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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you all did for your big 40

175 replies

SidSparrow · 26/09/2021 14:19

Curious to know if I'm alone in having one of the worst birthdays ever! It was as special as a wet fart. It feels like the big 40 is something people really celebrate - is it?

OP posts:
Blueberry40 · 26/09/2021 14:51

Went to the beach for the day with my DP and 2 DS and had some lunch in a nice place overlooking the sea. Am lucky as it is in August so the weather was reasonable. No party or huge celebration but that’s not really me anyway and tbh I wouldn’t have many people to invite!

CurryLover55 · 26/09/2021 14:57

Mine was a washout - I’d had a tooth out in the week leading up to it so was feeling grotty & couldn’t eat DH’s Thai chicken curry , plus there was heavy snow so we couldn’t do our planned trip upcountry to see DB & DSIL. The best bit was choosing an eternity ring which I absolutely love.

Ozanj · 26/09/2021 14:57

Mine was during lockdown so nothing. There wasn’t even cake available in the local supermarkets as it was ‘non-essential’. To make things worse I moved and got made redundant at the same time and lost my entire friend circle so there wouldn’t have been anyone to celebrate with even if shops / pubs were open.

Making up for it this year by going abroad and trying to make new friends

PoppityBoo · 26/09/2021 15:00

Mine was during lockdown, so a weekend away turned into a Chinese takeaway!! Had a lovely day at home though with constant ‘doorstep’ visitors all day and felt truly loved. Off for a weekend away with the girls for my 41st instead!

Hattie765 · 26/09/2021 15:02

Well I let my DH plan it and it was fucking awful. He managed to organise a party (venue, food, drinks) for 100 people but chose it in a part of the country no-one would want to travel to, booked it for a bank holiday weekend and gave people 10 days notice. Needless to say about 10 people turned up (mostly people I wasn't that close to) and it was excruciating embarrassing, just looked like I was a Billy no mates. I took the only option available to me, I got catastrophically drunk and made more of a tit of myself (obviously) and decided to never celebrate a birthday again! Xxx

Peggytheredhen · 26/09/2021 15:03

OP, my 40th wasn't amazing either. I went to a restaurant for lunch, then got food poisoning.

Hattie765 · 26/09/2021 15:04

@PoppityBoo

Mine was during lockdown, so a weekend away turned into a Chinese takeaway!! Had a lovely day at home though with constant ‘doorstep’ visitors all day and felt truly loved. Off for a weekend away with the girls for my 41st instead!
Ahh how lovely for you, probably not what OP was looking for though tbh 🙄
HairyFloppins · 26/09/2021 15:05

Went to London and went to see a show. Was meant to be in California but wasn't allowed there this year.

Peggytheredhen · 26/09/2021 15:06

That made me chuckle though @Hattie765. That does sound like a night to remember! Wink

I semi-accidentally threw a party for DH's 40th and fed everyone dairylea sandwiches (and it was really awkward and embarrassing) so I can't talk though.

Sashwindowsquestions · 26/09/2021 15:06

On my 40th, I woke up to find my car window smashed, then has a stressful morning persuading my boss I was telling the truth, followed by depressing rest of the day at work and evening by myself. I'd just come out of a breakup and best friend had just died, so all fairly depressing and lonely.

SecretKeeper1 · 26/09/2021 15:10

50 is the new 40.

It used to be that “life begins at 40” because by that age most of our grandparents and parents had almost grown up children, with all the renewed freedoms that brings. Nowadays, the average 40 year old still has primary school aged kids hanging off them Grin

Crunchymum · 26/09/2021 15:10

Mine was last year. In lock down.

I ordered a posh cake and got pissed. This year's was no better as I was in hospital with DC3 (planned admission, no-one was actually poorly, so that is something I suppose!)

Skysblue · 26/09/2021 15:15

Cried my eyes out in the morning (as I always said I’d give up ttc at 40); husband went to work, I went to a posh hotel on my own and tried to convince myself it was fun while feeling like a total lonely loser, then got takeaway feeling utterly depressed.

Hope yours is better. I think the people who have great 40th birthdays are the ones with loads of vivacious friends who all know each other.

TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 26/09/2021 15:15

Socially distant walk on the beach with 1 friend. Doorstep visits from other friends. Afternoon tea delivery with my parents and my daughter.
I was spoilt rotten by my parents as I’d had a tough year and plans had to change at the last minute due to tier changes in December. It wasn’t the birthday I’d wanted but actually loved it and it turned out to be the birthday I needed

Strokethefurrywall · 26/09/2021 15:21

My 40th was amazing and one of my favorite memories.
DH surprised me by flying my sister and best friend over (with live overseas) the night before, and the morning of my birthday started with banners and a steady delivery of champagne being dropped off by friends.
Spent the day at a spa and then a lunch, had a massive party and a few weeks later DH and I went to Honduras and stayed at an eco resort in the mountains where we were the only people staying. ‘‘Twas magic!

Fallulah · 26/09/2021 15:21

It was last year so no big party, but lots of little gatherings… the rules had been a little relaxed by the time it came around but we still had the rule of six.

Big takeaway at home with parents, sister and partner.
Afternoon tea with four friends.
Meal out with three other friends.
Meal out with five work mates.

I felt a bit like you in the run up, that it would be a bit rubbish, but stretching it out across a week was great fun!

DENMAN03 · 26/09/2021 15:23

Hired a big house for the weekend with 18 of my closest mates.. had an amazing time.

Sn0tnose · 26/09/2021 15:25

Mine was really nice. I did a city break with DH and we did all the touristy stuff. I also went to Brighton for a night with my two oldest friends. We had dinner at a restaurant where they had singers and musicians. An opera singer sang happy birthday to me and then we went for cocktails, then the next day, we did a bit of shopping before coming home. It was just really bloody lovely.

Animum2 · 26/09/2021 15:32

I had started going out with my dh in the November and we decided in March that we would go to New York for a long weekend for my birthday in the June, was lots of fun

languagelover96 · 26/09/2021 15:32

I turned 24 during the first public nationwide lockdown. I was supposed to go to a escape room and we booked a seaside hotel in Devon last year but had to cancel everything. Instead I had a party at home with Prosecco and nice games. I had a lovely birthday cake in lieu of my original birthday plans however and I wore a blue dress.

Terminallysleepdeprived · 26/09/2021 15:33

Nothing, it was during lockdown 1.

Everyone, friends, family etc all promised we would do something this year but again my birthday barely received an acknowledgement.

I am done making a fuss for anybody else as a result.

PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 26/09/2021 15:45

Lunch with a friend on the Friday, dinner with different friends on the Saturday, lunch out with family on the Sunday.

nellyburt · 26/09/2021 15:49

A small afternoon party with 20 - 30 close family and friends. Bettys on the day. A week away with the kids and a night away with dh. All lovely

MojoJojo71 · 26/09/2021 15:53

As my 40th approached it became clear that nobody was bothered about my birthday, not even my now exP so I booked a last minute flight and DS and I had a lovely week in Lanzarote together

ShinyMe · 26/09/2021 16:27

Trying to remember mine - I was at work and it was our busiest time, so I imagine I just worked a 12 hour day and then collapsed on the sofa. I do know my colleages got me a card and some wine, but I don't remember anything else.