think about it over the weekend. The cleaner also comes Thursday or Friday depending.

My dc are older now but when they were young we used to go out for food with friends and their dc every Friday. One of those awful pubs with a soft play so the dc ran wild and we all caught up over wine . Saturday was park or swimming with friends and Saturday night was always take-away night. Some Saturdays we went on adventures and we had NT passes for cheap days out. Sunday we did martial arts class together and went over my nans or my mums for a roast. I really miss my weekends with my dc now they're older!

I think if I was you OP I'd either clean up every evening to make sure the weekend is for fun or get a cleaner if you can afford it. I did go through a Saturday morning cleaning phase but you waste the best day when you're cleaning!

Snowdropsandbluebells · 26/09/2021 17:56

I used to be exactly like this. Now I make an active decision not to spend the weekend doing housework (mine are 6 and 7 and dh doesn't do much as we are renovating so it's all diy)

Try and batch cook and use that spare half an hour with less pots to wash too and get one all job done. Eg laundry. I do a bit more I'm the mornings.

Today we ate out and went to a lovely park. I'm sitting now with wine and the Holiday on Netflix.

Foghead · 26/09/2021 18:01

I agree with others - get family involved on Friday afternoon blitz. Get uniforms and laundry washed, clean bathrooms and bedrooms.
Keep on top of kitchen and living room daily.
Plan easy meals for the weekend and do the prep in the mornings.

Then plan one family activity out even if it’s just the morning and plan a relaxing movie night.
We always try to get everything done as early as possible so have a relaxing dinner on Sunday evening followed by dessert and tv then a fairly early night for everyone.

Veryverycalmnow · 26/09/2021 18:15

I like the idea of team tidying too! I also think it's ok not to iron. Most people I know don't iron.

Carolloveswine · 26/09/2021 18:19

This reply has been deleted

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Eralos · 26/09/2021 18:25

Oh this fills me with dread as I’m a teacher with two young kids (I’m working 4 days too with a tlr) by the ages your kids are I thought things would be better! Mine are 2 and 4.

We have a cleaner that helps loads, but yeah the weekends are draining I never feel refreshed ready for work again, hang on if you have a 5 and 7 year old and only work 4 days aren’t you getting one child free day a week!?? I would love that!!

LouLou198 · 26/09/2021 18:31

Yes I have felt exactly the same! Recently I have felt on the brink of burnout and realised things need to change. My dc are a similar age to yours. I have started to give them little jobs to do, making beds, tidying up, setting the table. Saturday evening meal is something I can shove in the oven such as a pizza, and we eat off paper plates so no washing up. I have spent this week de-cluttering in hope it will make my life less chaotic, and tomorrow I'm starting the "organised mum method". Apparently my house will be clean and I will get my weekends back, so I'm giving it a try!

Armychefbethebest · 26/09/2021 18:36

I used to feel like this but... for me I find that a friday afternoon of a good clean through and ironing everyone's uniforms for the next week frees a lot of time up a few hours aside to prepare homemade soups cottage pies lasagne ect might free you up more time in the week to do a bit of planning then weekend is practically yours then by doing this we managed to go out for the full day yesterday and absolutely nothing today instead of a constant groundhog day of cooking cleaning and general crappery xx

Tal45 · 26/09/2021 18:37

Can you afford a cleaner to take some of the pressure off?

NalPolishRemover · 26/09/2021 18:39

I agree with the pp who say try to get the house in order during the week/ fri eve so you have time to relax over the 2 days. A lie in each - one per day. Or plan a brunch out with a play in the park, tire them out & get them to bed early then a relaxing night for you & your dh with a takeaway / easy dinner/ wine & a movie. Find time to rest & recharge.

Olivegreenstrawberries · 26/09/2021 18:44

I feel the same. Mine are 1 and 4. I already cook every other day and make enough for the following day. I do mid week washing. But on Sundays I still have to cook for mine and husband's lunches, uniform washing and cook for Sunday night and Monday night. I get husband to tidy up and hoover. Lots of my friends go away for weekends frequently and I just think how do they get everything done?! I don't even do any ironing.

modgepodge · 26/09/2021 18:53

@scully29

I think the ‘weekend business’ is just her teaching job, the bits she didn’t manage to do in the week!

ThesecondLEM · 26/09/2021 18:53

I'd get a cleaner. Farm out the ironing if you really must iron. I don't own an iron, life is too short.

You work really hard all week, your children will be working hard at school too. They really shouldn't have to be cleaning on top of their working week. They can help by keeping their rooms tidy, organising their washing, cleaning shoes etc but housework? Bugger that!

I would love a cleaner but we're just too untidy so I have a major blitz once in a blue moon

scully29 · 26/09/2021 19:01

yes sorry I meant busyness not business, as in lower expectations of what needs doing!

Kitkat151 · 26/09/2021 19:03

Definately do a Friday evening blitz....that used to lift my mood as I knew the house was straight for the weekend when mine were little....then just a quick flick round on a Sunday night.....but I hear you....it’s relentless when kids are small and you are working

Neveragain990 · 26/09/2021 19:14

I hate weekends. It’s football, clubs and homework plus cleaning. Everyone is fed up. It doesn’t get easier imo.

VladmirsPoutine · 26/09/2021 19:18

Yanbu.

angelikacpickles · 26/09/2021 19:20

What do you do on your day that you don't work? (You mentioned you work 4 days a week). I also work four days a week and use that day to do groceries, housework etc. I assume if your kids are 7 and 5, they are in school that day?

Original poster

Wafflethefuckinwonderdog · 26/09/2021 19:21

I do have Friday as a child free day but by the time I have dropped them off for 9, done some tidying, cleaning or bit of marking and lunch, it's time to get them again at 3. This Friday, DH car needed to go to garage so I spent part of the day taking him to and from the garage.

OP posts:

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